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Impossible cat situation

9 replies

LumpkinPumpkin · 24/10/2026 09:46

I’m really stuck with what we are supposed to do for the best for DCat. He’s 3, healthy, neutered and a very relaxed, affectionate boy when he is at home. We have two other DCats whom he gets on very well with.

HOWEVER, he’s a wonderer. For some unknown reason, over the past two years he has taken on a second territory about a mile and a half from home. He’ll be here for a week or two, and then bugger off up there. He very rarely comes home without us fetching him, and he can be gone for weeks on end if left to his own devices.

Shutting him in overnight has helped as he prefers to travel when traffic is quiet (it’s up country lanes and across fields) but he still slips off during the day every couple of weeks.

We have tried:

  • GPS trackers - we have tried numerous but because the signal is poor and he is in and out of farm buildings, under cover of trees and bushes etc, they loose battery after a few hours, even on their most economical settings.
  • Airtag - currently the best option we have at present. Doesn’t tell us exactly where he is, and he can go 24 hours without pinging but it means we can track him down when we go up to the farm, approximately half the time.
  • A miniature smart phone - attached to a harness, with location sharing apps. Same problem with battery life and reliability.
  • Leaving him to it - he can be gone for months and then gets riddled with worms and fleas and loses lots of weight. We’ve never left him that long on purpose but if he slips his collar, the situation is impossible because it’s such a big area.

At present, he has to wear a custom made harness with the AirTag attached because he’s lost so many collars and then been impossible to find. I don’t love it because obviously it’s an entrapment risk, but I can’t see what other choice we have.

The owners of one of the farms (there’s a few farms, stables and residential houses in one kilometer or so radius) have started being really pushy about us removing his harness because he ‘gets stuck’ (he might snag on a bramble but has always wiggled himself out fine). I have explained until I’m blue in the face that he gets very unwell if left to do his own thing, which is what they seem to think we should let him do. They are also clearly feeding him which doesn’t help. They were quite helpful to start with, calling when they saw him etc. but they have become much more confrontational recently. Everyone in that general area knows us and has been asked to call if they see him or can trap him.

When he’s home he’s the laziest, soppiest cat! He’s so happy to be here! It’s just that he seems to think he has two homes!

Shutting him in just isn’t achievable and he’d be miserable. He’s been kept in for weeks, up to a couple of months at a time, but he always reverts to the same pattern so unless we committed to him being a full time house cat (which he’d hate) it’s not a solution. For various boring practical reasons fencing our garden in isn’t logistically possible either. We’ve considered a buried perimeter fence with a static collar, but I’ve heard these aren’t particularly effective for cats and I worry it would just cause him to run off anyway.

Dows anyone have any suggestions?! I spend far too much of my mental energy trying to work this one out.

OP posts:
Boreded · 24/10/2026 09:48

I think you should try to commit to keeping him in all the time. I agree with them on the harness too, they’re not safe, like collars

Sprogonthetyne · 24/10/2026 13:31

I think he does need to stay home, could you build some kind of pen/catio so he can have some outdoor access, even if fencing the whole garden is impractical

Happyjoe · 24/10/2026 14:12

Please, no harness. Or collars. Not safe at all and as you have no idea where he is, you can't help him.

Is there anything at home that he perhaps prefers to avoid? Any other pets nearby (neighbour cat), young children, noisy neighbours?

And if the farm, the exciting farm with lots going on are feeding him dinner then you may not win this one until he's too old to bother exploring. Cats will consider that farm a commodity with the food as well as the interesting environment.

As for trying to contain in the garden, yeah, you know your cat and it's probably a no. Not all cats will settle for this, our own cat was very miserable losing her freedom and netting in the garden. She over-groomed, hair fell out, stopped eating and actually faced the wall, refusing to engage with us, it got worse as the months went on. We gave in, gave her back her freedom and she was instantly happier.

The only other thing is to try and speak to the farmers again, keep talking to each other, perhaps that you're going to have to share him after all or as hard as it is, consider allowing them to keep him? Or move home, away from the farm..

Twelvetimes · 24/10/2026 14:34

I agree with you that there is no point making him miserable by restricting him. I think I would remove the harness, they are right it is an entrapment risk. You already know that but think it's worth the risk, but I am not sure it is.

I would let him do his own thing. Now the weather has changed I suspect he'll stay closer to home during winter?

You may think he loves being at home, but his behaviour - disappearing for weeks and not returning of his own volition - is telling you otherwise.

It is probably the other cats. Some cats just do not like sharing their home with other cats. I have one of those, when he was younger he used to go off for a week at a time, off across the fields having a great time. Obviously that put him at risk from all sorts of things but that was the life he wanted, so I let him have it (I didn't really have a lot of choice!) He had a couple of mishaps but surprisingly he survived, he's now 14 and stays close to home. But my feeling was that if he had died younger, at least he would have had a life he loved.

tripleginandtonic · 24/10/2026 14:50

Boreded · 24/10/2026 09:48

I think you should try to commit to keeping him in all the time. I agree with them on the harness too, they’re not safe, like collars

Keeping him in is cruel. I agree with the farmers, he likes to roam

MadeForThis · 24/10/2026 14:57

The farmers have obviously seen him trapped in the harness and freed him. Please stop using the harness as he could be seriously hurt. Let him wonder. If he wants to come home he will.

HarryPotterandtheClimateofFear · 24/10/2026 15:04

The idea of a cat out and about in a harness given me the absolute horrors - so dangerous. I would remove it and work on your relationship with the farmers where he is going so they keep you updated on his whereabouts and you can fetch him back each time once he’s had a bit of an adventure.

Irondavy · 24/10/2026 15:13

I think I’d be tempted to leave him to it. Make sure he’s wormed and fleaed regularly when he’s home-the flea treatments last a couple of months so should cover him while he’s away.
He’s obviously chosen this life for himself-anything else isn’t going to work for either of you!

Boreded · 24/10/2026 17:03

tripleginandtonic · 24/10/2026 14:50

Keeping him in is cruel. I agree with the farmers, he likes to roam

There is nothing cruel about keeping him in if he adjusts to it well, if he doesn’t then fine it would be cruel.

What is cruel though is leaving him to go out and get riddled with fleas and become thin because he hasn’t come home in months.

We aren’t talking about a cat that is going for walks for a night, we are talking about one who goes missing for a long time. How can OP be sure to keep him healthy if she doesn’t see him.

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