my son is driving me nuts

[GlitterySkulls]

hi all, looking for some advice re- food.

DS is 1, has always, until 3 or so weeks ago been a very good eater. he came off baby formula at 9 months, wouldn't touch it, so on advice of HV he had cows milk instead. (he only had 1 bottle of milk just before bed anyway)

now, though, he won't eat anything that isn't a) bread or b) some form of potato-based thing ie chips, roasties, croquettes etc, but he won't eat actual potatoes anymore or c) cheese.

he will very occasionally deign to allow me to feed him yoghurt, but not very often as 9 times out of ten he won't allow me (or anyone else) to spoonfeed him, and he can't do it himself yet.

now and again he will still have a chomp on steak, pork etc, but, once again, not very often.

concerned about his lack of vitamins, minerals, and basic nutrition, i decided to put him back on formula as a short-term solution.(as in, i swapped his night-time cows milk for formula, i'm still attempting to feed him ) on sunday i bought 2 cartons of ready-made formula as a tester (no point buying a big tub of powder if he wont drink it). sunday & monday he drank the formula, no problem.

when DS had his mmr yesterday, i mentioned to the HV (not my usual one) my concerns. all she did was gasp, and go "oh no, don't put him back on (tone of disgust) FORMULA" !!! 3 times i asked what i should do, then, as i was concerned he was getting nothing but carbs & starch. each time she ignored me, & shared "looks" with the other two staff members present.

yes, very helpful

so i bought a tub of the 1+ growing up milk for use prior to bed. DS refused to drink it. and screamed for 45 mins solid until he got juice. now, if he was older, he'd be told, no, you'll have that or nothing. but you can't do that to a 1 year old (other wise i'd be able to sort his fussy eating too).

so, any advice please? because i'm going demented here

:( at the HV and her help.....dear me.

A baby of this age not taking solid food is prob better off nutritionally on formula. Can't think why she was shocked!

As for the fussiness, babies of this age can usually happily feed themselves. One easy thing to do is to put a range of small foods on a plate - a little square of ham, cube of cheese, chopped fruit and veg, finger of bread, sliver of chicken...whatever you have in the house (not suggesting you cook a whole chicken to cut off a sliver if you see what I mean). have some for you and some for him, on two sep plates and just leave him to it, but show some enjoyment when you're eating your bits. He'll enjoy rootling about in the different stuff and may well eat some of it.

taking the tension out of food is an important way of getting toddlers to increase their repertoire and intake .

I second the baby led weaning approach here, lots of finger foods on his tray to pick at.

Would he eat-
Potato crockets that are filled with- salmon and cheese/cod and cheese/mashed up veges?
Toast that has been cut into shapes with a cookie cutter smeared with soft cheese, honey,banana, avocado
Roasted Sweet potato/pumpkin/butternut squash/beetroot wedges
Soup- an easy way to get in lots of nutrients
Homemade pasta raviolis with cheesey/meaty fillings
Pastry twsits that have cheese or very finely grated veg through them
Crudites with homemade hummous (all types of hummous-roasted pepper, broad bean etc)

My DS will eat any raw veg, but really struggles with cooked veg.

Dc should enjoy food - share the fun with loads of different finger foods and supplement with formula where you need to (cup) Your Dc is growing up & probably just wants to experiment more & do what you do! Use your instinct & don't fret - all kids are different & it's better if they don't feel stressed at mealtimes but take your cue.

So sorry at the total lack of support you've received from your Hv. Agree that really he should be on the formula rather than the cows milk, it is fortified with vitamins and minerals which are essential to his growth. If he really won't take the formula, try giving him a vitamin supplement and some cereals fortified with vitamins and minerals, like ready brek. Know you are having trouble with those too though. Will he eat them if you mix fruit or fruit puree in?

tiktok's suggestion of putting little bits of different things out for him is a good one. When our DD was being fussy we did this and she just helped herself to the things she wanted. Also, have you tried putting the yoghurt in a bowl and giving DS the spoon? He may find it easier to cope with if it's not in a pot. You could always add some fruit to it, like strawberries cut up.

Can understand your concerns regarding his nutrition too. There is some information on Calcium here.

It does seem odd to that he has suddenly stopped eating well. Has something happened like illness or choking or a change in family circumstances? How long has he been refusing formula for?

If I were you I'd take him to the GP, get him to check his mouth and ears to rule out illness and ask for a referral to a Paediatric Dietician.

sorry, should have said, DS gets what we eat ie spag bol, steak & potatoes & veg, whatever, & he eats when we eat. i don't do purees for him anymore, stopped around the 6/7 month mark.

he does feed himself, as long as its something he can hold. if its something that needs a spoon (like yoghurt), he has to be fed it, as he doesn't have the co-ordination to do it himself.

he can't be given a plate or bowl, as he just launches it. if you hand him a bit, or pop a few bits on his high chair tray, he'll eat it quite happily.

the fussiness only started approx 3 weeks ago, before that he would happily eat fruit (of any sort, even lemon ) veg, meat, cheese, curry, yoghurt, soup, anything at all.

he's always been a brilliant eater, i had to begin weaning at 10 weeks old ( on hv's advice, i hasten to add- he was drinking 9 ounce of hungry baby milk an hour,every hour, day & night, & constantly vomiting cos his stomach couldn't handle the sheer volume of milk)

he has grudgingly began drinking the formula, and at lunch time i got him to take two yoghurts after his piece, so it's looking up. oh, and last night he ate some pasta & sauce- with his hands, while merrily smushing it into his tray & waving his fork around.

i'm hoping its a phase relating to his teeth.

there's been no big changes or anything else i can think of. 3 weeks ago he did start cutting his top two front teeth, and when he was cutting his bottom ones he did go fussy, just not this fussy.

he has the dentist on thursday coming, i'll see if he thinks it could be related.
my mum says i was the same when teething, a right wee fusspot

ds hasn't had formula since he was 9 months old- just wouldn't drink it. hv said it was fine to just give him cows milk, he was eating such a wide variety it would be fine.

and thank you all for replies/ advice, much appreciated

ok, so my son is officially A WEE SOD

he ate a huge dinner at my mum's, no problem at all. (and half the meal involved spoon feeding)

he's playing me lol

welcome to the wonderful world of parenting. DD has fads, still and she's 7, but we just let her get on with it. No kid ever starved themselves on purpose. if you are really worried about V&M get some gummybear multivits.

Well, you are being played a bit but think we are all guilty of that at times. Like Tewkes says, he isn't going to starve himself.

Thought you might like to take a look at this book too. Have to admit that I haven't read it but we did use her sleep book and it worked very well.

Just wondered too if he has been tested for dairy intolerance. Only I had it as a baby and child and he sounds very much like I was, ie vomiting after drinking milk and refusing to drink his formula from an early age.

no, a friends wee girl has that, & it's not the same sort of symptoms (but thanks for the suggestion)

ds vomited after formula because he was drinking so much of it, his stomach couldn't handle the sheer volume of milk. as soon as he started having some solids he stopped vomiting.

and yes, he refused formula at about 9 months, but he'd begun weaning at 10 weeks, much earlier than most babies. he drank cows milk in place of formula & was fine, no vomiting whatsoever.

i'm off to look at the book link now :)

Do you eat together? That works much better - then he can "steal" your food. Plus as tiktok says, you can give little morsels but leave them on a low table at snack time (snacks are pretty important - as important as meals IMO) for him to nab on the go.

DS went through phases of eating loads then almost nothing then loads etc etc. He was still on at least 4 milk feeds a day at age 1 though so I wasn't as worried. If he takes formula, give it to him and roll your eyes at your HV.