I appear to have started weaning at 19 weeks - totally unintentional...

[BettyButterknife]

With DS1 I started BLW at 24 weeks. Loved it, worked so well for us.

DS2 is 19 weeks but massive (9lb 8 at birth, 18lb 2 now, maintaining 91st percentile). He can sit up unsupported, has lost tongue thrust thingy.

Day before yesterday DS1 and I were eating our tea, DS2 was in high chair next to us. I gave DS2 a spoon so he could join in, and he grabbed it, put it straight into his mouth, looked at us, made chewing motions and then started crying.

We were eating stewed apple with custard, and so I put a bit of the apple on his spoon and he wolfed it down. He ended up having about 20 little spoon-tip-fuls.

I feel really weird about this as I wanted to wait to do BLW with him. But he seems ready. Although he was born 19 weeks ago he was 15 days late because of an undiagnosed physiological reason, so would probably have made a much earlier appearance (like 40+3 as his older brother was) otherwise.

Anyway, I feel like I have to completely justify weaning him this early... Has anyone done more finger food type weaning before 6 months? I'd rather not go down the spoon/mush route if I can avoid it.

Hello Betty

Just had to laugh reading this, sounds just like my DS. My DS is now 19wks (i think, maybe 20 ) and was 9lb2 when he was born 10days late. He has been sitting with us during meals and getting so cross! Started grabbing at us when we eat. I gave him some banana to hold after he went mad at me - straight into his mouth. Gave him some babyrice yesterday which he loved, straight down, no spitting out. Thought i would take it slowly due to him only being 4m, but ended up giving him babyrice for dinner too.

Seeing him eating makes me feel bad that i was planning on waiting til he was 6m, as he is obviously ready, but pretty much everyone (especially on here) makes me feel guilty that i have fed him before 6m! so i totally understand the feeling of needing to justify early weaning.

TBH, even though i planned to hold off til 6m, i still researched weaning and my main aim was to go by my baby and follow his lead and it has been an informed descision. I started weaning my DD at 19m on the advice of a HV and she is a healthy 3yr old, but seeing the difference btween the two of them i think i could have held off with her in hindsight.

I have been debating this for a long time (actually from an academic angle and with my own DC's). How far do you take developmental readiness....if they can pick it up and eat it themselves does it matter how old they are? Theory is that gut and digestion matures at around 6 months in an average baby...which is the same time the average baby can sit up and feed themselves. If they can sit up early does this mean they are ready digestion wise? I just don't know.

Today DS2 managed to eat / suck / probably ingest some of my turkey sandwich. He was sitting on my lap whilst I was eating and I was absent mindedly trying to sort the other two out. I looked down and he had picked a bit up and was chewing on it . He is 19 weeks too

I weaned DS1 on BLW when he was about 19 - 20 weeks but waited until 26 weeks with DD.

I just don't know the answer to this one.

Have you seen the EAT study? It is one of the things that got me looking into it all a bit more.

TBH, it changes so constantly, what you should/shouldn't do (and yes i know that is to do with new discoveries etc) that i think if you make an 'informed' choice (rather than doing something because MIL told you to!) then there is no problem. As some posters on MN wil point out, Humans seem to be quite resiliant and have survived all sorts of parenting

My neice was crawling at 4m and despite my sister wanting to do it all 'right' there was no way that just breastmilk was enough for this baby.

I have concerns about the EAT study ... but then it must have got ethical approval .

I am holding off for now but am intrigued as to how far developmenal readiness stems

Bugger! My helpful son has just pressed a button and lost my post!!

Shortened version:

We decided not to participate in the EAT study as i wanted to wean DS when i felt he was showing signs. Not at 3m or at 6m, but at 4,5 or 6m depending on when i felt he was ready iyswim?

What annoys me most, is that you are told 'If you wean your child before 6m they WILL have an allergy' not that early weaning 'may' be linked iyswim? I lke that the EAT study is actually trying to get more research done into this, and that at the end of the day it is down to us as parents to make that judgement and descisions based on how we feel our child is doing.

So most of us know that feeding babies weetabix at 3m is not likely to do them any favours, but a bit of babyrice mixed with some breastmilk after 4m (which 3-4yrs ago was considered perfectly ok) really is pretty low risk.

If it turns out that actually i am very wrong and both my children suffer as a result then of course i will be sorry, but did what i did with their best interests at heart.

It is no wonder that people are choosing to take all the official guidlines with a pinch of salt as they tend to change every couple of years anyway. For example, peanuts in pregnancy.

Sorry, that wasn't very short and i am sorry if it comes across a bit ranty, but that is mostly so that anyone who comes across this doesn't think i am a complete dick

Started weaning both my elder two at 4 months with baby rice and then purees - as was the norm a few years back. Both in school now with no allergies of any sort.

There seems to ba an awful lot of scaremongering re weaning these days. Read up on it by all means but go with your instincts too.

Molly - you have just put what i was trying to get at much more eloquently

When I had DS1 who is now 20 he was weaned at 8 weeks on the advice of my HV

I wouldn't worry - he seems ready and I'd say go with your instincts

My 19wo DS is 20lb and 72cm long (well off the chart). He has been having baby rice made up with his milk for the last two weeks. We started because he was back to waking every 2 hours absolutely starving (after having been down to one night feed between 6pm and 6am).

He wolfs it down and grins at his bowl when we are making it up for him.

I know full well that it isn't the recommendation but there just can't be a 'recommendation' in the world that is exactly right for every single child and I honestly don't think they had my whale child in mind!

Alice - who has told you 'If you wean your child before 6m they WILL have an allergy' ?

Oh for crying out loud.

There is no need for babies to have anything but milk until they are6 months old. The vast majority of babies will be absolutely fine with solids earlier than thst, but some won't. And you have no way of knowing which sort of baby yours is. Being interested in food is no indicator - they are interested in driving cars and washing up and sawing wood at this stage too - but nobody would say it was right for them to try!

Why take the risk - however tiny - of your child having gut problems later for the sake of waiting a couple more weeks?

A particularly scary HCP We have a new team of MW/HV's (well, 'new' being they are all different from when i had DD 3yrs ago) and most are young and eveything is a bit black and white iyswim? Most are very nice and helpful though.

Tbh, most people who i have come across (that are not the HV) who are anti weaning at 4m is on MN. It has divided our ante natal group a fair bit it seems.

EBD - this is the thing isn't it? They say that the normal range of everything babies do varies so much, so why is weaning any different?

"They say that the normal range of everything babies do varies so much, so why is weaning any different?"

It isn't. But you can't tell which are the few babies that will have problems by looking at them. That's the point.

Yes, i do see your point.

The main point is - the studies that they did which led to the change in rules showed that delaying solids potentially reduced gastrointestinal and respiratory disorders and allergies. Evidence since has not always been fully supportive.

However the main point is that no study has shown there is any harm in waiting. Breastmilk has sufficient iron, zinc and other nutrients to support the baby until 6 months (and formula obviously has nutrients too).

So I think what the evidence says is that weaning earlier than 6 months may increase the risk of certain illnesses but holiding off will not cause harm .... therefore wait til 6 months.

I am still intrigued about developmental readiness but personally will wait til much closer to 6 months just because I take the view that there is no harm to waiting.

That makes a lot of sense.

Personally, by starting DS on babyrice i am more likely to keep BFing. I have had so many illnesses since having him, combined with serious lack of sleep, that it is either babyrice or formula (assuming i can get him to take a damn bottle!) But each to their own i guess.

Yes is all about balancing the situation I think. Introducing solids may increase the risk of certain things but stopping breastfeeding also increases the risk of certain things. Being so tired because you are breastfeeding all night might put you at risk of other things or make you grumpy with your other DC's.

Just like breastfeeding in the first place it is about balancing the situation for your family (as long as, IMO, your baby is over 4 months old and can sit up to eat).

I had a long debate with my HV when I was weaning DS1. He was exclusively breastfed but I was really struggling, he seemed ready (and could follow blw at 19 ish weeks). One option was formula - but cows milk is one of the most allergenic foods there is - balance this with a bit of banana...which is the right solution if you feel you cannot carry on? (by the way not saying formula = allergies). We don't understand weaning enough - lots goes into BF and older children but little into this period although things are starting to change.

Ideally weaning should be at around 6 months but we need more support for mums to do that. Personally I am being driven mad by people telling me to give baby rice or other solids as it will solve all my problems. No I dont want to do that - I would like it if you could support me by perhaps entertaining the other two for a bit, doing the washing up, holding him whilst I have a bath / pop out. I mean DH and family here by the way not people who I meet in the street...although

I must admit i have found it hard to get the right support.
All my family have been at me to give him some cereal before 4m as he was going through growth spurts every other week, but then the HV and MN are very much the other way, that i have read on here people only days off 6m worrying about starting weaning too early

For me, a bit of rice flour mixed into breastmilk may help to keep me sane, and i personally feel it is better for DS than formula, but that is just my opinion.

Ooh I was thinking of asking abut something similar.

DS is 21 weeks (but born 20 days late).

He can't quite sit completely unaided yet (well, not for more than a minute), but can hold his head up fine. Had to give him some calpol this week and he opened his mouth for it like a little baby bird , slurped it off the spoon with no poking it back out - so presumably thats the tongue-thrust reflex gone.

We are having to fight off his little hands at mealtimes (no highchair, he sits on our knees as he hates being put down). DP was eating avocado yesterday and DS was grabbing at it and singing it a little song - we stopped him from getting any though.

So... he is showing clear signs. But I feel wrong about letting him get hold of real actual food yet.

Hmmm. Am torn between holding off til 26 weeks or just plonking a bit of avocado/banana in front of him and not interfering if he gets it in his mouth.

After the BF/FF dilemma/issue, I think weaning is one of the most emotive issues I have come across on here.

I just think 6m is a guideline, you know your baby, do what you think is best.

My eldest son (18) was weaned at 8 weeks - it wasn't at all unusual then. And my mum is very fond of telling anyone who'll listen that I ate pureed bacon and egg at 2 weeks. (But she might be remembering wrong - she's a bit mad like that.)

Anyway - we are all fit and well and still alive in spite of everything.

Without commenting on anybody's individual situation, thought I'd just clarify a couple of things for good information's sake...

Size is indicative of nothing. Which percentile you were born on, which percentile you're on a 12, 16, 19, 26 weeks is nothing to do with readiness for solids.

'I did xyz and am fine' is no substitute for research and biology.

The guidelines do not change all the time. They've been 6 months for well over 7yrs and were 4-6 months for 20yrs before that.

A child looking at you eat is not a sign of readiness for solids. Waking up more and needing night feeds are not a sign.

Instincts can tell you a baby is hungry, nothing more, nothing less. Instincts do not provide a window into a child's gut.

It's so difficult and emotive. You do what you think best with the child you have allowing for recommendations of the time. The DOH leaflet is very good indeed. It isn't prescriptive, it describes the signs, dispels some myths and is balanced.

Here if you're interested.

personally as it hasn't been proved to my satisfaction that there is a risk from earlier weaning (or, if a big healthy term BF baby in a first world country is likely to take any harm from it - don't forget one baby in 1000 taking an adverse reation is sufficient for a health practitioner to advise against - regardless of whether that baby was premmy/ not thriving/ otherwise unhealthy already)) and it may also possibly increase the risk of allergies by later weaning, I have gone with the 'wean when BF becomes more of a chore than a pleasure' way of doing things.

the problem with research - it produces guidelines for millions to follow, as mothers you have only your own kids to consider.

you can EBF a baby to 6 months. but if that means having a baby at my boob all my waking hours, then i'd rather wean sooner.

so far, it has been very different for each baby.

one of the more harmful aspects of the 6 month recommendation is also that people struggling with EBF will choose to switch to formula completely believing the promise of 'helps delay weaning' in the side of he tin), rather than do BF & solids - despite this being contrary to all the evidence of the benefit of longer-term BF.

DS isn't feeding/waking anymore is the funny thing. He is in fact sleeping rather well atm [touch wood] and often only waking once between 10pm and 6am (with the exception of his recent hideous cold/growth spurt). So I don't think he is hungry as such.

But he wanted that avocado, and if we hadn't distracted him with a very interesting egg box he'd have grabbed it and had it in his mouth (as it was, he ate some of the egg box instead )