Not really sure what I want from this but writing it down anyway! Been feeling low for a number of years really. Feel indifferent to my marriage. We are like civil colleagues. Don't argue. Just don't do anything together or talk about anything. I don't want to sleep with him anymore. He never initiates anything and so on it goes. His life is work so perhaps I've felt I've had to remove myself because it has always come first for him and he is so often just not emotionally available. He's been the least available partner emotionally. He's very practical and provides tons of that but emotional support not so much. Or not even support, he's just not very communicative and so I've also closed down. Anyway so there is that. I'm also struggling with finding meaningful work. I seem to have an issue with being unable to make decisions. I think I've always been like this but it's become so pronounced as I hit mid 40s. Not that I had a brilliant career but it all went downhill after kids and what with my husbands job being so inflexible I've always had to be the flexible one. Now kids heading toward secondary and I'm wondering what next? I feel very low in confidence. I've had a few interviews but nothing come of it. Freelance work has dried up and I feel quite invisible which doesn't help with the confidence issue. I was on anti depressants but came off about a year ago. Went to the dr as was becoming increasingly tearful and anxious and am trying hrt. My moods definitely fluctuate but still don't know if I'm just hormonal, depressed or just shit at coping with what life throws at me! I don't know how to get out of this rut.