New cat after loss

[RoastChicory]

We lost our much loved 16 year old cat to cancer earlier in March. We were all devastated, especially DS13.

A friend of mine’s cat has kittens, and I would love to adopt a pair. They would look totally different to our old cat. The rest of the family has said OK, but DS still feels sad and would rather we didn’t. He has ASD and finds it hard to speak about his feelings.

Any thoughts on what we should do? I think DS would come round once they are here, but I don’t want to upset him.

I would pay attention to his feelings. He has made them known, just let him know that when he’s ready he can adopt another cat. Simple.

Would he be open to visit the kittens and see how he feels. We lost our lovely cat Ruby in December and took in a rescued pair just a few months ago and while they don't lessen the grief they provide a lot of comfort and are filling the cat shaped hole in mine and dd's hearts.

If you can, reassure your DS that having new cats doesn't mean that you loved your previous cat any less. That it is ok to still be sad about the old cat but new cats can mean a new relationship and new memories. I know that change can be difficult for some people with ASD and it may take several conversations.

Definitely talk to him, and reassure him they are not replacing the other cat.
Will it be possible to visit the kittens to sse how he manages?

Maybe consider getting a stray from rescue instead. You can explain to DS that these cats are in desperate need of homes. It's not so much a case of replacing the cat, but of giving another cat a chance of a good life 💐