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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

I don't know what to do...

14 replies

KeyboardCat · 11/08/2025 08:24

I had 2 lovely maine coone cross cats, Frankie and Lola. Very sadly I came downstairs this morning to find Frankie lying on the floor, unresponsive. She was still warm, so we rushed her to the emergency vet but there was nothing they could do.

My children (9f and 12m) are at their dad's house (My ex husband) for the week (we have 50/50 custody). I have texted him, but told him not to say anything to the children as I will tell them when they come to me. They are going to be devastated, as am I. She was only 3. They think she had a blood clot on her heart, and she wouldn't have even known anything happened, which is a small comfort.

Her sister, Lola, is probably wondering where she is. I got them together so they had each other for company when we went away for a weekend with my mum popping in to check on them and feed them. We are due to go away in 2 weekends time with the kids, and I hate the thought of Lola being on her own.

Eventually we will get a new cat or kitten, I'm just wondering whether it would be better to get a boy cat so that Lola doesn't feel threatened by another female, or even whether to do it sooner rather than later.

Please be gentle with me, I'm crushed by this. I just can't believe it's true. I have a little bag with her fur in it and I'm just holding it and sitting here in shock.

Any advice gratefully received.

I don't know what to do...
OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 11/08/2025 11:15

So sorry, it’s great that you are thinking about another cat. I found it really helps. But give your self some time and space to get over the shock. Could Lola see Frankie so she understands? My cat was with her sister and understood that she had died. She never grieved. I had two successful introductions with new cats and two failed ones. So I can’t comment on what’s best. But the right cat will be out there.

Toddlerteaplease · 11/08/2025 11:17

He was gorgeous!

bengalcat · 11/08/2025 11:22

So sorry - beautiful puss and doubtless some very beautiful memories - hold onto that ❤️

Campingisnexttogodliness · 11/08/2025 12:57

One of our dcats died aged 8 - brothers... He pined solid for 5 months until I caved and got a dkitten. A girl simply because that's what CPL had at the time. Wish I had got her sooner.. Besties within a fortnight... Sorry for your loss op.

Cnon · 12/08/2025 03:04

Sorry for your family's loss.

BondAway25 · 12/08/2025 03:18

I'm so sorry, what a cutie!! Sometimes life really sucks!

No idea what's best to do though! Sorry.

could your Mum (or someone else) stay at your house this next time instead so there's less pressure to decide, get one?

I personally wouldn't leave them alone together so soon anyway.

KeyboardCat · 12/08/2025 08:57

Thank you everyone. I woke up this morning and went to the bathroom and found myself watching the door for her to come in. I'm in such pain.

Lola seems to be doing OK, she's carrying on as normal. I think she knows Frankie is gone, she was sitting by her body yesterday morning, I hope she understands. Frankie got picked up by a lovely lady from the private crematorium yesterday and spent the night in the mortuary with another sadly deceased cat, wrapped in blankets with a teddy. She'll be cremated this morning.

I certainly won't get another cat so soon, I will wait until after the weekend break and I might be in a better frame of mind to make a decision. Luckily I work from home so I'll be able to keep an eye on them if and when we do get another one.

Thank you all for your kind words. I feel like my guts are being ripped out.

OP posts:
Allergictoironing · 12/08/2025 09:16

My heart shattered when I lost Boycat to CKD, and I was going to think long & hard about getting another. But Girlcat was bereft, not helped by me working out of the house & her being an indoor cat. So I went to the rescue I'd first got them from and explained that what I was looking for wasn't for me but for her, and I took home a boy very much in need of a decent home and very friendly with female cats if not people.

He is devoted to Girlcat, and is finally letting me pet him after a couple of years. She is so much happier having a companion, bosses him around and is nowhere near as clingy as she got when her brother was PTS.

KeyboardCat · 12/08/2025 13:30

I will almost certainly get her a companion eventually, but for now we're comforting each other. She's laid flat on my lap just staring, bless her

I don't know what to do...
OP posts:
Allergictoironing · 12/08/2025 13:56

Aw what a sad little face 😢

Toddlerteaplease · 12/08/2025 14:26

I adopted two weeks later after my first loss. And i was told about Penelope when I let the rescue know Magic had died. Within 4 hours! Had to wait a long time for her to arrive. But knowing she was coming really helped. Didn’t stop me missing either of them, but it was something to look forward too.

Puppylucky · 12/08/2025 15:30

That is one of the saddest things I have ever seen on here @KeyboardCat Please give her pets from me

KeyboardCat · 13/08/2025 18:21

Thank you all. Frankie is home now. Lola has perked up a little, she keeps meowing at me, looking concerned, as if to say 'it'll be alright'. She's also enjoying the bag Frankie came home in!

I don't know what to do...
I don't know what to do...
OP posts:
Puppylucky · 13/08/2025 18:37

Cats eh?! Nothing if not pragmatic 😄

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