Confirm or rubbish my interpretation of BLW please (& do same with HV advice!)

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I've only been doing BLW for about 4 days now & am sill not sure if I'm doing right by my DS (6.5m). Then the HV came today & didn't help the situation either!

Having read Gill Rapley's book, in my mind what I should be doing is:
*Offering DS food at our mealtimes (where possible) for him to pick up & explore, actually swallow or just gnaw on/suck, all to help develop the dexterity & skill to self feed.

*Still giving his milk feeds (he's bottle fed) until he's older & eating more & naturally wants less feeds (around 1, following the whole 'food's for fun...' motto)

DS is still early days & although he brings stuff straight to his mouth he's still developing his dexterity & most of what he puts in his mouth comes out again.

What the HV said this morning:
That he needs to be getting more food into him - 3 meals a day & reduce the milk to 20oz (this would mean basically dropping 2 feeds straight away).

I feel the HV is wrong but she has been lovely & so it's made me doubt myself doing BLW, but at the same time I am uncomfortable with the idea of suddenly thrusting 3 meals upon him. Which as he can't really feed himself just now would mean me spoon feeding which isn't what I want to do.
Also not helped by MIL's recent comments re: choking (she is a fusspot tho about loads of things like undoing bibs for "being uncomfortable at the back of your little neck" & other such rubbish). Also DH's ignorance on the matter (I am going to make him read the book!!).

I'd appreciate comments on whether I've correctly got the gist of BLW & also whether to ignore or heed the HV advice.

He is 4 days into weaning. You don't need to drop milk feeds yet, that happens on it's own (IME several weeks/months after starting solids).

The sort of stuff you can 'shovel' into him is usually low calorie/low nutrient stuff that will not be better for him than milk.

He doesn't need to have 3 x meals right away, but you can offer a bit of your food each time you eat, eg something at breakfast, bit of sandwiches/fruit/cheese on toast/dips.whatever at lunch and let him steal some of your tea later on.

You are right, the HV is wrong.

20oz a day is a MINIMUM amount a baby from 6-12,the should have.

MIL - my advice is don't discuss it beyond saying - oh they love food or oh not too keen yet. Youngest was purely BLW, I'm not sure anyone knew unless they saw a mealtime.

Discussing things is often misinterpreted as asking for advice

You're right. HV is wrong. Gagging is not choking.

HTH.

Enjoy!

PS, if you want a laugh, try mango or melon wedges. When pincer grip has developed, a tray of peas will keep little one occupied for ages while you wash up/ have a rest/ mumsnet.

HV is talking codswallop.

With dd2 I just started with lunch only and offered cooked vegetables followed by a top up milk feed. Then I added breakfast and lastly dinner.

I found she developed a much better gag reflex than dd1 who was mixed BLW and purees. She eats a wide range of foods now at 17 months. There is no need to rush it, most of a baby's nutritional intake before 12 months is supplied by milk.

Your baby is right! As in, he will get the hang of food and then drop milk when he's ready, like Moaning said. The only thing I spoon feed my daughter is petit filous, the odd Ella's pouch, and beans when she's getting frustrated. Oh, and her weetabix... quite a lot when I think of it! But she has loads to pick up and nibble on too.

As a HV I hate to say it but your HV is wrong. I have done BLW with 2 of my 3 children so I like to feel I have relevant knowledge and advice.
Take it at whatever pace your child is happy with. Weaning is more about learning to eat a different way in the early days than about what or how much they are taking in. Milk remains the major part of the diet for up to 12 months. Don't limit the milk, it will naturally decline as the solids increase. But having an appetite for solids is good so don't offer milk too close to offering solids if you can. Just offer solids at regular mealtimes and take it from there. Don't worry if they do not eat much, they will soon get the hang of it. My children were closer to 7 months before they really started to eat anything.

I agree with what everyone else says but the only thing I would add would be to make sure you are offering some iron rich foods every day e.g. strips of roast chicken to chew on, hummous with roasted or steamed carrot sticks / rice cakes, slices of dried apricot.

Milk is still the most important thing but iron stores do start to dip from this age onwards.

As others have said, you are spot on. The thing I loved about blw was that I could relax about how much or how little food DS was ingesting because I knew he would still have the nutrients from milk ( and I have a very funny photo of him sticking a green bean up his nose!).

You can always ask for evidence based research from your HV to back up her comments.....or just carry on as you are.

I found I parted company with the hv's when it came to weaning, did BLW w DS1 just as you described following Rapley's principles. For fussy choking obsessed GPs (& DH) we did a children's centre first aid course and I let the instructor explain the difference and what to do if the worst did happen.

My mum does still enjoy spooning some food into my now 2yo DS1 when she looks after him once a week but since she mostly lets him feed himself I try to remain relaxed about it .

You are right HV is wrong. It took my dd ages to actually eat food. She smushed it, dropped it, licked it, fed it to me before devouring it after weeks of just playing.

She refused to be fed anything for about 2 years and is still quite suspicious of food. I think if I had dropped feeds after a few days and spoon fed her she would have gone off food completely.

Keep going s-l-o-w-l-y. It doesn't matter if it takes a few weeks for him to actually eat something you are letting him satisfy his hunger at his pace. I assure you that he will on day eat very independently and enjoy his food

Thank you for your replies & advice as it's made me feel more relaxed about it all. It's good to know I am on the right track. I just need to learn to listen to my instincts more I suppose & take extra advice with a big pinch of salt!