Mealtime battles

[stupidoctopus]

I am at my wits end. DD is almost 12 months and has been on solids quite happily since 5 months. Within the past 3/4 weeks, however, she has become a real nightmare at mealtimes.

Usually, within 5 or 6 spoonfuls of food, she starts head shaking, whinging and generally refusing to open her mouth. Sometimes I can distract her with a toy and get a few more mouthfuls in her but that's it.
She's not full, because she will quite happily eat anything else and its not an independence thing, as I offer her the spoon but she just bats it away.
I've tried offering more finger foods but they just end up on the floor.
I've also tried offering food straight from the fridge in case her teeth are bothering her (she currently has none and no sign of any).

The only time she will ever eat a decent size meal is if we are out of the house. Example, out for lunch with her DGM and I, she ate: almost an entire 7m+ jar, 3 small cucumber sandwiches, 2 sweet corn crisp things, a yogurt, a babybel, and half a kids oaty bar thing.

She has one 5/6oz bottle in the afternoon and one 8/9oz bottle in the evening before bed. She also has a small snack (usually fruit or a biscuit) with the afternoon bottle and a mid morning snack too.

Is it teeth or is she bored by food?

I should add regarding milk, she was being offered a mid morning bottle too but would only drink 1oz of it so stopped offering. She sleeps through most nights, usually if she wakes though it's for milk.

She has started waking for the day at 5:30 recently, so I am considering introducing a small bottle around then as once I'm back at work, she won't be having her breakfast until she's at the childminders, around 8am-ish.

Take it away when she shows that she's had enough - your idea of the right amount isn't always the same as hers. What you need to avoid is any kind of battle over food.

But that surely isn't always right. This morning, she had two spoonfuls of her breakfast and that was all she'd have until I put a toy in front of her.

She's started getting incredibly grumpy between meals through hunger now and I can't do anything with her until she's had milk. Even a small snack won't sort her out. It's a vicious cycle because the milk then fills her up so much she won't eat her next meal...and so on.

I agree with Footle, if she refuses to eat any more then that's the end of the meal. I wouldn't start adding more milk back into her day either. If she's hungry between meals then offer a snack, not milk. She'll eat less at some meals and more at others.

My daughter was the same at this age. We'd go out for a meal and she'd wolf down a huge plate of pasta but at home it'd be up the wall (we are considering painting over the dried on weetabix). Starting nursery helped as she ate better there (due to peer pressure I suppose) but she can still be picky at home. She's 2.5 now and eats what she wants. When she's had enough she's had enough and there's no forcing her. She's a slim little thing but not off the scale so we just go with it.

@stupidoctopus I could of wrote that myself! My DS has just turned 1 and is exactly the same apart from he won't have any milk now either. I'm at my wits end and was offering alternatives to try and get him to eat but I've just decided now that when he refuses after a couple further attempts that's the end of meal time.
I feel your frustration though meal times used to be a pleasure he used to love food now I dread them!