Don't feed my cat.

[islurpmyspaghetti]

I'm a Mumsnet poster but I have never visited the Litter Tray before. I think I just need to vent.

I'm sitting beside a bag packed with food and medication because tomorrow I'm rehoming my wonderful wonderful cat.

He's six and we've had him since he was a kitten. Over the past three years, he has been gradually coaxed / enticed away from home and into the house of an elderly lady who lives nearby.

Despite every effort on our part - letters, phone calls, visits, more letters, more phone calls, more visits - we have been unable to convince her that she has not been acting in his best interests by taking him in - for days and nights in her house without a cat flap - and feeding him.

He's on a special diet and she's been giving him cat junk food causing diarrhoea and upset stomachs. She also put a cat bed in her garden to encourage him to sleep there.

We've done everything we can to try and resolve it, including locking him in, but he's an outdoor cat who needs to roam and I'm just not up for trapping him indoors until he submits to our will.

Here's the kicker, the cruel sting in the tail. After Christmas, we gave up and decided he needed a new home. Ours isn't his home any more.

Sadly the lady feeding him told us that she didn't want the responsibility of him.

She's basically forced us to rehome him.

The whole thing has been devastating. Lovely DH has been in tears. We just feel so helpless and like there is nothing we can do.

And we have made the heartbreaking decision to rehome our darling cat.

A plea, I suppose, if you're feeding this to not feed other people's animals. It's strangely cruel and has devastating consequences.

Goodbye to my beloved cat. I will miss you every single day.

Have you shown her a letter from the vets saying that he needs a special diet? I do understand that there are people like this who do behave in disastrously irrational ways when it comes to cats and cannot be dissuaded. It seems so sad but I assume you've tried everything you can to resolve the situation.

Thanks for the reply. I think I just needed to 'get it out there'. We sat down with her to tell her about the medical condition and the vet's advice. Before Christmas, we found out that she had been visiting the vet and asking for medication for him. Sadly, she's entirely unreasonable and I am tired of fighting an unwinnable battle.

Bloody hell, I'm fuming on your behalf.

It's not like she thinks he's homeless and hungry is it? She knows he belongs to you!

Does she know her actions have forced you to re-home him?

Sadly, yes, she knows that he's ours and a very much loved part of our family. I've cried with upset when talking to her about it. We have a DS who loves him so much and has been part of our attempts to constantly retrieve him. We have told her that we are rehoming him today and she shook her head and said that was really sad. It's utterly heart-breaking. I suppose I just have to think that I am doing the right thing by finding a home for him where he can be more settled.

But she does think he's hungry. She doesn't agree with the diet that the vet has recommended so she tops it up with Go Cat biscuits and milk and god knows what else.

I'm so sorry to hear this op

Just to say that if you want to have another cat then rehome an indoor cat perhaps. I've rehomed a lovely Ragdoll who cannot go outside and cars protection will tell you if the cat is indoor or not. I know it won't help your current boy but its worth remembering in the future.

I'd offer to take your boy but my cat can only be the sole cat unfortunately.

Ooh, just had a thought, would cat-proofing your garden be an option islurp?

I was also going to suggest cat-proofing the garden. I know someone who's done it very successfully.

Geez I wouldn't give up my cat. I'd get a restraining order instead!!

Does she have family you can speak to?

I'm wondering if she might have dementia.

We have spoken to her friends and her cat-loving neighbour and she seems to listen and then reverts to irrational behaviour. Sadly I just wasn't able to get through to her. I wish it might have been different. Cat-proofing the garden might have been an option. We have sadly missed the boat.

Don't re home him, contact the police as her behaviour is completely out of order.

We actually did speak to the police but the other issue we had to consider is disrupting the life of a lonely old lady and the effects that might have on the neighbourhood. He has gone to a very happy home with lovely people. I am just gutted that it had to happen. It began to feel totally helpless.

It's worth saying that as of Friday, sadly he hadn't come home of his own accord for months.

I am so sorry for you, and your poor cat, what an upset to both your lives because of this woman's insensitive actions. It does sound as if she has mental health issues. A totally sad situation all round.

I do feed stray and feral cats that turn up, but only if I'm 100% sure that they aren't from the local area (tiny village so tend to know all the neighbourhood animals.) and I make a concerted effort to locate the owners. I'd be mortified to think I'd enticed someones much loved pet away, so I'm always careful and you can usually tend when an animal is desperate for help.

When you feel ready then perhaps cat proofing your garden and homing another cat might be the way forwards for you.

I'm so sorry this has happened. people are shits. I'd be inclined to keep my cat and ask the police and vet to have a serious word with the lady concerned.

my cat is indoor and perfectly happy but she's always been indoor. she's adapted from a 3 storey house to the 1 bed flat I moved into last year when my marriage ended. is there any mileage at all in keeping him in for a couple of weeks as if you've moved? then cat proof the garden before letting him out again?

ugh. what an awful situation :(

Tell, not tend!

Just to add that if you've still got him or if the new adoptive family didn't mind if they already have him, then I would try keeping him and cat proofing the garden. It would be expensive but worth every penny if it works and save your family the heartbreak of losing him.

Bless you OP.

Am I out of order for wanting to go round there and give her a slap?

Thank you very much, RubbishMantra. That's made me smile and yes, yes please.

In seriousness, thank you for all the lovely replies and thoughts. Perhaps we might have made a more concerted effort to cat proof the garden.

In truth, I think I have to accept that we have found him a lovely home that overlooks fields rather than a crazy old lady who is cruel by being kind.

I am a long way off considering any more pets. It really hurts at the moment.

similar happened to me, OP.
Older woman, feeding my cat rubbish. Cat would turn up occasionally with bad tummy and then one day, the woman turned up on my doorstep with the cat, saying if needed to go to the vet and we weren't looking after it properly. Cat had bald patches all over, we hadn't seen her for months.
The woman had kept her inside, fed her rubbish and then brought her back when she needed treatment. I was furious and really let rip when shed came round. Later she sent round some friends of hers (also older women) to reprimand me!
fortunately, we moved house. But I Todd discover that she'd done it with more than one cat.

We have someone who has been doing the same with our Burmese. It makes me v .

We put a tracking device on her collar, and so far that seems to have done the trick. I think the neighbours are worried about getting a knock on the door at 11pm some night demanding the cat back.