Cats are Utter Total Dicks

[Broken11Girl]

But we love them anyway
Madam BrokenCat went to sleep with my hand under her chin. I Internetted one-handed for a bit but eventually withdrew my hand, sooooo carefully as if playing Jenga...Madam passive-aggressively emitted a piteous little squeak, sighed as if very put upon, wriggled around and deigned to go back to sleep.
I need to 1. pee and 2. go to bed but she is so comfy.
Fucking cats.
Needy, passive-aggressive manipulative twats.
I wouldn't be without her

Bob, my 14 week old Siberian, chewed completely through an Apple charging cord today. She’s a sharp toothed nutcase.

Lying in bed this morning, woken by a few hundred pounds of Boycat landing next to me. Reached out a hand to find a belly already presented to me. Needed a pee, but every time I started to slow the scritching I would get a rather pathetic whirring noise (mine don't miaow) and a wriggle. Took Girlcat coming in the room demanding breakfast (half an hour before my alarm even went off) to persuade him I needed to get up.

I would be very upset if he didn't come for his morning cuddles.

Ours does a tiger sniff/chuff when settling down when he's feeling put upon like when I've decided it's curfew & he's settled down on our bed or I've moved him off my lap to wee.

at these.
I was attempting to shop online. My furry twerp decided that was unacceptable and sat on the arm of the sofa nuzzling me. She purred right in my ear. Her nose was in there. At least she didn't miaow in it...she's done that before.
She is now on my lap.
Furry little feckers.

I think we love them so much and are in absolute awe of them, because we're secretly like them and wish we could behave like them without being ostracised from polite society - or is that just me?

I know what you mean. Be fed, cuddled, sleep 20 hours a day...be able to manipulate my servant into doing whatever I wanted...be a total dick and still be loved. Yup. I could live with that.