Why are cats such dicks?

[LiliLil]

A question that will remain until the end of time.

My 6 month old girl has got into the habit of waking me up every morning at 5am on the dot. She does this by licking my nose and standing on my head.

Why, I hear you ask. She is not hungry, or playful, nor does she want to be let out. She is neither too cold nor too warm. She does it because she CAN.

And when I’m finally wide awake, she gets off me, saunters over to the foot of the bed, curls up and goes back to sleep 😩.

Obligatory photo of the queen of the house.

Lookit that face! Ollie is so expressive.

Puddy sits by my ear at night purring. I started wearing earplugs now.

My late, much lamented Small Cat would lurk under the bed, waiting until the light was out and I appeared to be asleep. She would then jump up and very delicately lick my eyebrow, walk over my head and around to the shoulder, then migrate to my hip and use it as a hammock. At some point in the night I'd wake up and realise she had gone so lightly I never noticed. Cute.

Big cat was not allowed in my room at night because he would try to take over the bed, and if he thought you were moving too much he'd give you a hearty smack with a hard paw or zap your feet through the covers. One time DS2 had come to stay and was sleeping on the divan; Big Cat decided it was HIS bed and bit DS2 on the face (fortunately not much damage done). Big Cat is also late but a lot less lamented.

Beautiful Cats 😍

MrCat usually sleeps on our bed. I say bed, but what that mostly means is dh's or my hip, or my belly. Sometimes he likes to lie on my chest and lovingly slap my face with his big, heavy tail. MrCat quietly comes and goes as he pleases, and we are unaware of his stealthy feline movements. So why the heck does he have to LEAP off my full bladder belly an hour before my alarm goes off?!?! Why doesn't he move stealthily then? He doesn't even want me to do anything, just flounces off to do whatever it is he does.

Of course when dd is at home he sleeps with her and her electric underblanket. In the morning he leaves her peacefully sleeping and comes to us to shout at us for his breakfast.

Cats! Why do we live the little bastards so much?

Look at his 'feed me underlings' face!

Our old lady (16) has taken to sleeping on the pillow but unfortunately she has developed a bad snoring habit. DD thought she'd make her a bed in this photo.

Sounds like you all have lovely cats , mine lets me stroke him about once a week if I'm lucky , he spends the rest of the time randomly attacking me 🤷‍♀️

I feel like I live in a different world to MN as there is no way I would tolerate being woken up at 5am by a cat jumping on my head

Ours have been shut downstairs overnight since day one - they're allowed upstairs during the day but at night it's a definite no.

With our previous cat, we tried the shutting-downstairs thing initially when moving to this house. Total failure. She learned to pick at the carpet, eventually managing to pick up the carpet, and the underlay, from the tacks beneath, to the extent that we couldn't open the door as the carpet rucked up behind it......... So she got her way and had full control of the house. Of course.

This little madam needed an hour of tummy rubs from 5.30-6.30 this morning before she 'gently' suggested that breakfast was welcome 😻

Mine always wait until the lights have been out approximately 15 minutes before playing chase/kill with each other. Was bad enough when it was Girlcat & Boycat, but now it's Girlcat and Tobias he does insist on loudly announcing anything & everything he's doing. So I get the "thump scrabble" noise AND yelling.

He's also taken to patrolling my bedroom at about 5am the last couple of mornings. For a cat who is still very nervous about me,i wish he could resist telling everyone at the top of his voise how brave he is entering the monster's lair while she's in there! Then again he's probably just used the tray (he's a twice a day poo guy) and is informing me so I can immediately get up to scoop it!

I've started taking a bowl and food upstairs so when I'm woken for food he will go back to sleep. Worked once, now he has food and wakes me up for cuddles instead

I wear an eye mask. The cat has learned to get his claw in the elastic strap and flick it back against my face, repeat until he has managed to wake me up. Truly an arsehole.