Can you explain our melt downs?!

[blushingmare]

DD (9mo) has been on solids since 6mo and we're doing mainly finger foods, with the odd bit of spoon feeding of yoghurt, rice, cereal etc.

She can eat brilliantly, really tucking into it and obviously enjoying herself, but she often has complete meltdowns where she just bursts into tears after the first few mouthfuls, doesn't pick up any more, wont let me spoonfeed and generally gets really upset.

She is generally a brilliant eater when eating in public with other people around. However, most of our meals at home when it's just me and her end in a complete melt down and her not having eaten hardly anything.

Can anyone suggest any reasons for this and any solutions??

I don't know what the reasons for it are, except that the reason it doesn't happen when you're out is probably distraction/excitement.

What do you do when the meltdown starts? I would say 'okay, if you don't want it that's fine. Lets put it over here' and push it to the middle of the table so she can reach it if she changes her mind. Then get on with your own, let her play with her toys in the high chair next to you and pay no attention to the lack of eating. I bet some of the time she'll reach for the food eventually, but sometimes she won't. Either way, offer pudding when you e finished your meal, and again she can take it or leave it.

She won't starve herself. She really won't. If you stress and react to her refusal/meltdown, she'll think she can control things by refusing to eat. If life just carries on either way, she'll eat if she's hungry or it's cake.

There is a book called My child won't eat'. Can't remember who it's by, but it is very reassuring to parents with children who won't eat. And remember, this too shall pass^ :)

Oops, italic fail

Thanks Sandboy - I think I do pander to it too much. My usual thing is to try and encourage her to eat more by offering her some yoghurt and sometimes coating whatever she's eating with yoghurt too! But I'm always thinking "I shouldn't be doing this", but can't quite get beyond the thought that she needs to eat something.

It's just so annoying because when she eats well it's a real pleasure. We've just got back from a holiday where we were travelling round an staying with lots of different people and everyone was always commenting on what a great eater she is and how amazing it is to see her tucking into a roast dinner or whatever. But at home on her own with me she's like a completely different baby. I've tried having radio/tv/computer on to cause a distraction, but they just distract her in the wrong way.

Is it possible that she has bitten her finger? That happens to DS sometimes when he is eating. Don't worry about how much she is eating. She is still getting most of her nutrition from milk at this stage.

I think it's too frequent for that tbh, and too consistently happens just with me but not in company. I know they say that about the milk, but she's definitely cut her milk feeds right down - can barely get her to feed for more than a couple of minutes these days. Maybe that just means she's eating more than I think though!

My baby does this too! And I do the yoghurt thing too! Sometimes ill take him out of his high chair, for a quick cuddle, and then try again. Im hoping it's just a phase.

Just read your bit about milk. We have matching babies! The only time mine is interested in milk is when he's sleepy.

My dd did this - I've managed to work out two reasons which may or may not help! One is when she can see something else that she would rather eat first when I'm trying to shovel in something else, and the other is actually when she needs a burp. Sounds crazy, but she was a windy milk feeder who always needed burping and the same was true when she started solids, but it didn't really occur to me until she did one massive burp one day mid-meltdown and cheered right up.

That's interesting MeHearty. What did you do? Did you take her out of her highchair and try to wind her?

Yes - a few pats to the back usually got a burp and then she would happily eat away again. Strange child!

Mine does this when she's over tired. She's a bugger for day time naps! All she wants at that stage is milk and then will happily eat whatever was on offer before.