Dear Staff

[Lonecatwithkitten]

Dear Staff

You have just informed me that I need to move so you can sit in the seat. My solution is in fact that I temporarily move aside for you to sit down and then you then make your lap available to me.
Failure to comply is not an option.

Yours

The cat in charge of the house

You move cats off chairs? Pretty sure that's not allowed you know.

I bet it wasn't evil cat who got moved.

Oh it was the evil one, I am sure he deliberately populates my seat to have a confrontation. He did of course settle on my lap for a few minutes bite me and then leave.

Dear cat who would like to be in charge of the house.

Off.

Yours

The woman who is actually in charge of the house.

I sense someone who is thoroughly under the paw, Lone ?

If you move either of mine they look v affronted and then sit right up next to you, so close that they have their front paws on or poking under your thighs. Not sitting on your lap. Oh no. They are making a point and invading the space, trying to physically push you off instead.

You should put a cushion on the seat. That way you pick them up cushion and all.

I gave up trying to control fluffy cat ages ago. He only listens to mil & we think she might have hurt him while we were away so I feel horribly guilty about it.

My cat decided that half way through applying nail varnish would be an excellent time for him to sit on my lap earlier. I couldn't lift him down because of wet nails so had to wait for DH to finish what he was doing and rescue me!

Dear staff,

If I decide not to stay out overnight, please do not call round my lady friends looking for me-it's embarrassing. The solution is for you to stop working and stay at home to hand feed me chicken breast and paddock from the fish shop.

Yours
The boss

*haddock. Kindle is not conducive to tired out paws.