Would your cat kill you if they had a chance? (Lighthearted!)

[Twogoats]

Because I'm pretty sure mine would. Sometimes he watches me for hours, with a look of intense hatred, as if he's planning my murder... He has randomly attacked me a few times too...

Oh I can answer this one!

We have had the cat for 18 years and twice in that time I have woken up from a nap to find that she has taken a mouthful of my face and is cautiously shaking it to see if I am dead.

I need to outlive this cat.

This is my stalker, he is constantly plotting my downfall!

I think four of mine wouldn't - I like to think they luffs me too much, but really I suspect they just know I'm their food-giver.
The fifth, though, is evil!
No-one believes she is, since she's probably the sweetest, ditziest, happiest cat you could meet. She never causes any trouble, loves cuddles and is always happy to see everyone. But when she thinks no-one is looking, you can sometimes see just how cunning she really is. Plus she can be really creepy at times - she'll stop whatever she's doing and just stare blank-eyed at you, or sit in a corner and stare at the wall Blair Witch style. I've also learnt to ignore strange scrabbling sounds down the side of the sofa, as looking over prompts an alien facehugger attack.

I'm on to her...
(Here she is hiding in the rug we'd bought that day).

Glad to hear that I'm not the only cat-slave that will one day vanish mysteriously!