My Yard is a Viper’s Pit!

[Moanranger]

Just moved to a new yard; I was warned about back-biting beforehand, but I am finding it truly is as title! A shame, nice yard, great facilities, great hacking.
I tend to keep my head down & avoid the snakes, but why are people like this? So negative & vicious? I honestly don’t get it.
Anyone else have this?

I’ve just gotten back into the equestrian world after 20 plus years out of it and back when I was a teenager it was always bitchy and nasty only difference is now as an adult when I am in a position to be able to get my own horse again I’ll be vetting the yards as much as they vet you.
I think all you can do is keep your head down don’t get dragged into bitching games with any of them don’t talk bad of anyone behind their back as you know they always have a way of getting back to the person that way you can’t be accused of doing or saying something if it gets bad are there any other livery’s close by that you could go and view or any highly recommend.

@FunkyMonks Thanks for the advice, more or less what I am planning to do. I scratch my head about why the pettiness? Perhaps these are people with very little going on in their lives & yard issues become overly important - on one level it is sad & I feel sorry for them, to a point! And I absolutely agree re joining in , in any way or form. I actually don’t know any of them, but continuing to keep my head down.

I really don’t understand what it is about yards that seems to bring out the worst in people!?

I’ve only been on 2 yards, one was bitchy, but quite subtle and I only shared there so no “skin in the game”.
My current yard I just lucked out! Zero bitchiness and lovely supportive people. The odd sharp comment to the yard owner on the whatsapp group but nothing major.

Sorry that is in no way helpful OP, are you going to move yards?

Honestly OP I think it’s the best you can do is ignore and not get dragged into any of the mind games and perhaps look for another yard.
I love horses and being around them and in an ideal world if I had the money to buy my own land I would have my own stables my own horses with no one else there, happy with the knowledge that I wouldn’t be dealing with nasty personalities ever again.
I have never understood the toxicity in the sport/hobby how catty and horrid some can be when surely we should all be helping one another out caring for these wonderful animals.

I run my own yard at home, and I will not stand for drama. My yard is super chilled out and everyone just generally gets on with their own thing. They are here to enjoy their horses. They don't need to be best friends, but everyone gets along and helps eachother out if needed.
If anyone starts being funny with other people then they are out. I'm too old to deal with that shit, and I don't think my liveries should have to put up with it either.

@britnay Totally agree that, and that is how previous yards operated. It’s very effective as s**t stirrers know there are consequences. This yard is organised in a rather confusing way, and as a result there is separate management & separate owner. Not great! I have pretty good conflict management skills & don’t use yard as a replacement for friendship or a social life.

Go onto YouTube and look up a channel called The Bad Livery. You’re not alone.

I’m the same now after 20+ years on yards - head down and cautious of anyone I don’t know. Any hint of bitchiness/nastiness etc and I’ll back off immediately. It only takes one person to ruin everything unfortunately.

However, I will go out of my way to help out and look after the nice normal people, especially the younger ones. Or anyone who appears vulnerable for whatever reason because life can be shit at times. I think it’s important to be there for people as well x