Under horsing DD

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I posted a few weeks back about our current pony being poorly and we're going to giver her some time off to rest and re-cooperate icirca 1 year( and decided to buy DD another horse in the meantime with the hope that they can both be in work and I'll ride which ever one my daughte chooses not too.

My daughter really lost her confidence a year and half ago and our current pony +a 14h gypsy cob) has been amazing and building it back up. She is naturally quite cautious and I am worried about buying something that knocks her confidence again. Likewise I am not a dare devil.

My DD likes cobs)cob types as it makes her feel safe. I also think it works quite well for a mother daughter share.
Been to look at a few and saw one yesterday that we really liked.
He seems kind and genuine and just quite chilled.

I've showed videos to our instructor who thinks my daughter needs more of a step up than he is.and that she'll get bored etc. We chatted it through which culminated in her saying if my daughter felt safe then get him but now I'm confused.

My thought is that it's easier to whizz a piny up a bit than it is to try and calm one down. . I also don't have a bottomless pit of money and he is within budget. I've not seen anything else suitable within budget.

There are literally 00s of grey Connie's for sale but they are £12-£16k which is out of budget. My daughter has ridden two of her friends Connie's and didn't love the build but I realise they vary a lot.

I also think we weren't really planning to buy a pony now and planned to have a couple more years on our current pony before stepping up so in some ways it is a repeat purchase as we still want the same thing.

Current pony is unsellable now so I wonder if we buy this other one and if DD want a step up in a few years we sell him and get one then.

Am I mad for potentially under horsing her?

I’ve had horses forever, and have done a lot of instructing.
It is always better to be massively under horsed than slightly overhorsed. Confidence issues can compound very very quickly. And you then end up only riding in walk and trot, in one side of the arena and it gets worse and worse as the horse gets fed up and bored of this.
I’ve rarely seen someone genuinely overhorsing themselves go well. Usually ends with a rider who’s terrified and a horse being sold for a fraction of what it was sold for for someone to unpick the problems that have been created but being ridden/handled by someone scared of it.
If she feels safe on the cob get the cob.

Id personally not get a slightly nervous child a Connie, I think they are the border collies of the horse world, they are very very clever and I think without the right rider/set up can get quite tricky, several I know (including mine!!!) are quite sharp. They also have been bred in huge numbers to meet demand which I think meant that quality control has gone out of the window, and I know that several seem to have soundness issues (admittedly more in the “overheight” category, where they seem to have been bred for size over anything else).

I have same background as @Lastqueenofscotland2 and I completely agree with her.

There is a lot that can be done to help a 'plod' to sharpen up but a pony that's already a bit sharp will frighten your daughter quite quickly.

I recommend this book. I found it really helpful.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Cobs-Can-Omar-Rabia/dp/0851319769

Thank you. Yes what yous describe is pretty much what happened to my DD. Ended up just walking in a 20m circle at one end of the school.
.it took nearly a year to rebuild her confidence and even at the trial yesterday she didn't want to jump as she didn't know him. I'm fine with that.

Bless her she's gets ike an adrenaline rush when she gets nervous and it makes her feel light headed. It used to happen quite often but bit by bit it's subsided as her confidence has built up. I think if it goes wrong this time she will give up riding.

There are soooo many Connie's for sale or 4 year old cobs off the boat from Ireland🤷🏻‍♀️

Sounds perfect with your DD’s needs the. If she’s happy doing what she’s doing I don’t know why she’d need a step up. Connie’s can be quirky and sharp. They are also very clever and learn quickly if their rider isn’t sure, if your daughter doesn’t feel comfortable on the build in the first place then I’d say it’s a no go. Just get something safe and steady. It will sharpen up if you get it nice and fit so gradually as they get to know one another. Your instinct is right imo

I agree with others that it's certainly easier and more damaging to over horse than under, and if she likes him and feels safe on him that is the most important thing.

That being said, as a cob lover and someone that's had several, I would just add that cobs aren't necessarily the problem free, automatic dope on a rope confidence givers some people (not saying you OP) make them out to be. Cobs can be just as sensitive, sharp, anxious, health problem prone etc as warmbloods and probably are more liable to the dodgy dealer / bad start in life than more expensive/carefully bred horses so don't skip your vetting and due diligence steps just because it's a cob. And it is possible to cause or exacerbate confidence problems by buying the apparently safe easy cob option, I've seen it happen. What you have to remember is that cobs are not physically or conformationally suited for higher levels of ridden activities, so if your DD is wanting to jump or event or dressage she needs to be very understanding that it will be more difficult for this cob than if she was to have a different type of horse. I know perfectly well cobs can do things like changes and jump 90cm and go round XC clear in the time, I've done all these things on my cobs but I know full well how much extra time and patience and training it took to get them there where being realistic it would have been 10 times easier on a horse bred for the job, and I'm just not sure many teenagers have the knowledge and patience for that. And what can happen where you have a somewhat nervous child and a cob operating at the very edge of it's ability in things like jumping (which is not always super high), if small mistakes are made, bad stride or rider drops the hands before the jump, whatever, you will get stops and so on, not because the cob is bad natured but a horse with more natural ability can just afford to be more generous and use its scope to go off a long one or whatever - some children then get into the vicious cycle of confidence loss.

But, all that said, your DD may be quite happy just pottering and hacking and doing low level stuff, many many people are and if you aren't on the sort of yard or PC where she'll be encouraged to compare herself to others or want to be doing more all the time it can work out very well. And if the cob is a genuine bombproof confidence giver then there'll always be a market for him if she does eventually want to graduate onto a more competitive horse so I'd say go for it...

DD is still very much low level at the moment.

For her doing a 50cm clear round is a big deal and would probably rather go somewhere to start at the 40cm and if she feels ok then step up to 50cm.

We did 'xc' on our current pony but DD happily stuck to the 40cm little jumps. Wouldn't even attempt the ditch or steps as they looked different.

The video of this horse show him poottling round a xc of about 60 with plenty of scope to spare. Straight into the water no drama etc. He's steady which is what DD likes. ..so I think in the jumping side there will be plenty of runway for DD to progress with and do lots on him up to his limit
There are some competitive kids at the yard but after dds experience at the beginning of last year she sticks with her own friends and has fun so I don't think there'll be any pressure there.

The main issue our instructor had was that he wasn't in an outline. DD didn't ask him to but I could see there were elements of him starting to drop his head as she rode him forward etc
He had nice transitions. Our instructor likes them really off the leg and we've improved our current pony a lot so I think we have bits to work with with him.

He was really polite with handling picking up feet etc.

This is him going over the tiny jump which I put up in case DD wanted to have a go (which she didn't)

Honestly, it doesn't matter if she never wants to jump higher than 40cm or whatever. Rather get something that she can feel safe on, and get back into enjoying riding. And if that's just a loose rein hack at a walk, then so be it. Not everyone needs to jump or compete :)

I’ve bought 2 young horses in the last few years unseen from Ireland and I would err on the side on caution with it too.

Pros: they both have wonderful “sure I’ll give that a go” attitudes, they are often very well exposed to hacking, farm traffic, dogs etc and expected to just get on with it.

Cons: the way they were backed has been forward over absolutely everything else, so it took a lot of work to get them to calm down, not anticipate transitions up, and they could be very tense.
Oh and they were both not the size I thought I was getting. One is a good hand bigger and the other a good hand smaller!
On the flip side, especially for Connie’s, some of the producers over there ride SO well and SO correctly they come over and get a bit upset by a rider who has a flappy/nervous/unbalanced moment

it’s a great way of getting more for your money (especially in this market) but again, probably not the right move for a nervous child.

If you daughter likes him I’d go with it.
At the end of the day the pony is going to be hers to enjoy. Not your instructors!

is there no option to do a part share with another child while your own pony recuperates? The parents may appreciate the help (care wise and financially)?

otherwise in a year you'll end up with two happy hackers, a (now) confident child wanting a jumper or whatever, and youll be paying for three.

Then in just a few years she will be away to uni. You'll be doing the three of them. she will have found boys and have a part time job filling her spare time…….

my pony was in his 30s when he died. it’s a long time for you to pay for three field ornaments!

He looks a lovely stamp and not the hairy cob I’d pictured. Our little cob happily pops round ‘90’s and wins against big horses. You’d have never believed it from the backwards and green young horse we bought though for my 2 then novice dc, they’ve grown together and he’s never given them a fright. He’d be reluctant to break out of walk but is now a little machine who has pony raced and flys round an 80 xc. We’re still working on him going on a contact - it’s not an over night fix 😅 but getting there slowly, it’s not his natural way of going. I think there is plenty scope for DD’s progression and unless height is an issue she may never out grow him. Not everyone wants to jump round badminton or do BS !

He sounds perfect , and looks lovely . FWIW we, my sister and I , have now owned for 45+ years continually and my sister likes a slow cob and always has , she has absolutely no interest and never has in doing anything whizzy . Nothing wrong with enjoying a safe horse .

It sounds like DD is looking for a pony she can bond with, care for & be a best friend to. Rather than one that's 'going to take her up the levels'

If it's what she wants & makes her happy then is there a need for her to have more advanced riding.

I'd find a different instructor & have the pony that suits DD

He looks a super stamp of a horse, and agreeing with all the other posters, way better underhorsed than over horsed.

Whatever makes her feel safe is what she will progress on. Ok, his absolute limit might be 60cm - but if she’s too scared to even canter let alone jump on her new scopey Connie, the height the Connie can jump is completely irrelevant. Plus you’ll then have a highly intelligent animal who’s bored and that will create a whole host of other issues.

If she loves him, and you like him and can afford him, buy him.

He's lovely. I pictured something different aswell