Gift bag ideas for aircrew on our first flight to Spain

[ToffeePennie]

Hi all,
I am definitely overthinking things but we go on our first flight to Spain in a few weeks. I have an autistic husband and older child (both with scoliosis) and an 8 year old with ADHD. Due to the severity of these conditions I put in a welfare form with Tui, and we are travelling from Manchester airport.
I thought it would be nice to give little gift bags to the aircrew (my brother used to be a flight attendant) to say thank you because I know they work super hard and having to deal with my family will be a lot. I was thinking maybe hand cream, foot cream or lip balms? Any other ideas welcome!

Medicated? My kids don’t take any kind of medication. Autism and ADHD can’t be “fixed” with a pill….

The idea of wishing to thank them is nice but really they could do without lip balm and handcream.

Get the names of the flight crew on both outward and return and when you are back write to Tui saying that Hayley, Gemma, John and Mike looked after your family amazingly well and you would like them to be recognised for their kindness/patience/professionalism or whatever.

Put your energies into prepping the kids for what to expect on the flight and how you’ll manage any meltdowns, this is more useful that gifts for staff, they’re just doing their jobs.

Don't you have to put creams into the carry on little plastic bag to govthrough security? I think some airports have stopped doing that but do they all do that?

You sound very kind and thoughtful.
But I agree a gift isn’t necessary. Do whatever you usually do on the flight to keep your family happy and calm. Thank the crew and speak respectfully to them, just as one always would.
Afterwards, I agree a thank-you card that can be displayed would be a nice gesture, as would an email to HQ to express your appreciation for the service .

Some Americans have this idea that bringing random fridge magnets, baseball caps, bracelets and keyrings to Scotland from their home state is just the most "darling" little gift which every tour guide and hotel receptionist will treasure for ever and ever. Not just chuck it straight in the bin.

So wasteful.

Would you even be able to get the creams through security?

Weird idea OP, just thank them.

And your DS absolutely could be medicated for ADHD if you wanted him to be so I don't think that was a weird comment by a PP tbh.

Focus your energy on limiting the difficult behaviour they might have to deal with. What will help regulate your children? Focus on that.

My son absolutely cannot be medicated for ADHD. He has gastro-reflux and it’s difficult to get food into him, much less medication. His stomach literally cannot handle it.

@ToffeePennie ive taken a bag of individual wrapped chocolates for the flight crew on a long haul when flying over Christmas but that’s it (like a bag of quality streets)

You must have been on my brothers flight! Someone bought some mini bags of sweets with them and all the air crew ate them on their breaks during the flight. He was really appreciative.

I want to give them a little “I’m sorry my kids are both neuro-divergent and I hope this can make it up a little bit”

Why would you be apologising for your children being ND? They exist and have a right to travel. You’re sorry? Nope!

Make your children feel as comfortable as they can, deal with any issues as well as you can, be polite and say thank you to staff or anyone else who helps you, as everyone should anyway.

You don’t need to be sorry that your children are ND.

Very much second the advice that what the crew would probably appreciate most (other than you maximising your onboard purchases 😬) would be a letter/e-mail to head office...

Even if you can't get crew names a letter praising the crew of "flight XXX" on date YY or whatever should find it way to the right places.

There are times when having a nice letter on your file can be a good thing.😉

.

This 👆🏻100%

Ah - I was thinking how lovely you sounded and then you wrote this. My lovely brother takes medication to manage his ADHD so that he can hold down his job, which he is exceptional at. Fortunately, unlike some people, he is mature enough to understand that although his neurodivergence can’t be ‘fixed’ with tablets, they can and do help him manage it in a way which makes life and work much more successful for him.

By all means, you do you. But please don’t make it seem as if needing to take medication is some kind of failing. 😡

To be fair some children with ADHD do take medication for it, and scoliosis might require pain management?

I think your energy needs to go into preparing them for the journey, be that through visual stories, videos etc, anticipating what might prevent a meltdown and what might help if it does happen. I'd be thinking more about the other passengers, some of whom may also be ND, not the crew.

Please don't apologise to the aircrew for your neurodivergent family's existence. Think about the message that doing so gives to your ND children about their worth in the world.

Do:

• Explain to your children what flying involves, including having to have items x-rayed and having to stay in the seat during take-off and landing.
• Ask your children to help you pack an under-seat bag each of things that will help them stay regulated during the flight.
• Get your children used to sensory filters, such as ear defenders and sunglasses, that they can use to take the edge off the lights and noise.
• Let them run around in baggage reclaim once you land, as long as they keep clear of the clusters of people waiting around the carousel.
• Thank the aircrew and airport staff. This isn't the same as apologising for existing.
• Arrive in plenty of time for your flight so that you have time to take breaks.
• Make a list of all the steps (baggage drop-off, check-in, security, wait, get on plane) for your eight year old to carry on the day and tick each one off as it happens.

@ToffeePennie
I am completely against your idea to be honest.
You have a need, extra help and consideration during your journey. You as a family will do your very best to make things go as smoothly as possible for everyone involved.
That’s sufficient.
Giving gifts to people doing their job, or god - forbid smug little apology in advance letters from babies to the rest of the passengers is really something that annoys me.

The risk with this nonsense is that the more people do it, the more those who don’t look “less bothered about others” when it simply isn’t the case.

Just as an example. In much of the world, most children’s parties don’t include any specific entertainment, no paid for activities and definitely no party bags. Strangely enough the children have the same amount of fun with much less stress.

Maybe a gift card for amazon as some have previously said they have access to duty free beauty products xx

Rather than gift bags for attendants do gift bags for your children.

Get Grandad to write notes/record a video for the flight. Distraction can help ADHD, what are your children’s attention spans? Take a small gift/activity/book etc and produce a different thing every 20/30/40 mins (whatever the attention span is). you don’t need to spend a lot of money but the novelty of new stuff helps.

as per PP practice the journey, make it fun, use your sofa as the plane seats, pretend to be a pilot, pretend to be cabin crew and use a tray etc etc

I agree.

Reasonable humans accept that babies exist and sometimes cry. A "sorry about my baby" note doesn't make your child quieter nor my flight more pleasant. You doing everything you can to keep your baby fed, rested, changed, and entertained to minimise the crying will make my flight more pleasant.

@ToffeePennie that might be perfect, how about a book with you all about the physics of flight (or printed off internet) so he can be cross referencing during the flight.

managed to keep my difficult one content for hours “searching” for the balloon she lost 2 weeks earlier. I also took bags of yogurt covered raisins, like catnip for her.

I have had a few medical investigations over the last 12 months and I have taken biscuits to most of them.

Maybe that would work. I bought Foxes because their packs have a lot of variety.

Who doesn't like biscuits?

I was highly amused by one radiographer who I swear channelled a labrador to shout, "biscuits? You brought us biscuits?"

Re the gift bags: no, don’t be daft.
But tell us about the foot creams.

Just thank them nicely

As someone with a disability I feel distinctly uncomfortable with the idea we should have to tip or give gifts to people for helping us to fly