Advice - missing 8th day of year 7!

[Awcw1234]

Looking for some advice and opinions!

My youngest daughter starts high school next year, and a close family member has booked their wedding for what will be her 8th day of secondary school. My other child will also be starting Year 9.

I'm conscious that my youngest would be missing a day of school so early on in her transition to high school, when she's still settling in, making friends and getting used to a completely new environment.

The wedding is also on a Monday, so I'm conscious that both children will probably be tired the following day, even though we plan to travel home the same evening.

Would you take your children out of school for the day in these circumstances, or would you feel it's too soon after starting a new school year? Unfortunately we have no childcare as everyone will be attending the wedding!

Ex high school teacher here- yes she’ll be fine. You’re worrying over nothing.

One day won’t hurt, you’re way over thinking this.

I think it depends on how much you like the relative! If it was someone I liked and was close with I wouldn’t give it a second thought. They will manage being tired the next day.

Nope.

If it was my family, Id go and DH would stay at home with the kids.

But then I live 2.5hrs drive from my nearest family, so no way we'd be at school /witk yhe following morning, which probably skews my answer.

So, how far away is the wedding?

I don’t think it will harm her long term. Personally, I wouldn’t do it. If it were my sister getting married, I would go to the wedding alone and leave the DC with their dad.

It is a sibling’s wedding. Worried about upsetting them if it is just me who attends 😔
We could ask my MIL to look after the kids (so both me and my husband can attend) but that would mean asking her to make a 400 mile round trip to our house!

Oh, and the wedding is around 1.5 hours away x

Just take her. It’s fine.

I would do what you feel is best for you and your children. If you have a child already in the school, you will know what the school is like about absences.

The sibling will need to accept your decision.

Is there a reason they chose to get married on a Monday in term time, when they wanted school age children to attend?

To get what we wanted, at the venue we wanted, we had a weekday wedding. Our wedding was therefore during the half term, because our flowergirl was in school and a relative is a teacher.

I assume it is because Mondays are significantly cheaper.

@Awcw1234 Presumably your relative booked this for a Monday with their eyes open. I wouldn't take my children out of school for it, and I would expect my relative to understand that and, frankly, expect it. As they want to save money, then reducing the number of guests at the event is one way to do it.

I would just go myself. If the logistics worked, then I might get my husband to drive over with the kids after school so they could attend the evening event.

Well, you’d think so considering he has children from a previous marriage that are all school age! The bride also has school age children.

Unfortunately it is a 3 hour round trip so coming just after school isn’t ideal really!

Not ideal, but better than missing school.

If they leave at 3 they can be at the wedding by 4.30pm, perhaps stay until 8.30pm, and nap on the drive home. That way, you've made an effort without compromising a day of school.

I do wonder what people would think if their children's teacher took a Monday off to get married and they had a supply teacher instead.

It’s ok not to take the children when the date is so awkward.

Thanks for the responses. I think I’m going to go on my own. Doesn’t feel right taking the kids out of school a week into the new school year. Hoping it doesn’t offend/upset him 😩

Just out of curiosity, why choose a Monday instead of the weekend? Is it purely to cut venue costs for the couple? It feels like the hosts save money, but the working guests pay the price by having to take a day off or take their kids out of school.

It will be because Mondays are much cheaper. Weekends are expensive.

If they have done it on a day that some guests can't make, in order to save money, then they have to accept that those guests won't be there.

For us there was a discount for a Thursday instead if a Friday or Saturday, but the main reason for choosing it was what the venue could offer us. To have a Friday or Saturday we needed to leave by 6pm or have an evening function for 100+. We wanted to be able to spend time with family in the evening, but didn't want to have a disco etc. The Thursday meant we could have the function we wanted. There weren't many children, and all except our flower girl were pre-school age - but we still chose school holidays.