Cat communicator. I'm in the wrong job!

[Toddlerteaplease]

My massage therapist was telling me that, she paid £70 for someone to come and communicate with her cat. She wanted the cats blessing on her new business, working from home. Apparently the cat told her she'd had a previous fractured jaw. She wanted to know more about her history. How on earth you prove this is beyond me.

My cats tell me exactly what they want without having to pay someone!

I have impaled myself on my ceremonial fountain pen. 🤣

Don't you mean catty rather than bitchy?

Apparently life with her human hasn't been what she expected.
😂😂

My neighbour engaged a "cat detective" when her cat escaped. Cost several hundred pounds but didn't turn up any relevant leads. Cat eventually just found its way home a few days later.

I don't need to pay £70
For Penelope to tell me that I do t feed her enough Sheba. She makes her opinions very clear. And Cheddar doesn't have an unspoken thought in her head. 😂

I can always tell what NMCs want when they come to my house.

For example:

Suzy pops round now and again.

And so does Picard:

....... but I know jolly well what NMCs want.

🤣🤣🤣

How crazily gullible is that.
Jaxon Galaxy is a cat therapist who works wonders on cats-
But pet psychics ?
A load of Barnum statements that could apply to any cat.

” She knows you are worried about her safety on the roads and she appreciates that”

One born every minute!

That reminds me of when Alizè had his first UTI. The vet wanted to investigate what was causing it so wanted to refer me to a cat psychologist, not behaviourist. I didn't even know there was such a thing. The initial appointment was £150 and I had a 24 page document to fill out before booking the appointment. There were questions like "Does your cat groom an average amount for a cat, more than average, less than average", "Does your cat play an average amount for a cat, more than average, less than average" etc, as well as pictures of a house and individual rooms that I had to mark his eating, drinking, playing, and sleeping places on.

Our newish rescue has managed to successfully communicate that she no longer likes tinned tuna (that I have just bought in bulk as it hides her thyroid medicine) and would prefer it if we went back to gently poached chicken.

Our cat who has been with us for 8 years has also told us a great many times that she wishes we had not got that horrible other cat from the RSPCA and instead continued to worship her and only her.

There is a lady near us who uses her telepathic skills to find lost cats. She has quite a FB following. I'm not sure what her success rate is though.

<Disclaimer?
I know MN are very suspicious and disapproving of anything considered woo (there was a thread about Mediums last week and lets just say it got ugly )

Years ago (I;m taling 40 years ) I used to read Pony magazines and there were articles on Horse Whisperers

I would like to ask our Male Cat why he is so mistrustful of me . He skirts past me , turning his head and giving me a huge eyed look. He doesn't slink or crouch , he walks tall but does a properr bodyswerve
I can only assume some evil bat who looks or sounds like me threw stones at him when he was a tiny kitten and he bears grudges .
My guinea-pigs (one pair were completely unhandled ) settled with routine and patience .
Male Cat has a Oh WTF now look about him if I try to engage .
He walks round and round DD , smooches up against her for strokes .
If I try to stroke him its only on his cat tower , though I get a "Do not touch me . I did not invite you" look .
He adores my daughter so he's not mysoginistic.

I am nothing but nice (except I take him to the Vet ) Actually the only time I can stroke him is at the Vet . He is fearful but completely non aggressive .

I neeeed a Cat Whispere for answers .
Eyeballs Cat

My friend had a very grumpy Persian Chinchilla. She had a new groomer, who also does cat Reiki. No idea what she did, but she's a different cat. I can pick her up and she's less grumpy.

I've got a sweet dumb angel cat and a spicy calculating genius. She came off the street and never lost her street attitude. Sweet dumb angel cat doesn't understand cat communication, she's not about to start understanding human. The other one has too much power already.

I believe in it a s I’ve been practicing it
I don’t charge
i guess it’s like most things
dont knock it unless you’ve tried it maybe ?

@cavalier I think I could use one after starting this thread. Cheddar died and Penelope is not happy with new cat.

Ahh bless I’m sorry to hear that
I’m a relative learner I don’t promise anything
im not sure how to do this on here incase breaking guide lines …