9.5 month old, refuses food/bottles. Back to shift work in 3 weeks. Help!

[milkyway1304]

I've posted about this before and was generally reassured that my dd would start eating, but if anything things are now worse.

My dd is almost 10 months. She is bf on demand (and will demand up to every 2 hours if I can't distract her), has never accepted a bottle. Will drink water from a cup but not milk.

Started weaning at 6 months and would never eat from a spoon so went down the BLW route. She has essentially zero interest in solids. In the past week she has swallowed approximately 10peas. That's really it.

I'm going back to work full time, shifts including regular nights in 3 weeks and have no idea how she will manage. I will be working up to 70 hours some weeks. She has had some settling in days at nursery (up to 6 hours) and refused all milk and solids, becomes upset but will hold out. I've tried giving her food an hour after bf, 2 hours, holding out and refusing to bf.

I don't stress (in front of her) or try to force feed her, but I really need her to 1. Eat so I know she will be ok when I'm working 2. Cut back on breastfeeds so I won't be horribly engorged going back to work.

Please does anyone have any advice, as am getting desperate.

Anyone have any ideas? She last breastfed at 7am this morning; I've headed out for a few hours as a trial run. I've already delayed my return to work as long as possible.

I don't think I've got anything particularly useful to advise but didn't want to leave your post unanswered...

Fundamentally, you can't make her eat or do anything that will guarantee she eats. The childcare setting she will be in should be used to this kind of situation, and have some strategies for coping with it. It's a new routine that will take a while to get used to. Eventually though she will get the idea that this is new normal.

I think if she hasn't cut down on breastfeeds then some engorgement is inevitable. Do you have facilities where you can express a little to relieve the pressure?

I think you really need to cut down on the bfs, sorry if not what you want to hear.

I would also be offering a variety of foods not just blw, I would also have her sat at the table with you when you are eating and put lots of different things out for her to try. Plus I would be offering things like porridge and yogurt on a spoon.

I think she has no interest in solids because she is filling op on breast milk.

Thanks everyone. I know she's filling up on breastmilk, I have been stretching out feeds as long as possible. She gets distraught if I'm about and don't feed her and I can't deal with seeing her so upset.

When I do leave her with others she will drink water but refuse food. I've offered spoon feeds, loaded spoon, finger food. She will not allow a spoon near her mouth, she will gag and vomit if it's sneaked in (I haven't done this, my mother has in my absence). She eats at the same time as us and sits with us. I know she will eventually get the hang of it. I just don't want her really upset when I go back to work. I'll be working in frontline NHS services, expressing not really an option.

I am a nurse and went back to work when dd was 8 months, I reduced the bfs by 1 a week from when she was 7 months in preparation, then only fed morning and evening.

With regards to the food issues I would speak to a hv as does seem quite extreme, I would also be really concerned about her becoming anaemic due to lack of solids.

Was she a full term baby? The only baby I know in rl who struggled with solids was prem and he did eventually get the hang of it.

Have you tried giving her some milk from a cup? My friends dd was a bottle refuser but would take some formula from a sippy cup as long as my friend kept her distracted!!

My guess is once you are not there she will eventually be hungry enough to either try food or take milk from a bottle/ cup. However i think you are going to be really uncomfortable by the end of a 12 hour shift, if you can't express and haven't cut down bfs.

Hi girlie, yes we have had little success with a cup. She can drink water, and self feeds the water with a sippy cup but won't take milk. I know I'm going to be very uncomfortable. I've only recently
taken the job, and delayed start date as long as possible. She was full term. I don't think there's any reason she doesn't eat apart from disinterest. She can eat, if she feeds herself; she just isn't really bothered- she has had the very occasional bite of toast/pasta, and she does eat peas (a few at a time). She on the other hand loves breastfeeding. It's basically her comfort blanket. Unfortunately she has now got a fever and been vomiting so if anything I'll need to feed her more until she recovers. And then it's back to square one again! If I wasn't going to work in a few weeks I wouldn't be worried, I know she'll get the hang of it eventually. It just looks like it's going to be very upsetting for her.

Oh I feel for you. DS is 9.5 months, still bf lots.

My situation is not as bad as yours as I still have a bit more time (going back to work when he turns one).

What we've been doing for the past month is:

• Totally relax about food. We are doing BLW too and if he eats great, if not no stress.
• Being very persistent with bottles. He wasn't keen but we try almost every day and he is getting better. I found he's happiest sitting up straight while having them rather than lying in my arms. Also we tried a few different bottle types.

Hope it works out for you

Oh dear sorry to her little one is poorly hope she feels better soon.

Good luck with going back to work, am sure it will all even out eventually!!

Thanks everyone, just wanted to update you all that on Wednesday she suddenly started eating. She's had a little food at each meal for the past few days (finger food) and even had solid poos! Didn't do anything different, seems she just finally got the hang of it. Dramatically reduced her breastfeeds suddenly too, so looks like she'll only need to make up her lunchtime milk in the nursery. I'm quite engorged but managing with hand expressing. Fingers crossed this keeps up next week when settling in!

Wow, this is exactly what my daughter is doing at the moment. She is only 8months at the moment so hopefully she'll just suddenly pick it too.

So pleased for you that she is now eating well.