Teacher character in story

[Bellendejour]

Hello!
I’m writing a story and wanted to ask a few really topline questions but didn’t know if that’s really annoying/against Mumsnet law!

If you wouldn’t mind let me know. Just trying to work out how realistic it would be for a teacher’s partner to have been to/know much about the school.

Thanks and no worries if not!

Primary or secondary?

In primary not that unusual for partner to have been in (in holidays) to help sort out classroom. My dad re-feared the pre-school she’d still one school and made & put up shelves at another, my friend once helped me paint my classroom, my son helped with displays and my husband did several tip runs when building works meant I had to clear my room. The Head’s husband did lots of diy.
Secondary - no idea!

I work in secondary and DH has been in a couple of times in the holidays to help me move things, do displays etc. The DC come in for half a day during the two week+ holidays too when I've got things that need doing - they love it but they're only young so it's a bit of a novelty still. They like watching TV on the big screen and drawing on the whiteboards.

DH knows about lots of my colleagues and who does what job from me talking about them but don't think he's met any of them in person, other than in passing when collecting me from a residential trip once.

Occasionally partners come in to talk about their jobs on a careers day but only if they do an interesting job. Otherwise only to help out with dropping off files or something. Schools don’t really encourage having random adults on the premises.

In primary schools I've worked in partners would infrequently pop in after school for various reasons - no one would have batted an eyelid at this. Also sometimes helped with displays and redecorating in holidays and occasionally come on trips.

This is so so helpful thank you!

Yes, it’s secondary, so just wanted to check whether a partner might have been to the school at all.

So it sounds like it’s more the odd occasion to help with things rather than eg picking them up regularly.

Would they ever be invited to work events at the school as a partner or do you not really do anything like that?

Or might they attend a school event such as a school play or similar, or is that more just for parents and family of the children involved?

Thank you so much and sorry if these questions are idiotic! I need to get to know more teachers

In an average day, not a chance. They can't just pop in with lunch or whatever. But as pps have said, coming in to help sort classrooms/displays, helping on school trips, absolutely. So they get to know the lay of the land. And then (in small schools anyway) they get known by sight and recognise other staff members by sight and name.

In independent schools, partners are invited to all school occasions eg plays, house singing, staff panto etc. In a boarding school they get given a job in the school as a house parent or something!

Work events where you might bring a partner would not be on school premises. If there was a school play or concert that had staff performing I guess partners might come.

Dh has come in to do practice interviews with my sixth formers. (Very close supervision due to safeguarding, has to be accompanied by a member of staff.) He has also marshalled our young kids at Christmas/summer fairs when I’ve been doing my bit on a stall.
He has met my colleagues a few times at social stuff, but rarely and doesn’t remember who anyone is from one event to the next.

That episode in Killing Eve where they're having drinks in the school hall and Eve's husband is there would never happen in any school I know!

Work events don’t really happen in school, Christmas parties etc would be organised out of school (you know we pay for them ourselves, right?).

My DH has been a secondary teacher for 13 years...I’ve never once been in to any of his schools. I’ve picked him up from the car park on occasion.

I did 15 years at a state school and the only time I saw partners was at retirement functions, last school to help load up car or school event at a weekend. No way would any partner be able to saunter in and out of a school as they felt like it and certainly not walking around a school on their own.

Depends where it is set. In a village like the one I was brought up in virtually all of the local kids were in primaries and a secondary their parents had been taught in. I had at least one teacher in secondary who had taught my Dad,

Local tradesmen were often in the school as well, electrician, plumbers and builders who had kids in the school.

Thank you! This is so super helpful. I wanted to write about the character seeing the school but suddenly thought ‘Would that ever happen?’ But it sounds feasible but very occasional and under specific circumstances.

Ha, I was wondering about that Killing Eve scene I think that had popped into my head so good to know that’s a nonsense!

Thank you all so much :)

Ive often been into my Dh’s school but I am a teacher too, I’ve been to collect equipment, do some research about the department, see his colleagues (who are friends of mine!). I’ve collected him from work a few times too.

He has never been to my current school, but he did work at my last school (although we only overlapped there for about 3 years).

I was the child of secondary teachers. Whole family went to events eg. Christmas concerts, at both schools, when I was young.

Seems much less done now. I've not met the partners of any colleagues at work events.