How can I convince OH to get a cat?

[Thurlow]

Because he said yes, and then seems to have changed his mind. Mainly I think because of the potential for putting a cat flap in

I've just been contacted about a gorgeous girl cat who needs to be an indoor cat for at least a few months as she recovers from being poorly. She's beautiful and I desperately want to give her a home!

However I need to do that final convince on OH. Should I just go ahead because he did say yes a few weeks back? I do have to say OH will happily look after any cat once it's in our house, he's had cats growing up and I know he'll fall in love very quickly, I think it's just that he is an eternal procrastinator and is useless at actually making a decision...

Take him to see the cat. My oh wasn't keen on getting a cat til we visited the kittens (one of which became ours) and he went all gooey and soppy over them. Worked a charm :)

How is he showing/what is he saying that shows he's changed his mind?

He said yes, then since has been a little "let's talk about it some more." I know he'll be won over as soon as we get one. I guess I'm just annoyed that he's changed his mind now!

I must convince him to go and see her at the weekend...

Do you have to have a cat flap? We have had cats for years and never had a cat flap!

Difficult. I come as a package deal with cat(s) so you take on me, you take on animals as well. As a result, we don't have 'talks' about cats in this household - except for discussions on practicalities of course.

Having said which, you need to be sure that an addition to the household will be welcome and (potentially) looked after and loved in your absence.

I'd agree with taking him to see her - I'd present it as a 'We're going to see X at.......' though and not as a 'Can we talk about going to see X.....' - even if it's not a done deal. See what happens and how he reacts.

(And a little 'I don't know why she's taken to you so strongly rather than me....' probably wouldn't go amiss either. )

That's what I'm thinking, Wolfie, which is why this cat sounds perfect. If she's indoors for a few months we'll get to see what she is like. She might then be fine with being let out the back door for an hour or so when someone is in. But if she does need a cat flap, we'll have had her for a few months, but which point OH will surely have a different slant on it because he will want what's best for the cat?

What are his objections?
They are a tie and can be hugely costly.

Ha, cozie! I like that

He would definitely take good care of a cat and is not the sort of person to ignore an animal in the house if I wasn't there. I can already see us arguing in the evenings over who a cat would curl up on...

I don't think he has any real objections, he just takes a loooong time to make decisions sometimes. The cost isn't an issue as regards food and insurance, and we have people who could pop in and keep a cat company while we're away, which tbh doesn't happen very often.

And to be fair, you can't tell who a cat might prefer - they make up their own minds about people. (Bad idea to get a cat as a child's 'present'.)

The important personality here is the cat. Even if you'd personally like to have one around, their needs - for love as well as practicals - come before that. If the time really isn't right for some reason, best not to force it.

Does he like surprises?.

He has agreed we can at least go and meet her. He'll give in the moment he sees her, I'm sure!

There you go.

Let us know how things pan out. ( Will you need a home check?)

Years ago one of dhs contractors was on the phone to his wife having a heated "we are not having a dog" conversation with dh in the background murmuring "you're having the dog mate, it's a done deal".

They got the dog.

DP says I can have as many cats as I like so long as he doesn't have to empty the litter trays, ever.

I already do it 4 days per week to his 3 days as a trade off for having two kittens instead of one last year :)

It took me a long time to be persuaded it was a good idea, DH didn't push and to be honest if he had done I might have dug my heels in. People said similar about me falling for them once I'd seen them, it annoyed me and it really wasn't like that, more a case of being happy I could live with them. Two years later and I do love our two and will always take care of them but I have definitely not changed into a cat person, if we were to lose them I'd be in no hurry to replace them. So don't push too hard!

My DH wasn't keen either but we agreed she would my responsibility and I would cover her costs. Within 40 mins of new moggy in our home DH uttered the words 'oh, she is the most lovely cat....' ha!

Also, he says my mood is a lot better as she makes me happy if I come home after a tough day at work.

Our catflap is fantastic (and was pricey due to going into glass) as she comes and goes when she chooses and no litter tray needed. Definitely worth the money and initial faff.

Ah, one condition I made was that we were always going to have litter trays (DH wouldn't have done), I'm a gardener and get so annoyed with cat poo in my garden there's no way I was going to have cats without trays. Different if it isn't a problem where you live though.