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Discuss horse riding and ownership on our Horse forum.

Original poster

Anyone had parenting clash over riding lessons?

18 replies

IslaValargeone · 21/12/2012 20:05

Dc wants riding lessons, is pony mad and wants to be a vet.
Dh is, shall we say, less than keen. He has done some research and has announced that it is more dangerous than riding a motorbike. Unfortunately he is the victim of a motorbike accident which makes it more pertinent.
Having been stopped from doing anything I wanted as a kid, I am loathe to repeat history, but obviously I can't ignore the safety concern. Has anybody else had this issue?

OP posts:
brighthair · 21/12/2012 20:11

My mum tried to stop me but she saw how happy it made me. I started age 4 and am still continuing. Most horsey people I know are aware of the safety issues and all you can do is minimise the risk. So hat and gloves at all times, body protector or air jacket. A good thing is to be taught how to fall as well
I see it as at the end of the day I could be hit by a bus when crossing the road and I am far more likely to have a car accident as I minimise the risk so much when riding by wearing safety protection and riding a suitable horse

pipsy76 · 21/12/2012 20:11

Buy her a really good back protector/air vest?

brighthair · 21/12/2012 20:13

P.s I think the motorbike comparison is true, but comparing it to eventing. Not pottering on a small pony on the lead rein.

Onlyaphase · 21/12/2012 20:16

DH and I were like this, down to the comparison with motorbikes and DH's accident.

What helped was that the stables we use for lessons are clearly very safety conscious, you have to have a hat and body protector on before you're allowed on the ponies, no road work for ages, indoor and outdoor schools with nice soft surfaces to land on etc.

It helps that the instructor is a bossy hands-on woman, who doesn't tolerate bad riding at all, and wouldn't leave novices alone with a junior assistant at all. She has eyes in the back of her head, and generally inspires confidence.

Based on this, can you get DH to a riding stables or two to discuss the safety issues with the instructor? He might hit it off with one of them and relax about it a bit more with any luck.

Zazzles007 · 21/12/2012 20:18

How old is DC, Isla? Is he/she inclined to pester power? Xmas Grin Most kids who really, really. really, really, really, want to ride horses will just pester their parents until they give in (like I did!). I would allow DC to do the hard graft and pester your DH until he relents, while you keep a more neutral stance. When she/he pesters you though, just say "its not me you have to convince" and send her/him to Dad.

Hope this helps

Original poster
IslaValargeone · 21/12/2012 20:22

Thanks everyone. He's obviously envisaging 3 day eventing rather than a bit of trotting on a country lane.
I can't see dc lasting tbh as she hates muck and bad smells :o
Onlyaphase, that's interesting about your dh too, I'll see if I can get him to visit some stables.

OP posts:
Original poster
IslaValargeone · 21/12/2012 20:23

Zazzles, at the moment he is adamant. He is very protective, she is 10 and our only!

OP posts:
Original poster
IslaValargeone · 21/12/2012 20:24

Currently he is in "I'm not discussing it, I have spoken" mode Hmm

OP posts:
Zazzles007 · 21/12/2012 20:41

OK, perhaps it would be good for you to do some research first. 10 years of age is actually a great age for kids to start riding, because if they are younger, they tend not to have great control over their arms and legs and cannot really get a horse moving.

As far as the saftey aspect goes, I'm not in the UK, but others will be able to tell you that the riding helmet has to conform to certain safety standards, and what the current standards in your country are. Also if you go to a BHS approved riding school, then you again will get a certain standard of safety. Schools that are run along pony club lines are also really really big on safety.

So is hubby having a "not my precious first born" moment? Xmas Grin

Original poster
IslaValargeone · 21/12/2012 20:42

Indeed he is Xmas Grin

OP posts:
Butkin · 21/12/2012 21:07

Isla, we've a DD who will be 10 in a few months and she is our only as well. She's ridden since she was 2 and now has a selection of ponies! Of course she occasionally falls off but she always wears a helmet and back protector (ok not in the show ring but thats a different story).

Admittedly if she starts jumping and even more so if she starts doing X country or Point to pointing then they are more dangerous sports.

However not allowing her to ride at all seems extreme. Riding on the flat is more comparable to cycling in terms of danger compared to jumping/motorbiking.

Where will your DH stop - will he ban her from driving, swimming, flying? Eventually you have to let them experience different things but wearing the correct protective gear and minimising the risks by having good tuition and riding sensible animals.

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry · 21/12/2012 23:12

if she starts at a really good responsible school she will not do anything that she isnt ready for....my school insists on body protector for the under 16s.

i started riding then DD joined me! she is 15. im on my 7 th lesson and am still on the lunge rein! never managed more than a trot!

i think its as safe as you make it. There is no way i would let DD go kamikaze on a daft horse without instruction - but thats not what tends to happen!

your DH is being a bit daft....hope you manage to talk him around. i love it and its finally prized DD off the sofa and out into the fresh air!

Pixel · 22/12/2012 00:51

Dh wasn't keen on ds riding when he started aged about 5 (he's not keen on me riding either but he knows better than to try and stop me!) but he knows I would never let him on without correct safety gear. I borrowed an elderly shetland and dh saw for himself that ds was as safe as houses. He was on a lead rein and only a couple of feet from the ground, it was actually more traumatic watching him scaling a huge climbing frame in the park!
Anyway dh got used to seeing ds pottering about and now a few years down the line he didn't bat an eyelid at him going on to a bigger pony and having rides on other peoples'. He even comes along and does the proud father bit with the camera. Smile. It was all down to breaking dh in gently to the idea and letting ds's big smile do the rest.
(I should point out that ds is disabled so remains on the lead rein therefore dh doesn't have to deal with seeing him charging about, but equally he is more vulnerable so it's still a big shift in attitude for dh).

Zazzles007 · 22/12/2012 03:22

Awww Pixel, what a lovely story Xmas Grin.

Alameda · 22/12/2012 13:44

That's so silly. I'm sure travelling in a car is riskier than riding lessons.

Pixel · 22/12/2012 17:01

Depends who's driving Alameda .

Alameda · 22/12/2012 17:49

haha yes

In fact think I killed my 'new' car tonight when it suddenly accidentally went into deep water :( it was dark, how could I tell?

Pixel · 22/12/2012 23:26

Oh dear, is it still there?

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