Realistically what would you do with this mare?

[dafgirly]

I have 5 horses which I shared with my mum but she suddenly and shockingly died last week. I’m still reeling about this and trying to be realistic about approaching winter with them all on my own. I also work 2 jobs and have a toddler. My mum lived on site and helped out loads as well as paying for half. I’m now having to do both mornings and evenings as well as pay for everything.

Which brings me to my question, I’m trying to figure out what to do. One is 27 and I’ve had him 20 years so he’s with me until he departs. One is daughter’s pony, he’s tiny and no bother and partner pays for his running costs so he doesn’t cost me anything. We have two 6 year olds that we got as foals, one is mine and one is my mums. My mum was talking about loaning hers before she died and we had someone interested but he has conveniently gone lame so he’s staying whilst we investigate. My other 6 year old is the only one I can actually ride and my absolute heart horse so he can’t go anywhere. Which leaves me with my mare. She’s a big, on and off lame 17 year old with sweetitch. She can’t go anywhere else, she’s too big for a companion, trashes fencing with her itching, is lame in front after an old injury and also stiff behind. So I keep thinking realistically it would make more sense to have her PTS before winter to ease the load slightly. And then when my mum’s is hopefully sound loan him out so I’m two horses down.

I feel so bad when I look at her though! She’s only 17 which is no age at all really these days. But then I think she could live another 10+ years which is a lot of feet trimming, worming, vaccinations, feeding, dentals etc. We’ve had her since a 2 year old and she’s always been complex so we made the decision to never sell her in case she ended up in the wrong hands. I’m just torn and feel like something needs to give before winter, I never planned to be in this situation. My mum died well before her time 😪

So sorry about your Mum
As for the mare, I can understand why you’re thinking about this route, and it could well be for the best for you and her. It is a difficult decision, and you don’t have to make it straight away. You are in the sharpest part of your grief, decisions about what to do with the horses can wait a bit. I realise it’s a lot of work for you but in the short term the work and cost is basically the same for 4 or 5 horses. And if the mare has had her time then so be it. But you don’t have to rush into a decision and other options may open up.
Sending hugs

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum💐
In your position I don't think you'd be wrong to PTS, she has health challenges and if she's lame and suffers from sweetitch she is likely uncomfortable a lot of the time.
I'm sure you'll have the usual people telling you to give her up to a rescue centre or find her a new home but in my opinion that's the crueler route.
There's far worse things that can happen to a horse than being put to sleep at home with people she knows and loves at her side.

Also with regards to the others I agree keep your 6yo and your daughters pony, put your mums out on loan once he's sound (maybe LWVTB depending on what you think your mums wishes would be).
Is there any chance your old boy would cope with wintering out - maybe with some other retirees? Some don't do well but I found with my oldie it stopped him getting stiff and chucking hay in every day was nowhere near as much of a hardship.

Sorry about your mum 💐
I'd pts. She might only be 17 but she's lame and stiff and that will only get worse. As the above poster said, there are worse things that can happen to a horse.

How many can you afford to keep, both money and time-wise?

I'd PTS 17 y.o. and 27y.o. Rather do it while the weather is nice.

Your mum's pony, I guess depends on how lame it is and what the prognosis is. If you can find a local loaner/sharer you could maybe agree to share costs while it is lame. They could use the time to get to know the pony, groom, maybe do some in hand work if this fits in with its rehabilitation.

I’m so sorry about your mum too.

I agree with this poster and previous ones entirely.

Sorry for your loss, your head must be spinning. I would PTS both the old and the lame one, they deserve the best care and you can't guarantee anything if they went elsewhere. If mum's horse recovers, look for someone to loan in return for mornings/evenings or whatever. Do you have the opportunity to move on site?

You’ve got another month to six weeks of reasonable weather to make your decisions. I would probably PTS but take a bit of time to make the decision.