HELP/ADVICE please

[FortnamsTea]

Have not been abroad for 25 years. 3 years ago had a holiday booked & Dc1 became seriously ill just before (icu for 5 days). Lost 50% of costs. Booked again via travel agent to go last wk Jan.
Dc2 (ASD) wants to formally change 1st name. Can either pay for that change with airline, travel agent & new passport (£330) or change dates (£650). Clearly changing docs is cheaper but I'm worried about timescales & being stopped at gate as need deed poll, then passport (4 wks) then unhelpful travel agent & Ryanair to cooperate.

I appreciate that a holiday issue is a bit of a 1st world problem but after 25 years & last time I just wanted this to be straightforward not it feeling 'doomed'.

What would happen if you just said it can't be done? I would not risk it for all the reasons you have stated. There isn't time.I am sorry to hear you lost 50% of costs last time. Why did your travel insurance not cover your losses?

Have you explained this to DC? Will they be willing to wait until you get back. Maybe agree to use the new name for now without documentation

Tell them that is fine, it will all be done after the holiday.

@OvalframesI took out 'silver'not 'gold' insurance which only allowed 50% compensation even in the circumstances. @BarbaraUsher @cuddlebear Dc2 saying will not travel under their 'old name' (cant be left alone for 7 days)l possibly do a deed poll beforehand). They are 19, very Autistic & I'm doing all I can to support them but it would help if they could wait 6 weeks.

Sorry, app playing up for Ed. Basically I can't leave rhem, so it's lose cost of whole hols (£2k). OR pay £650. OR pay £330 but still worry about admin cock ups. OR persuade them. Part of their ASD diagnosis is PDA (so not easy to persuade in any way). FML.

Why do they want to change their first name? Asking as it might help to come up with some reasons to persuade them to wait.

@Yorkshirelass50 because they don't want to be a girl, they want to be a boy. So, deed poll, 1st name change (but frilly girly middle names remain). I want to support them, o/c their feeling matter more than a holiday but, it's only 6 weeks more to wait.

Tell them it’s not possible to change in time for this holiday but it will be done as soon as you are back.

Would they really ruin the holiday by refusing to come? I would call their bluff and tell them they would have to stay with (insert name of person they wouldn’t want to stay with) if they don’t come.

@cuddlebearThey might well yes! Or they might leave home etc. Not wanting to escalate things but equally 'please wait 6 weeks' is not unreasonable.

Could you give some incentive, i.e. if they wait you can arrange a party to celebrate their new name after you've returned home (using some of the money you would have spent on changing the tickets).

Offer them the cost? Eg. If you wait until after the holiday I'll give you the £500 it would cost. Effectively finding out if it would be worth it if they were paying.

Just to clarify, I don't mean by tricking them. I would much rather see my child enjoying a £500 holiday spending money bonus than pay an admin fee.

That’s a really good idea! Would that work OP?