Nervous rescue cat - help! Cute pic included

[tierraJ]

I adopted my cat 4 weeks ago, she's approx 4 & had been abandoned.

She's got a sweet nature, won't bite or scratch but is incredibly scared of most things.

I live alone but have visitors at least alternate days.
She seems terrified of men, hides behind the sofa if a noise scares her & shakes when being brushed.
She flinches if anyone except me tries to stroke her.

For some reason she won't let me touch her in the kitchen but apart from that she sits next to me on the sofa, & cuddles up to me on my bed all night.
She likes to follow me round the house & purrs when I stroke her. She likes to use her scratching post.

She has a 'safe area' under a small table against a wall where she stays on her blanket when visitors come or if I play music.

I won't let her outside as I couldn't trust her to not run off in terror at the smallest noise.

I want her to become more relaxed really as it's sad to see her so nervous. I'm getting a new sofa soon which may well upset her too. I'm going away in June for 2 weeks, my mum or Dad may feed her but she's scared of them!
I have a Feliway diffuser which seems to have had little effect!
Im glad she seems to like me, but I just want her to enjoy life a bit more!
Any ideas??

The pic is her next to me on the sofa

Four weeks is still early for a shy cat. Sounds like you're doing all the right things and going at her pace. It might just take time for her to become more comfortable. Are your visitors good with her or are they noisy etc.?

You could try a supplement called Zylkene, it's for helping cat's cope with stressful situations. Pet Remedy plug ins and spray are also better than Feliway for most cats.

The Feliway is a good idea. As is keeping her inside for a long time. Other than that it's just a question of time. Some cats take much longer than others to gain confidence. Just keep on doing the same stuff and be patient.

It's lovely that you've homed a nervous cat. They are the hardest to home.

Her ears look a bit nervy and she is lovely, i am sure she'll settle down soon with lots of love.

Mine literally took months to get to the stage yours is at already, and even now they run if they see me pick up a brush. Let her come to you in her own time - my Boycat is the scardiest cat ever but he's a real cuddle monster now

Aww, she's so sweet! You'll need to give her time to get used to you and to understand she is now in a safe and loving environment. Let her take things at her own pace while she learns to trust her new home.

She is so lovely. Can see the ears are rotating. Could you get your mum or dad to give her one or two feeds (with a treat) before your holiday? If they chat away to her while doing it , it may assuage her fear. When one of mine seems nervous, I yabber away while giving rubs to distract them.

I have two cats. They are six this year. We've had them from kittens and one of them has always been nervous. We've persevered and the other day she sat on my desk!
I'm afraid it's time, persistence and patience.

Our cat was a cat protection cat and extremely extremely nervy.

If I shouted downstairs to DH etc she would be petrified and if anyone banged anything she would flinch and cower.
It was heartbreaking
We have had her since October and now she is much much better- more confident and playful and much happier with people

We just gave her space time and love.

Your cat is beautiful

Oh bless her! Yes it can take quite a while for them to settle.

Thanks for all the replies.

She's currently curled up next to me but still on alert - one problem is that the walls are thin so she can hear voices & the tv from next door which must be weird for her as she can hear those noises but not see the things causing them.

Mum started feeding her when I'm on an early morning shift but I'm off sick so it's been a week since Mum fed her - she took a treat off Mum today so maybe I'll get Mum to give her her evening food tomorrow.
She does seem to tolerate my mum.

I have a very nervous cat. I've had her from 4 weeks old. I found her in the middle of the road I was driving down, immediately took her to the vet who told me that she'd always be a very nervous cat. I'm afraid to say that 7 years later she's still very nervous. She jumps at noises, runs and hides when anyone calls to the house, spends most of her time upstairs, and is on high alert most of the time. It seems like your cat is making alow progoress. I think, given time, shell settle in. You're right not to let her out.

My stray battered cat took 5 years before she’d stop crawling out of the room on her belly if a bloke she didn’t know came into the house. She was terrified of their feet.

12 years later the only thing she’s scared of now is the sound of the Ocado van.

She obviously loves and trusts you it just takes time. We’ve no idea what they’ve had to put up with. Enjoy your new family member.

Dreamies are your mother's friend.

I’ve had my rescue girls since they were 4 months old at first they were both timid, now big cat is anyone’s friend but little cat is still scared of her own shadow.

If it’s just me, DH and my DC and Their BFs in the house she will be with us just l8ke a normal cat. If the phone rings or someone comes to the door she immediately goes into panic mode and runs and hides. She can tolerate the cleaners but generally hides out where they can’t see her whilst her sister helps with the dusting.

My mum mentioned the other day that she had never met her so I carried her downstairs she jumped out of my arms and ran straight back to the bed.

She knows the family so even that my DC has been at uni for the past 12 weeks she will be fine with her and her BF.

We do allow her outside she loves the enclosed garden

My old fella took three years for me to know he could purr.
He's still scared of the vacuum cleaner.
The thing with rescue cats is you never know what they've experienced before.
Another one I had was terrified of plastic bags and brooms.

Ontheboardwalk That is so sad....neither of mine like the vacuum cleaner, but are OK apart from that.

scary I tell her every time the Ocado van is bringing her Dreamies but she’s having none of it. She hears it from the end of the road well before I do and hides under the table.

I can unfortunately understand her being upset about the men’s feet thing but I’ve no idea what the Ocado van has ever done to her

Ontheboardwalk - does the delivery driver come in to the house? She might realise that when she hears the van a man then comes in and attacks her territory. Quite clever, really.

She doesn't sound like the most nervy cat ever. How hidden is she when she's in her safe area? Could you put a blanket or something over the table, or put a box under there, so visitors can't see if she's there but she can see them?

I'd make sure that all visitors know to ignore her. So, if she does come out they shouldn't react, until (unless) she wants them to. I've just won round a very nervous rabbit this way: if I so much as dared look at her from another room she'd bolt. However, if I walked past / over her and totally ignored the fact she was there not only would she not run away she'd get visibly annoyed that I'd now acknowledged her. A few goes of that in quick succession and I could bend down and stroke her. Now she only bolts if she thinks I'm going to pick her up!

When you're away I'd tell your folks to go in and talk aloud, but not 'to' her. So they're giving her lots of notice that they're there, but seemingly disinterested in her. Maybe throw some Dreamies down in her general direction, but not make a fuss if she eats them (obviously this is more for your dad, you mum already seems to be past that stage).

She'll get there. My last cat was scared of men. It took her about 5 years of seeing my uncle every week before she'd sit near him.

I have told my dad to try ignoring her but he keeps wanting to make a fuss of her!

I do ignore her (not on purpose but when I'm busy on the phone or with housework) and she follows me upstairs or into the kitchen and likes to get a fuss.

Looks as if it will be my dad looking after her so he's going to have to try following my advice.

Tell your dad, from me, that he'll get on far quicker with her if he does ignore her, however much he doesn't want to.

You've reminded me of an incident with another rabbit, who was in the house for the winter. Friends came round with their two young children - first time they'd met her. The wee lad, about 3 I think, was desperate to stroke her but, of course, whenever he went near she ran off. Finally, he accepted that he had to slow down and then maybe, she'd come over to him.

Anyway, she went running behind the sofa (which was in the middle of the room, so the child could get to the back as well) and the wee boy, very quietly, crawled on hands and knees after her to see what she was up to. Of course, bunny had run all the way round quickly, and then came upon this child who had obviously found something very exciting behind the sofa and, being a nosy rabbit, she thought she'd better find out what it was. So there was the lad on hands and knees, accompanied by the rabbit, creeping alongside him. It was only when she was nose to nose with him that he realised that she was there, and jumped in surprise! She, on the other hand, quite clearly had a look of "what on EARTH were you looking at, there is nothing there!" on her face. It was highly amusing!

Old girl has always been nervy.

We had her and her brother from being kittens; he was very nosey/friendly (sadly now gone due to a brain tumour)

Good friend who was always in and out of the house, and did holiday cover for us swore blind we only have one cat as she never saw her for over 7 years....

The one day; she just appeared; friend was over the moon.

The funny thing is the things that freaked old boy out don't bother her; she thinks the hoover is funny, ignores aerosols and loves watching bad weather.

It's just takes time

Time Ocado man only ever comes to the door never in the house. After many many years she’s fine with men now even workmen pulling the kitchen out. She sat on the stairs glaring at them for making noise.

tierra Time is right best way for them to bond is for your dad to ignore her. Cats hate being ignored.

My best friend doesn’t like cats because she’s scared of them so was aloof with my cat. My car adored her, would sit staring lovingly at her but my mate was petrified and wouldn’t stroke or go near her. Couple of visits later and they were bestest friends. I don’t get a look in when she’s round. My Mum brings her toys , treats and fusses but doesn’t get a second glance

I’ve had my adopted cat almost a year now. When I first got him he soon became very relaxed in the house and with me but would run and hide upstairs if the doorbell went. He gradually got used to people who visit regularly - he loves it when my parents come to look after him now and my cat sitter says he waits behind the kitchen door for her when she comes.
It was a long process but I made any regular visitors to the house ignore him completely and go about their normal business - as soon as he didn’t feel threatened by people trying to stroke him etc. his curiosity got the better of him and now he hates to be left out.
He still hates the doorbell though but seems to have a sixth sense... if it’s someone he knows he will remain where he is. If it’s a delivery or a stranger he is off up the stairs and under a bed before it has even stopped ringing!

My cat is still very shy with visitors but getting much more confident with me, she even sits on my stomach or my legs when I'm attempting to sleep now!!

Attached is another pic

She’s very beautiful. It can take ages for them to learn not to fear.