Struggling with guilt and regret

[ItsPriya]

My beautiful cat became unwell out of nowhere on Sunday.
Point blank refusal to eat anything at all, went to sleep on the top stair (never done this before) and barely moved. He was sick 3x and it was like he was looking at you but his eyes weren't focusing. Not responding to his name.
Took him to the vets Monday morning. They said his stomach felt tense and gave him an anti sickness and anti inflammatory injection. He actually seemed to perk up a little bit, drank some water, used his litter tray and was walking around a bit.
Tuesday morning however, he was worse. Slumped on the stairs, still refusing food. Hadn't eaten since Saturday evening at this point.
Back to the vets, had an xray and discovered a suspicious shadow/mass where his stomach was tense. Vet couldn't say for sure what it was or if it was fixable without surgery.
He was so weak from 65+ hours of no food and so sad and listless that we made the hardest decision to let him go. He was only 9.
Now I find myself wrecked with misery, guilt and regret.

Hope you’re ok OP. It seems like abit of a jump to put him to sleep given what was said in your story - did they say they suspected he was in pain or had a slim chance of recovering etc? It must have been really worrying for you. I think no matter how bad he was, it’s always going to come with a huge amount of guilt because you made a difficult decision but you did what you felt was right at the time so trust your judgement. I hope things get easier

@Palmtreesinthegardenseems a bit of a jump ? What an unpleasant and unhelpful comment

None of us want to die, but given that we have to, going from fine to dead in just a few days is probably the best way, I think. The cat wouldn’t benefit from a long illness and difficult treatment.

I'm so sorry, OP 🌸

They suspected he had cancer. And as I said hadn't eaten in 3 days so yes, he was quite clearly suffering.

If you thought he was suffering, it was the right decision.

I have had this with some of my cats, where they have been fine one minute then v ill the next. Each time when the vets said they could run further tests but there'd be no guarantee that they'd find what's wrong or be able to treat, I have asked whether my cat is suffering. If they are then I think the kindest thing is to PTS. It's not fair to prolong their life and misery just so we feel better. Part of being a responsible animal owner is knowing when to make those hard decisions and as the saying goes, better a week too soon than a day too late.

You did the right thing, please do not feel guilty. Try to remember the happy life your cat had.

I realised part of my OP might be confusing.
"The vet couldn't say if it was fixable without surgery" I don't mean he could have avoided surgery, I mean that was the only way to see how bad it was. He was so weak they said he could have died during the op.
I couldn't do it to him. He was the most proud cat, he kept his coat absolutely immaculate and by this time he didn't even have the energy or the will to groom himself. I miss him so terribly.

I'm so sorry to hear about your lovely cat, OP. It sounds like you did absolutely the right thing, but I know from experience how hard it is to make the decision.

Poor kitty. And poor you. If he had suspected cancer then there really isn't much you can do other than pts. You could see the wee fella wasn't well and he's at peace now. No pain.

Luckily it didn't seem like he was badly unwell for long.

It's really sad but please don't feel bad. Prolonging his life wouldn't have been kind.

Both my last two died because of cancer (one suspected lung/one spinal).

I hope you feel more positive soon. It's better to have loved and lost, as they say. X

I had a very similar situation with my cat when he was 14. The vet said there was no point keeping him in for intrusive stressful checks and he was best put to sleep. It was a huge shock but we knew it was the right thing. He was clearly very ill.

I've always thought the kindest thing we can do for our animals is to let them go without allowing them to suffer. It's so very hard on us but a blessed release for them. Sorry for your loss x

You did only what you could have done @ItsPriya So sorry for the loss of your beautiful cat. We have similar earlier this year. Our 15 year old cat had a lump on her cheek/neck which turned out to be cancer. It would have been very near vital arteries etc so very hard to remove. She would have needed an MRI even to see if it was operable. We decided against all that that, for her and put her to sleep when her quality of life was pretty much nil, like you say, not moving, not eating. So so sad but it’s all you can do. You made the right decision. Lots of love to you xx

You did the right thing. Our 13 year old cat developed what the vet suspected was cancer. She became really ill over a matter of days and the only option was invasive tests and treatments (which she might not survive)or let her go. We let her go.

The thing is, it might have been out of nowhere for you, but he had probably been feeling very ill for some time. Cats don't like to seem ill and hide it really really well. When animals get to the point that they don't eat, the end is very often near. You did the right thing, he was weak, not eating and not moving. Most likely in pain too. I am sorry for your loss, but you did the best thing you could for him.

You did all the right things.

You saw he was unwell and took him to the vets for care, twice. You didn't hang about seeing if he just got better, or wait until he got worse. You made sure he got medical care when he needed it.

Part of their medical care was finding an internal mass. Rather than put your weak, suffering beautiful cat through the trauma of investigative surgery, with a chance he wouldn't even survive that, and the results afterwards may well have left only two options of unpleasant treatment or put to sleep, you made a choice. The choice to let him go peacefully without pain or distress. He would thank you.

Thank you so much for all your kind words, I can't tell you how much it's helped. Photo of my beautiful beautiful boy, he was loved so much.

Rest in peace, handsome little chap 💕

@ItsPriya what a stunning boy!

it ll always be hard, no matter what happened … ll never forget my own little boy 😢
don’t make this harder for you , sending love ❤️