I think she's gone and I hate it

[PosiePootlePerkins]

So my rescue cat went missing in early December having only been with us for 4 months We have done absolutely everything we can to try and find her, exhausted every avenue and just don't know what else we can try. I think in my heart of hearts she was knocked down in the very early days, or else someone must have taken her in, which would mean that all of our posters, leaflets and knocking on doors have been in vain. She was microchipped so if someone had handed her in as a stray we would have been informed.
I hate my house without a cat in it. I feel I have let her down. This was supposed to be her forever home.
She had been staying out for longer and longer periods of time, relishing her freedom, coming home for food and to sleep. I think she wandered too far...
I have contacted a couple of rescues because I simply cannot stand to not have a cat. They make a house a home. But also I am judging my ability to keep a new cat safe...
Our old cat lived to the grand old age of 18 but she hardly wandered anywhere.
Sorry for my ramblings but I just needed to get that down, I know some of you will understand.

Sorry you lost your girl op. You didn't let her down. You've done all you can.

Worst thing about being a cat owner is when they just vanish You couldn't have done anything, it's not fair to keep them in all the time so it's not your fault

Maybe she tried to fine her way back to her old haunt from before she lived with you? Could the rescue place give you the old area to look? Just a thought.

Thanks for your kind messages, they mean a lot. She was going stir crazy in the three weeks we kept her inside, she was desperate to get out and explore... I suppose its a risk you take with cats. I think not knowing is the worst, I can't find closure.

Ilove I did contact the rescue when she first went missing and they said they would keep an eye out. I could ask where she originally came from but I don't believe it was very local to us. Thanks for the good suggestion.

I felt like that too, when The Creature died. We had to decant to PILs whilst building stuff was done to our new home. They have a massive house, and DH went into her room to see her one morning, and opened the window, whilst having a smoke. He forgot to close it. She only fell 2 storeys, but caught a stone planter, and died there and then. I was bloody hysterical.

I too doubted my ability to keep a cat safe, yet MCat and Little M are still with me. Like you, I thought long and hard before Little M came to live with us. He'll be 3 soon, had him since 13 weeks. MCat is 6 and was with DH from a kitten.

I have FlatCats mesh on my windows, and they have Loc8tors on their snap release collars (there are better cat locators now, with real time GPS). I lock the flap at night, and by then they're relaxing on their radiator beds. Also kept them indoors for at least 4 weeks, when moving with adult cats, obv. longer with a kitten - until after jabs and neutering, and time to recover.

It sounds as if you did everything you could to find her, Posie. I find it reassuring to know that my cats' insurance and chip details are up to date, as well as them wearing a tracker. But never on those elasticated collars, which can cause slow, painful deaths, only use the snap off ones.

Don't beat yourself up? There are so many cats needing homes.

Ah RubbishMantra I am so sorry that you had to go through that, what an awful thing to have happened, I cannot imagine the heartbreak. I have seen pictures on here of your LittleM, what a gorgeous little cat You were brave to take the plunge again.
I never thought about using a tracker, what a good idea, I shall look into it. I wish Lottie had been wearing one then I would have at least known one way or another.
I have been worried that rescue centres might think badly of me because I couldn't manage to take proper care of Lottie, but I feel I should tell them the truth, and I would so love another chance.

When we moved into our house (years ago) we inherited several cats - one of which lived rough in an outhouse and promptly moved in with our neighbours. Of the other two the female settled happily but the tom just couldn't/wouldn't live with us. We had him neutered and I think that was the final straw, nothing on earth would entice him to stay. He disappeared several times and on one occasion moved to the village about 2 miles away - we claimed him back, kept him in for ages but he jumped out of a first floor window into a tree and went back to the village. The people who had taken him in contacted us but we agreed to leave him there, he obviously didn't want to be ours, had chosen a new home and nothing on earth was changing his mind! It was my first experience of cat ownership and I was a little put out by his obvious dislike but there was no way he'd stay so we had to go with it. He stayed at his new place for a while, but just kept moving around picking whoever offered the best food - he was a nomad! Your girl may well have been an inveterate wanderer and unable to settle anywhere - you tried, that's what counts.

frosty thank you so much. My DH has been saying similar to you, she was going further and further afield and short of shutting her in - which would have sent her mad - there was nothing we could do to stop her. I am going to be honest and say that she was not quite the cat we thought we were getting, we were told she was very friendly but she really wasn't! If you tried to stroke her you never knew if she'd bite you which wasn't very nice for the children, she most definitely was not a lap cat. Which was all fine, we were happy to give her a good home and we did still love her so much. We just accepted her as she was.
If we do take on a new cat I will use a different rescue that really knows the cats and make sure we get a gentle family cat. No guarantees of course but I feel a bit wiser now.
I looked into those cat trackers, and would definitely use one for peace of mind.
Thanks again for your reply.

Just a quick update if anyone is interested! The lady from the rescue came this morning, she was lovely and had been in a similar situation herself with a missing cat. She told us her cat was one of a pair, had been gone for 4 weeks and the other cat was pining, she got a new cat to keep it company, then the original cat came home! So she did understand our situation which really helped.
We have been approved and will be visiting the centre soon to hopefully try and find a new addition to our home!

Ah, well, that is good news.

Don't beat yourself up, she might prefer living wild. Or she might rock up one day like "what? I went out, stop kissing me"

We saw a cat from the next village along living rough with a squirrel in its mouth. Owner had put posters up but it was a Norwegian forest so quite able to live wild. We told them but he still would not go home.