Financial dilemma

[firstworlddilemma1]

Having a financial crisis. DS 16 is sport mad and has an opportunity to go to Germany for possibly a year and if all goes well then for longer. DD attends ballet school in London (any ballet mums on here will know which one). We have had to remortgage our home a few years ago to get both children on the training they want. We have nothing left. DD has selective mutism and has never spoken to anyone in school, wider family not even her ballet teacher but she loves to dance. She’s amazing and truthfully she’s a better dancer than her sister was at her age and she is more dedicated. It’s all she does. She can’t open the fridge without a ballet step etc.
she has an audition this month and her ballet teachers has said the only way she won’t get in is if she doesn’t turn up.
Problem is we really have nothing left. Apart from starting an only fans which trust me no one would want to view me the only option I can think of is selling the house and finding a 2 bed flat for me and DH and when the kids are with us the girls will have to share a room and my son will have to sleep on the sofa. Is that really awful? If all goes well none of them would technically be back with us full time but if all doesn’t go to plan we could end up with three kids back full time in a 2 bed flat. Any ideas welcome

She’s 11

I was thinking more if the DS was at the Bayern Munich academy or similar! 😄

Yes DS should be well within the money but the girls won’t be but life doesn’t have to be all about the money

I’d try and make it work, sounds like your son is on a good path - dd2 should be given the same opportunity at least.

Could you move away from London, so that you still had enough room? Being cramped in a flat seems a recipe for stress and discontent.
Ordinarily I’d say simply tell the kids no, you can’t afford it, but given you found the money for the first child you are obligated to treat the others the same, I think. It does seems like a lack of planning but I suppose we all act with the best of intentions and not necessarily realising we’ll be on the hook for all three.

I think so too

I agree. I just didn’t think that they were all going to be ‘that good’. When they were all 4,5,6,7 etc everyone would comment on how good they are but I’d just brush it off as yes they are amazing in this little pond but they have all committed themselves and got better and better. Talking with DH and he said he’s spoken to his colleagues and they talked about getting a lodger or two so could potentially get 2 lodgers in while the older too board away and see if youngest settles. Then If she does then we could consider moving out of London and keep the bedrooms. I didn’t think to move out of London simply because we need to see if youngest settles heat settles there first but obviously couldn’t do that without more money. Ahh so many things to think about

(any ballet mums on here will know which one)

Been there, got the t-shirt and I can't figure out which one.

I really don't think it's fair for your son to not have a bedroom or a proper bed. He is only 16...he needs a proper base to call home and being relegated to a settee is not that. So far its only a year in Germany so fa , surely he will visit for holidays and what about after that if he does want to return home?

Not sure what the answer is, but I don't think a home where your 16 year old son doesn't have a place is the right thing to do

im scared to say until she’s in.

Ahh I know I agree. This is very difficult. I’m thinking about lodgers while DS and DD are away. Get through the first year and if he doesn’t come back then that gives us more time and if he does then the lodgers will have to go and pray DD2 is settled and we can move out of London and keep the bedrooms

I have an incredibly talented young sportsperson who is now professional, we didn't have to pay anything beyond the age of 8. Parents need to beware of people ripping them off with the promise of opportunities, especially abroad.

Well we can rule out RBS then as they are no longer taking pupils in for years 7 or 8 any more, and she'll be too young for Y9.

If you can find a suitable lodger that could be a great solution. Consider a Monday-Friday perhaps, it was pretty common though wfh may have reduced the market

Please read the thread

I’ll let you know privately when we find out if she’s in or not 🤞

Good point. Lots to think about

I would guess White Lodge

My post was deleted but Constance Bristoe is worth looking up, lots of people helped.

Think I’ve got the name wrong but a ballet dancer called Constance whose mum crowdfunded, basically

To me selling your home to finance dance classes, no matter how prestigious the school is, sounds bobbins, but you also sound like a wonderful and supportive mother and whatever happens with their potential careers, you have already given them the very best gift.
Good luck to them and to you, OP.

Selling your home, a roof over you and kids heads is insane and downsizing to the extent of sleeping on a sofa is madness

I get you want to treat all 3 the same but you can’t afford it

I assume it's the school in SB? I dont think RBS takes y7 now. I think I know someone in y9 there!

What age did your elder DD start vocational school? I was a professional (non ballet) dancer and the career is short, pay is shit and a lot of vocational schools aren't that good for academics.

Is dd1 graduating soon?

I might sell my home for Eton but not ballet school, I know sooo many people who were kicked out of the RBS and precisely nobody who got into the company.....