Can someone help explain this cat?

[alltheworld]

We don't have a cat. For the past few weeks a well fed cat with a collar has been coming up to the back door whenever we are there.
The first time I gave it some milk which it didn't want.
It also tries to get in the house.
The kids occasionally play with it, but even when they are not around it hangs around.
It often wags its tail which I thought meant it was unhappy but it seems to like to be around our house?
Is this normal?

Yes, completely normal. hes probably plotting world domination starting with your household!

But why does it hang around when we don't encourage it and does the wagging tail mean it is cross?

It might be lonely. Ndn ginger boy waits on people's door stops for fuss when they go out

There's lots of subtle differences in the way cats "wag" their tails, and different meanings. A slow gentle waving doesn't mean cross, whereas lots of sharp lashing from side to side usually does. The very end twitching often means "hunt" mode, which also can include play.

If the cat was cross, he wouldn't keep coming up and asking for fuss.

Cats get bored and lonely and look for company. My cat goes into neighbours houses and steals things. Other cats beg for food. Lots of cats have lots of owners.

Swishy tail and ears back means they are angry. A swishy tail on its own doesn't.

Slow Tail sswishing can also mean undecided - to take over now or later?Where's the warmest spot? Where's the nearest food? Where's the best plotting spot? That sort of thing.

Also it's best not to give cats milk - they're primarily water drinkers.

I'd love a friendly part time cat, send him my way :)

Cats can't digest milk that easily.

That said, you attempted to feed it which means that you are now one of it's many owners.

Resistance is futile so stock up on some decent cat food, budge up on the sofa and start facing up to your new feline responsibilities.

Basically, the only way to get rid of this cat is to get yourselves a cat

Cats are contrary beasts - they do not expect to be ignored so you not welcoming him into you home is giving him the wrong signals!
There is not much you can do apart from putting him outside every time he comes in and limiting his access points by keeping doors and windows closed.

They are visiting creatures. One human is generally not enough. BogBastard is fed and adored round here but likes to pop next door to play cricket with their kids and 'help' feed their chickens.

We had a small black and white cat visiting for ages, until the arrival of BogBastard. I went so far as to put posters up about him, to discover he lived very happily four doors down, and had about three different names depending who he was calling on!

If you like cat, encourage it but probably don't feed it - if you don't, shoo it off.

Don't feed it.
Don't let it in.
Enjoy your surrogate cat.

Thank you. I don't feed it, don't let it in and haven't offered any milk since the first visit. Thanks for explaining the tail wagging. I guess it is lonely but I am not a cat person and the kids are not very interested either. It really seems to want to be around though...

It probably feels safe around you. We have a couple of visitors, one is a neighbours cat who visits when they're at work. One is a stray who sleeps in a box in the garden! They know we won't hurt them so they come back.