my mother and weaning.(I dont know what to call this thread)

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My mum came on Tuesday and my ds who is usually content and happy was having a cry/grumble,he is 13 weeks old.He has been haveing a cry for a few days actully I try to distract him but my god its hard and wearing.

Anyway my mum turns up today when he was having a cry/grumble.She sends me upstairs to have half an hour to myself after 15 mins its all gone quiet so I went down stairs and there she is feeding him baby rice she had brought with her.Im upset for 2 reasons,firstly I should of been the first person to feed him and secondly he is 13 weeks old.I didnt say anything because she was feeding him and he was loveing it.when he went to sleep I had a word with her.

Now I dont know what to do,I have just read all this stuff on the internet about virgin guts and loads of other things.What shall I do just go back to breast feeding him?,he has expressed milk for his afternoon feeds this is what she made it with.Is he going to get ill?

Sorry he is my first child and honestly I just dont know,I usually google everything before I change anything.I seriously need to learn to relax about stuff.

What's done is done, although at your mum! No point googling stuff about virgin guts now just carry on feeding normally and wean him when you want to.

When I having bf troubles and trying to decide whether or not to mix feed DD I read that it takes two weeks of exclusive breastfeeding for the gut to return to virgin gut condition. (Not too sure what 'virgin gut condition' is, but felt reassured by this...)

He won't get ill, don't worry. Just continue with milk as you were before and it will all be fine.

Also set out some boundaries with your mum. Times have moved on from her day etc.

OMG. Much to young. I have gone mad tbh.

you seriously need to point out to her that she has raised her children, thanks, and now you get to raise yours and you will hit the roof if she does anything like that again.
that said, what's done is done, rice powder is nothing much of anything, and i'd forget about the actual feeding and go back to bf if i were you.

I'd be upset at Mum doing this without asking. However....times and advice change. When I had DD1 (20) we were told to wean at 12 weeks - and I started her on baby rice at 10 weeks because she was a 10lb-er at birth and was hungry for more than milk by then. By the time I had last DS (7) I was told 'wean at 6 months' which I religiously did. But my older DCs were fine. It won't have harmed your son at all. He loved it and went to sleep. Perhaps he's grumbling because he needs more than breast milk? Although I know all the advice now is weaning later, my DCs (and all of us mums, presumably) were weaned much earlier and seem to have grown up fine! Good luck.

I would have been furious. Regardless of what people did back then, weaning before17 weeks is against medical advice. However as a one off it will surely be fine so don't panic. Just tell her not to do it again.

Pretty shocked at your mum! Blimey that's a cheek, i would be furious too. Definitely set some boundaries. It can be awkward but still, It does go against medical advice & is linked to an increased risk of coeliac disease. My mum wants to give DS water. I tell her he doesn't need it every time I see her but it makes no difference. I won't leave him with her for that reason.

Really nice article here on healing the virgin gut so don't worry

There is a growth spurt around 12 weeks which is why your LO might be grumpy. The Wonder weeks are great for this sort if stuff.

Seriously sleep deprived got there before me (on her nn as well as her advice!)

Get a copy of the wonder weeks and possibly a copy of Gill Rapley's Baby Led Weaning and don't let your mum get away with this. I have a very loving relationship with my mum but she was exactly the same, kept harping on about effing baby rice and how it would help him sleep, then he weaned himself when he was ready, stuffed foods down himself like there was no tomorrow but still didn't bloody sleep and now my mum is the most evangelical blw-er ever!

whoever it was who said that he's your child not hers was right on the money. Gently remind her of this and explain that weaning guidelines have changed significantly and supplementing his breast milk at this stage will reduce your supplies. Hth x

Have to agree with the majority of posts, wean your child when you want to and feel he is ready. But please don't worry about any ill effects following your mums attempts to help. From my first child to my last the advice on weaning from the experts has changed every few years. My first son, a whopper of a baby and very hungry, was introduced to baby rice at 13 weeks with no ill effects and loved it (as advised by the health visitor). My last child was weaned at some time after 6 months and was really disinterested in food until about 2!