I feel physically sick at how much grandparents spending on Christmas

[Sadiuit]

My mum let slip that she’s budgeting £250 per child for Christmas. They’ve already picked up a long list of things, so we’re talking lots of toys in the £10–£30 range, plus bits and bobs from B&M, rather than one or two bigger presents each. If they’d told me they wanted to spend that much on the children, I could have suggested one or two larger items that we actually wanted or needed. Instead, I’m now facing the prospect of an absolutely ridiculous number of individual items coming into our house. I posted before about my mum and the B&M 2 for £20 toys, and it’s going to be £500 worth of that sort of stuff. I genuinely feel physically sick thinking about it!

Honestly, have a talk with her. It’s over 2 months until Xmas, so there’s plenty of time to take stuff back for a refund.

Obviously say you appreciate the sentiment. But maybe suggest that there are things you need, and help towards them would be invaluable and very much appreciated. And that, out of what they want to spend, then a nominal amount could be spent on surprise stuff.

is it too late to ask her to return them and get something you need instead? If so ask her to stagger the presents over the year, open and keep them at her house. Get her to use her to use the rest of her budget on something you need that the kids can open on Xmas or pick one or two things from the B&M pile.

I’d feel sick too - not just all the plastic waste but how spoiled and overwhelmed the kids would be with a massive pile that drowns out the more well thought out presents.

That feels so wasteful, I would have to be firm about it being X amount of items max.

I say this as a grandparent with a similar budget for DGC however firstly we spoke to their parents and asked what bugger ticket item they would prefer etc. We have got them:
Balance bike £69
Bike helmet £30
Waterproof dungarees and jacket £40
3 x tonies £45 and matching books to read along £24
Pyjamas x 2 £26 and slippers £14

Not only too much but where the hell would you keep all that..

That’s would be an absolute no from me. No to the influx of plastic crap, no to the waste of money. Ridiculous. If the budget is that large, what about some money to contribute to days out, a theatre trip, cinema trip, membership to something etc etc. or something that they actually need. Put your foot down now!

Tell her, tell her all your reasons. She can take it back. That's craziness

Just tell her you don’t have the space for all those plastic toys. My in laws were like this at first but we just had to keep reinforcing that we don’t have the space

I think it’s awful aswell . Far better to buy 2 or 3 well chosen gifts and put the balance in their savings account for when they’ll really need it later on .

That’s a ridiculous amount of money for toys
on top of what else they would also get . Especially just bits and bobs . Surely you can explain it to her.

You have to say something or else you face years of this. How warped is her thinking to do this?

The space it will all take up, the waste when it all breaks or they get bored of it all.

With that amount of money she could buy a smaller amount of things to open, and annual passes to a local attraction so you can take them for days out and possibly give money for their savings accounts.

Fast forward 15 years and instead of an enormous pile of landfill they could have had loads of fun days out and a chunk of money towards driving lessons, university etc.

You could also tell her that whatever she buys will have to stay at her house as you don't have room for it.

We have exactly the same situation, last year it was oncene the number of presents at it was far to many for them to enjoy- even opening them took ages. We have given a 5 gift limit this year! Let's see it it works.

That is silly and ask her to put it towards somethibg useful or a gift voucher....is she bored and loves to shop! .

I wouldn’t be happy either. How about asking her if she would put the money towards something like a Disney trip instead? Or whatever you think your children would like as an experience.

have a feeling she won’t budge though :(

Thank DGP for their generosity.
Insist that it is too generous and not sustainable for the planet nor for your home storage. And that one or two gifts each is enough.
Give ideas ...
Remind DGP of collections/sets that can be added to.
Suggest a family yearly pass to a zoo or museum.
Suggest a term of swimming lessons etc
Inform them of any super large combined gift to which they may contribute.

Remember to ask children to donate 10 toys to the thrift shop about now.

In my experience the more presents the less DC value them. Also many are left unopened beyond the wrapping paper, and I would put in cupboard pending trip to charity shop. As others have said, you need to have a conversation regarding how she can spend the money so your children will appreciate it, either now or in the future.

This touched a nerve hasn’t it. It’s not about the grandparents, it’s not their child. They are only thinking about themselves. Over buying crap shit that the kids don’t want or need! It gets to a point where there’s too much stuff and it’s not appreciated anymore. What’s wrong with you lot that you can’t see it? It’s so bloody wasteful. Bet you didn’t have all that growing up! No one needs that many toys!

Another suggestion if she wants to buy piles of toys is that she could buy some for food bank toy appeals so instead of your DC having more than they could ever play with, the children who would otherwise have nothing get a gift or two. Would she be on board with that?

In addition, councils often have toy collections for their social services departments at Christmas, you could suggest that.

I understand that they are their DGC and they want to spoil them, but that is ridiculous.

How old are your DC? They could be overwhelmed by that number of presents.

Could they buy one large present eg a trampoline or a play house for the garden, or an outdoor table tennis table, or a basketball net. Or a Switch, or Kindles. Annual tickets to a local attraction is a great idea too. As is contributing to a savings account for the.
And then a few smaller presents to unwrap (someone upthread mentioned a 5 gift limit).

Yes it's lovely to spoil kids sometimes, but what they're planning is too much. The magic of Christmas isn't just about a mountain of gifts, it's spending time together as an extended family too.

Good luck OP.

where are you having Christmas? If you’re going to there’s I’d say let the kids unwrap them have a lovely time playing with them and then when it’s time to go home say “pick one toy to bring home, these are the grandmas house toys, the rest stay here”, they can swap the toy on their next visit.

My in laws gave some money as well as toys last year and we bought a pass to a local park place for days out. It has kept us entertained all year! Would your mum consider something like that instead?

Could you tactfully suggest that some could go to a food bank/ refuge/ charity? That way some kids will get the joy of playing with them (and your house will not be full of tat.)

When I was growing up, my parents knew someone who used to go and build playgrounds for orphanages in Eastern Europe, and we'd give extra toys to him to take with him!

My dad gave all his grand children a cheque each year. His thoughts were they would have enough gifts anyway and a cheque put away for their future was more worthwhile.

I should imagine they want to do it because they enjoy the shopping and choosing. I’d give them a list of stuff you’d like but If they ignore suggestions I’d let them get on with it, but I’d say that you don’t have room and don’t want that much did so she’ll have to keep the majority of it at her house for them to use when they are there. Not worth stressing about. If she insists you keep everything, then just see which the kids like best and give the rest away to charity. If she realises then just say you said you didn’t want it all and she ignored what you’ve said so, so be it.