Behavioural issues

[Allinafankle]

Hi, my 3 yr old male rescue cat will sometimes lunge at me and clamp himself onto my legs. He only ever does this when I'm alone with him and has never done it to DH, who thinks "he's only playing". Well he hasn't seen him do it and it certainly doesn't look like he's playing to me! Other times he'll sit happily on my lap and be as nice as pie, again something he doesn't do with DH. When we took him to the vet recently for his yearly check up it mentioned it as advised in books and forums, but she couldn't have been less interested, only saying that some cats have complex behavioural issues and offering no advice. He's our first cat and don't really know what to do about it - any ideas anyone?

It sounds as if he's over-stimulated in some way and lunging at you as a sort of punch bag to get it all out of his system. (Some cats have 'thinner skins' than other cats and react a bit more to stimuli and tensions so probably need a lowering of emotional temperature.) What does he have to do normally in the way of games around the household - and does he go outside at all? Can you identify any common factors in the build up to this behaviour?

Oh - as he's a rescue cat, I'm guessing he's been neutered already?

Sorry, no advice to offer, just letting you know you're not alone, I too have an angsty cat. He'll lunge even when I'm sitting still, with a murderous look in his eyes. He scares my friends when he sits next to them, with his air of menace.

I think it's because he wasn't socialised well as a kitten. He's calmed down though, as he's got older. He's five. Actually, now I think about it, he's calmed down a lot since we added our kitten to the household. We were a bit worried that he might murder the kitten at first, and didn't leave them alone together. MKitten is very happy-go-lucky and balanced, so maybe a calming influence on MCat?

Does he have toys? Something to kick and get it out of his system?.

Anything you can throw up/down the stirs tires them out quickly.

Does he have toys? He has more than Pets At Home but he's not the least bit interested in any of them except very occasionally his laser pen which I keep on my key ring to try and distract him when he goes for me. But mostly he just looks at me as if to say and what do you expect me to do with that?!
Yes he's been neutered and has access to outside, although again he's not really that interested in being out.

You have probably done this but, have you studied him for any warning signs that he will do it? Does his facial expression change for example or is he getting hungry? If you can recognise the signs you may be able to pre-empt the behaviour and stop it before it happens.

Maybe have a read of this to get the picture in the round? (If he has dried food at all, I'd go for a foraging toy as a quick start - kibble balls are easily and cheaply obtainable if you're not up to actually making a foraging toy yet.)

Otherwise, I'd (as above) lower the emotional intensity for him a bit because he sounds as if he's a little obsessed with you. (Does he have any oriental in him do you know?) Always let him make the running when it comes to physical affection (talking to him is fine) and if he shows any signs of building up to a lunge, put him outside the room and close the door for a cooling off period - about 20 minutes, say. (Then just open the door and let him decide if he wants to come back in - no invitations.)

Thanks for that link cozietoesie - that's really useful. He does have a couple of different kibble toys because he's a greedy so and so and we thought that would slow him down a bit ... but he just sits beside them and waits for DH to move them for him!

It's usually when I come in from work that he goes for me, not straight away but when I'm getting myself sorted out (I look out the next day's clothes, get changed - the usual). It's not that he's been on his own all day either as DH works from home.

Sounds as if he has a 'thing' about you - it happens - so when you come home, he's so excited and stimulated that it all boils up inside him and has to come out somewhere. I'd give him lots of verbal attention as soon as you come home and then keep up a running conversation with him until he goes off to do someting else/eat his supper. (It doesn't need to be Shakespearean in quality - I can keep going on autopilot for hours with variations of 'Who's a Boy', 'Ah Hah?' and 'Unh-Hunh'.) If he forgets himself and has a go then Exclude him as above - he should learn fairly quickly that being good mannered gets you conversation and attention.

Maybe try it for a day or so anyway and see how things go?

PS - does he sleep with you? That sometimes helps a lot if you have a person-obsessed cat.