To feel disappointed about leaving

[bottleopener8]

I've been at my school for almost 15 years and have finally had to leave. I loved the school, which is in a very deprived area, but behaviour has gotten so much worse over the years and support from SLT is now laughable. Students who disrupt the majority of teaching SLT will say things like 'oh they just need nurturing'. There are 5 very disruptive students in my class, who take up massive amounts of my time as all of my TAs time.

I feel like I've let myself down by not staying but genuinely feel like I've been gaslit but SLT who act like it's something that can be fixed by smiling or featuring the students in assemblies positively. I just look at the rest of the students trying to learn and feel dreadful for them.

That’s what gets me when there are disruptive students who are not sanctioned by SLT - the faces of the poor students whose education is being trashed.
The culture is changing for the worse at my school and I have started getting emails like ‘he is very immature for his age and doesn’t understand the boundaries’ and ‘ he needs explicit explanation about why this behaviour is unacceptable’. Okaaaaay so he needs an explanation about why making sex noises and heckling innuendoes is unacceptable in the middle of a lesson. I see. In the meantime even the most well controlled of peers is staring daggers at him and telling him to be quiet. But apparently he needs praise!
I totally get why you are at the end of your tether, OP.