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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

Need to rehome loved cat, advice please

26 replies

AdamantEve · 12/03/2018 12:01

Recently had to move into a rented property in which no pets are allowed. This will be long term. I have tried every avenue regarding being allowed to keep my cat and it is not possible, I also cannot rehome her with friends or family so please no suggestions about trying to keep her as it’s simply not possible.

So I am very very upset about having to give dcat up. She is going to a rescue centre tomorrow and they will arrange rehoming. What I want to know is, can anyone suggest anything I should ask/look for at the centre so I can be reassured she will be looked after and rehomed with care? I am so very worried she won’t be happy. She doesn’t like other cats or many people really, she’s only 4 and I am worried she’ll spend her life at the rescue centre. Please don’t flame me, this is a totally unavoidable situation and I’m devastated and full of anxiety about my cats future.
Any positive stories about rescue centres to put my mind at rest a little? Thank you

OP posts:

viccat · 12/03/2018 12:19

I'm a volunteer at a cat charity and see many cats go to lovely forever homes through us.

Of course every charity is different. They range from the one man or woman bands who foster a cat or three at their house, to the large operations with a 100 purpose built cat pens. It's therefore hard to comment without knowing specifics. What research have you done beforehand? Have you asked about their euthanasia policies?

General things to look for obviously include cleanliness and how much space the cats have. We have large individual suites with a heated indoor area and secure outdoor access, with one or two volunteers on duty per day so the environment is always calm. Some cats with us go to foster homes where they have a spare room kitted out for them, or in some cases live with the foster carer in their home like a resident cat would do.

We always explain to people who want to give their cats to us for rehoming what our adoption process entails - long discussions and pre-screening before they visit the cats and a home visit, plus some checks after adoption to make sure the cat is settling in well. Have you asked about any of this?

Has the charity asked you about your cat's personality, health history etc.? Have you read their website and social media pages? What's the impression you get?

Original poster

AdamantEve · 12/03/2018 12:49

Thank you for your reply. They won’t put down a healthy cat, I know they do home visits etc and have certain criteria for re-homing e.g not near busy roads etc. I know a lot of people personally who have adopted cats from them and they are well thought of so I think I know that really my cat will be Ok but it’s just a hard thing to let her go. They have asked a lot about her Health and personality so hopefully that’s a good sign (they know what to expect from her!)

OP posts:

viccat · 12/03/2018 12:52

Yes sounds good to me! A 4 year old friendly cat is unlikely to wait too long for a new home so you don't have to worry about her being stuck there. They will be used to cats who don't like other cats or are shy with new people.

Totally understand it's a really difficult time for you but you are doing the responsible thing. Perhaps one day you'll be in a position to give a home to another rescue cat when your circumstances allow.

thecatneuterer · 12/03/2018 13:36

I think probably you are going to have to take any offer of help you can get. Most rescues are completely full. I would be amazed if you actually had a choice of rescues. As long as they have a non destruction policy then you will just have to go for it. However the one you mention sounds better than most, so you've been lucky.

I'm sorry you're in this position.

EachandEveryone · 12/03/2018 22:15

Is your landlord on site? I never asked mine tbh.

Vinorosso74 · 12/03/2018 22:29

Another volunteer here and it sounds like they're doing everything they should. It can help with rehoming if they have as much info as possible about the cat so they know temperament etc. I doubt a 4 year old will be there too long.

EatSleepRantRepeat · 12/03/2018 22:32

I don't have much advice but I just wanted to leave you a hug Would it be possible to look for a long term fosterer via a rescue centre until your circumstances are better. Either way, I'm so sorry you're being forced into these circumstances xx

bettydraper31 · 12/03/2018 22:33

Sorry you are having to go through this OP.

Have you explained the situation fully to your new landlord? They may be more accommodating than you think given the circumstances.

Best of luck OP, your cat will be well loved and looked after. Be kind to yourself x

Aprilmightmemynewname · 12/03/2018 22:36

Is there no mner suitable? Fabulous thread a few weeks ago of a lady who travelled quite far indeed to give the most beautiful dcat a forever home.

RaindropsAndSparkles · 12/03/2018 22:40

Oh OP there may be a happy outcome. DS had rank allergies and breathing probs as a baby. The medical advice was that dcat may have been having an impact.

We investigated a run in the garden and visited two cpl fosterers. As we wete about to commission the outdoor run we got a call from the vet to say a very elderly lady had lost her oldie and wanted, very responsibly, another oldie.

Original poster

AdamantEve · 18/03/2018 10:48

I have been very silly. Cat was due to go to the centre on Tuesday but I was far more upset then I imagined I ever would have been (I wasn’t even an “animal person” before getting this cat, I don’t know what’s happened to me) and I just couldn’t take her. I phoned them and told a white lie that I was discussing with my landlord whether we could come to an arrangement to keep her.
Obviously this was idiotic as I know we cannot keep her and also now I have messed them about a bit so don’t feel I can contact them again and say oh actually do you still have any space? Honestly wish I’d just taken her and it would have been dealt with now rather than dragging it out which is making everything worse all round.
Just thought I’d give you an update. Thanks for all the kind words they were actually really helpful.
DP has agreed to drop off poor cat if we can find any space anywhere as the handing over is clearly going to be too much for me! But I really feel like an idiot for losing the space we had for her.

OP posts:

claraschu · 18/03/2018 10:57

Call the good rescue again! They may be very sympathetic if you let them see your distress.

I am sorry for what you are going through.

thecatneuterer · 18/03/2018 11:49

Have you actually asked the LL? In your situation i would do what Eachandeveryone has done and just move in with the cat and not mention it. If the LL discovers it you can deal with it then. But given how difficult eviction is, and if you are an exemplary tenant in every other way, the LL may well just turn a blind eye. [waits for flaming]

LanguidLobster · 18/03/2018 11:58

I completely feel for you.

I'm in a similar situation myself, I turned down a lovely, large rented place as they wouldn't accept cats and then we moved into a small awful place as they said they'd accept her. I wonder all the time if this is enough of a life for her.

Please do speak to your LL. Hope it works out. You don't take on a pet without expecting it to be for life so it's hideous when circs change

Original poster

AdamantEve · 18/03/2018 13:51

We actually had the cat in a previous rental property and just didn’t tell the landlord so I actually wouldn’t have had any qualms doing that again as she doesn’t cause damage and nobody was ever any the wiser! Although I agree this may not be ideal as landlords have their reasons for requesting no animals which is fair enough.

At this particular property, my cat outed me by meowing really loudly while on a phone call to the letting agent (she’s a Bengal so not quiet) and I just couldn’t lie when they asked about her. They spoke to the LL who was adamant no animals can be in the property which I do respect, they won’t accept a pet deposit for damage or anything like that. I have tried believe me and I feel so guilty about the whole situation as it’s not my cats fault. Don’t want to keep her here regardless as also have young DC so would be silly to risk our tenancy. We actually only had her in the beginning as a very temporary thing as she was a stray and the family who found her were searching for her owners or a new home but as happens with these situations, the short stay got extended and she became part of the family hence we are now in this position.

OP posts:

Hoppinggreen · 18/03/2018 13:54

Contact a specific Bengal rescue, they will know the breed well and might even have a waiting list for one

Original poster

AdamantEve · 18/03/2018 14:06

That’s a great idea Hopping - if anyone knows of anywhere in the north west please let me know as google isn’t helping me much, thank you

OP posts:

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 18/03/2018 15:27

I don’t know if this might help - Bengal Cat Club

EachandEveryone · 18/03/2018 17:29

Its such a shame. I think a toddler would do more damage to my flat than my girls put together. I feel for you.

Original poster

AdamantEve · 18/03/2018 18:14

I’m with you Eachandeveryone - my cat has never caused damage and all the furniture is our own - the children on the other hand are a whole other world of destruction!

OP posts:

Rudgie47 · 18/03/2018 18:22

I'd just keep her and tell the LL if they ask she has been rehomed.

stressedoutpa · 18/03/2018 18:27

Our cat came to us for similar reasons. People were selling their house and going into rented.

He was six when we got him and is ten now. Seriously, he has a life of Reilly. I am sure she will find a lovely home soon. Try not to worry.

Namethecat · 18/03/2018 18:28

Yes another one who's all for you taking the cat with you. Especially as you say she hasn't damaged any of your furniture etc.

EachandEveryone · 18/03/2018 19:17

Just take her and if the landlord finds out and doesnt like it then rehome her. The chances are they wont find out why would they? Unless they live next door.

Original poster

AdamantEve · 18/03/2018 19:34

Fortunately they don’t live next door! But it’s one of those small communities where people will undoubtedly tell the LL about the cat in the house, not necessarily to cause trouble, just in a conversational way. We are actually already in the house and have our cat here so it’s all a bit cloak and dagger.
I emailed the original rescue place today and didn’t expect a reply with it being Sunday but they have got back to me and still have space so we can take her this week. I’m confident they will find a suitable forever home for her and thats been my main worry so I just need to deal with the short term upset and think about her hopefully ending up in an even better home eventually, where she isn’t there illicitly!

OP posts:

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