Feeling so guilty...

[noirchatsdeux]

10 years ago a the parents of a mutual friend of mine and my partner's ran a feral cat colony in the sizeable grounds of their home. The usual TNR, with kittens socialized and adopted out. I adopted 2 kittens out of a litter of 4. I've now had 10 very happy years with my two cats...they've been indoor cats all their lives as I've never had access to a garden.

A photo of the kittens and their mother came up in my FB memories today...I was scrolling back through the friend's photos of the time to see more, when I made the mistake of reading the comments on a photo of the 2 we didn't take, when the friend was still trying to find homes for them.

Basically I've found out today that as they couldn't find homes for them, they were euthanised by the RSPCA when they were 8 weeks old. Cats Protection refused to take them as they were feral.

I've been in tears ever since. I feel so insanely guilty for not taking all 4. 10 years ago I lived in a large flat, and didn't feel able to have 4 indoor cats, for both space and financial reasons. I'm now in a small HA and worry enough about the happiness of the 2 I have.

I know there's no solution and I'll just have to come to terms with it. Anyone reading this, for the love of God, please spay and neuter your cats!

It’s very very sad, but it’s in no way your fault OP, 4 kittens is a huge amount which no one would ever have expected you to take! You saved your 2 babies and that is wonderful.

I am so sorry. That’s a sad thing to discover and I would feel exactly the same as you about it. But please don’t berate yourself. Two is the most the majority of people would feel able to keep as indoor cats in a flat.

You had no idea the others failed to find a home or that they ended up being euthanised. And I’m sure if you had suspected you would have moved heaven and earth to shoehorn them into your flat too, despite the expense, the lack of space and the risk they wouldn’t get on.

It wasn’t your fault. Don’t let it spoil your happiness in your cats. They are lucky to have you.

And yes, absolutely to spaying and neutering pets so there will be less sad stories.

Thanks guys. Your comments have helped so much.

I told my partner as soon as I found out - he's horrified as well, particularly as our friend posted it all in public. We honestly both thought the two kittens would just become part of the feral colony if homes couldn't be found for them. It's been quite the shock.

I am so sorry. That must have been so hard to read.

But hold onto the thought that two of them have had a lovely home. Look at the positives