Competing against your friends - demoralising?

[Carrotsandcelery]

I am likely to be competing in a few weeks for the first time in ages. It looks like I will be competing against a few of my friends.

It is just a small, low key competition but I am concerned that all of us being ranked against each other might not be a good idea.

I am worried that if I get a low place I will be demoralised but also concerned that if I do better then one friend in particular might she might also be demoralised.

We generally ride together and regard ourselves as of roughly equal ability. Neither of us are confident riders but are working on it. I am worried that this will knock our confidence or mark out a difference between us, which would be awkward either way round.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Was it fun? Was it helpful or divisive? How did you handle it?

Why would it be demoralising? They are your friends, wouldn't you just support each other? I think you are worrying over nothing.

Agree before you go that it will just be a fun day out and if you don't win anything in won't matter. If any of you do well you can all celebrate!

We compete at shows most weeks and because of the nature of showing we would consider most of our rivals to be friends because we see them most weeks, the children play together and we share the same interests.

Once in the show ring it is every person for themselves though because you're competing to do the best you can. Anything else would be a waste of your effort. You win with humility or lose with good grace.

At the end of the day you're horsey people doing what you enjoy.

Nobody should hold a grudge and you should smile and say "better luck next time" - and mean it!

That is comforting to hear from both of you - thank you.

I think I am nervous and trying to find excuses why it would be a bad idea so that I can "excuse" myself from competing.

Dh says I am only really competing with myself and should just chill out and enjoy it.

The thing is, on the day, anything could happen! It could go well or badly. It's mainly luck really! You may do poorly this time, but next time you could sweep the board against the same people. Just go, try your best, and enjoy yourself.

I compete against friends a lot too, some I win and some I lose! It's all great experience, though!

Agree with Pisfarterleech. Now, competing against your instructor is another thing!

It'll be great - you'll all be rooting for each other. Even the best of horse/rider combos can have a 'spook at the judges car' type day too, so it might not always go the way you think.

Don't worry about competing against friends, you can only do the best you can and so can they too. I think it's nicer in a way then you don't feel so pressured, it can be stressful enough competing anyway and the atmosphere may be better if several of you know each other.

I remember competing against a judge who'd judged me 2 weeks previously.. hmmm she won and we got a special rosette for standing in the rain for about 2 hours - it was a massive retrained racehorse class! good luck