Help me with my crazy choking fear please!

[anametouse]

DS is 7 months and BF. I've been slack with weaning (as boobing has been very easy for me) but have started on Ella's purée (which he will eat a little of but seems bored)

DH wants to BLW. He's keen to introduce toast and chunks of fruit and veg.

I am absolutely terrified of choking. So scared I cry when he raises the idea. I know I'm wrong - I KNOW and i don't want to cry the first time I give him food.

I keep putting it off and I know I can't keep doing this.

Yes I know this a deeper issue for me, I'm working on it but it'll take longer than I have. DS will be 19 and still on mash 🙄

Help and reassurance please

Firstly, if you think it would help rather than exacerbate, maybe you could do a baby first aid course so that you know what to do in the very unlikely event that anything untoward happens.

Secondly you could borrow a copy of the BLW book by Gill Rapley and read through the explanations in there about her theory of how babies learn to eat. It might help allay some of your fears. Particularly the difference between gagging (noisy, normal and a protective mechanism whilst babies learn to manipulate food) and choking (silent and not normal).

You don't have to swap to BLW, you can follow your husbands idea of giving some finger foods alongside the purée. If you're nervous to begin with you could give things that dissolve quickly like the various brands of baby crisp type snacks e.g. Organix. Steamed veg in batons is also a good first thing to try, also roast wedges of potato/sweet potato. Banana can be split lengthways into wedges that are easy to pick up. Broccoli trees work well, and disintegrate nicely too. Fine green beans were always popular with my children at that age. Toast fingers with unsalted butter as well.

If you can, try and eat your own food at the same time so you're not watching them eat.

I did a Baby first aid course, so I feel confident that In the unlikely event something was to happen I'd know what to do.

I started off with a rusk mashed in milk, baby porridge and some Ella's pouches just to get DS me used to it. After a week I added a few finger foods, like over cooked carrot batons and bananas. We have been weaning for around 6 weeks now and lunch is full finger foods but lunch and dinner is mashed food with something to hold i.e. Fruit, bread etc.
My husband is very much like you and doesn't like seeing him eat 'real' food as he is scared he will choke. He is a lot better now but understand that for him it's not irrational just as it isn't for you.

You don't have to BLW you can do a mix or none at all, whatever your confident with