Totally failed at weaning. Need advice

[Anxiouswoman]

My ds is 2 and he has always been a tricky customer but lately we are really struggling. I blame myself, I know a lot of mums do Anabel Karmel etc but I felt too overwhelmed with everything (life) when he started eating and he did Plum and Ellas Kitchen sachets. He ate them pretty well but since going on to solids it has been a struggle. Currently there are only three meals he will eat- pasta with tomato and basil sauce, chicken in gravy or sausages. I've tried fish over and over but the only fish he likes is tuna. For lunch he usually likes to have toast or crackers with tuna or maybe ham if I'm lucky, and he has yogurts, rice cakes and caramel soya deserts for snacks. Thing is, now he is even spitting out these things he supposedly likes.
I end up trying him with toast etc because he rejects his dinner as I'm worried he will go to bed hungry.
Should I be being tougher on him and just offering him a dinner and if he doesnt want it not give him anything else?
He also will only eat sweetcorn and no other fruit or veg. So frustrating. I read you should try foods up to 15 times before they will eat it but to be honest when I am struggling to get anything down him it all seems too hard.
Any advice would be very welcome.

I should add that he is allergic to bothmilk and eggs which makes options smaller.

I have a fussy 2 year old as well. What I tend to do is breakfast he likes (toast or weetabix) lunch he likes (cheese sandwich and an apple) and then dinner I like.

Sometimes dinner is things he does like and sometimes it isn't. We all sit at the table together and if he chooses not to eat what is on offer then that is up to him! Going to bed hungry won't do him any harm. I used to offer plain yoghurt or fruit for pudding regardless of whether he ate dinner, but recently (he is 27 months) I have said he has to try/taste everything on his plate if he wants pudding. Sometimes this means he will just put a pea in his mouth and spit it out again, sometimes he will actually take a bite of potato and decide he actually likes it.

No child is going to starve themselves, and missing a few dinners won't do any harm. It looks like your child will eat something from every food group, so I would just give him a multivitamin and don't let it get to you.

One of the best pieces of advice i was given about fussy eaters is to keep it small, at meal times offer a plate of food that only has a small amount of food that you know he will eat and a small amount of something that is new to him, or that you want him to try.

That way his plate won't look daunting there is food he knows he likes and there is something new for him to try, i would encourage him to try the new thing, touch, lick, eat whatever you want, always offer a new food with every meal in order for him to understand that he needs to try.

Ooh and be consistent
HTH

Also, my sons, and many other children I know, went through a fussy phase at age 2 anyway. So it's likely nothing to do with how you weaned him.

Just keep offering the foods you'd like him to eat along with things he likes & try not to stress too much.

I found that I could encourage them more to try foods as they got older. They understood concepts like 'broccoli makes you grow up big & strong', or 'chicken gives you big muscles' or 'spiderman loves sweetcorn'

Positive encouragement without pressure works.

Also agree that at 2 they are often naturally fussy and don't think it has anything to do with the way you started introducing solids. In fact most of the fussy children I know were weaned the Annabel Karmel way, so please don't blame yourself.

There is some really good advice on here already about small portion sizes and offering something new along with something you know they will eat.

My DS would have happily eaten just cheese sandwiches at that age if I had let him but know will only refuse fresh tomatoes, which isn't bad at 8.

As well as the advice you've already had I'd say, eat with him. Don't coax, comment on what he does or doesn't eat or get drawn on conversations about what he will or won't eat.

My DD has gone through a really fussy stage and would often say I'm not eating this and push it away, we stay calm and just say ok.

Don't offer alternatives though, it is hard to think that he might go to bed hungry but he can't be hungry if he won't eat can he?

He'll soon realise that he has to eat and there is nothing else coming his way if he refuses.

Try to get this book too.

How are you feeling yourself now? Are you feeling more able to cope with things?