Issues with 2 cats

[Catdilemma2]

Apologies if this gets a little long but I'm interested to hear from fellow cat lovers on this!

In our house is:
Me
DH
DS (18 months)
Dog
Grey cat (approx 11)
Black cat (approx 3)

Black cat was rehomed from the RSPCA at approximately 12 weeks old. A few months previously we'd lost our old cat and grey cat (although they'd never been best friends) seemed to miss having a fellow cat around (she was crying in the night). Dog also seemed to miss his cat friend so we hoped black cat would be his friend.

Black cat fitted relatively well in to our house, her and dog get on fine but her and grey cat have never really got on. This has escalated to chasing up and down the house and general bullying of grey cat. It's been worsened by my DS who adores black cat although the feeling isn't reciprocal. Black cat now spends all day upstairs away from DS and only comes out when DS is napping or in bed. DS is not allowed to torment black cat but squeals with excitement when he sees her and she is scared of this.

We all seemed to be bumping along reasonably well until I took grey cat for her vaccinations. She's lost 8% of her body weight over the year (she's a tiny cat anyway). We were advised to feed her up and come back in 3 weeks (which is this afternoon) to see if her weight has changed. If it's not increased they recommend starting tests to see if there is anything wrong. I have no problem with doing this (if required) but feel the first thing I'd need to investigate is whether having black cat around is causing grey cat too much stress (plus restricting access to food). Have agreed with DH that if weight hasn't increased we will look at putting black cat in a cattery for a few weeks and see if grey cats weight increases. If so we may have to take black cat back to the RSPCA as I feel it would be an unfair situation to make grey cat ill.

I'm devastated at the thought of sending black cat back to RSPCA, as the name suggests she's a black cat so will be harder to rehome. On her own she's a brilliant affectionate cat it just seems that the dynamics in the house aren't working.

Does anyone have any advice on any other options we could have?

Have you thought about re introducing fit two cats slowly.... Like when you bring a new cat into the home? Feliway Friends?

This is a topic close to my heart as my 16yr old seniorgirl has been very needy and yowly since her brother /litter mate, seniorboy, was pts on 1/02. She's wanting to play endlessly... No brother to chase and mither anymore.

If all goes well I'll be picking up an 18 mouth old rescue girl tmrw... I am researching like mad to make sure I get the settling in and introductions right.

First of all get the blood tests done. Grey cat is an age where a thyroid problem is quite likely.

As for restricting access to food you can give grey cat a separate food dish somewhere. You can get microchip operated ones so that only she can eat it.

I think you need to rule out physical problems before thinking about doing anything else.

Thanks all. We've tried feliway plugins. They seem to work for a week or so then it goes back to normal. I also seem to be a little allergic to them, they make my lips swell up!
Grey cat is a nervous little thing at the best of times which is why I wanted to try black cat in a cattery before under going the blood tests. Maybe I need to ask the vet today what the blood tests would entail and what they'd show/rule out.

I was thinking thyroid as well (as I have one with it). How much does grey cat eat? Symptoms are increased appetite, increased activity either running around or pacing, confusion, matted coat, sometimes a blood curdling meow, regularly asking for food. You may not experience all of these symptoms though.

Do get grey cat weighed again soon and particularly if there is further weight loss it's worth doing a blood test to eliminated certain things. Does grey cat drink a lot by the way?

By the way, short term I think it's easier to eliminate a health problem with a simple blood test (cheaper as well), rather than upsetting black cat by putting him/her in a cattery.

The trip to the vets was interesting. Grey cat has gained weight (20g) but from looking at the previous weigh ins she's only lost 75g over 2 years! The vet appears to have looked at the heaviest weight which was 3 years ago but that looks 'strange' compared to the other weights. We decided to weigh her again in 2 weeks to see what happens.

Thanks for all the advice. I have 'previous' with this vet as she misdiagnosed my old cat a few years ago now and unfortunately the cat died. I think going forward I'll make sure I see other vets in the practice.