AIBU - what would your cat post?

[Pointlessfan]

I spent all morning sunbathing in front of the big window and all afternoon asleep on the spare bed. When I woke up Slave 1 and Slave 2 were too busy eating their dinner to play with me. All I wanted was a lap to sit on. AIBU?

That's the totally unreasonable behaviour our cat complained about loudly throughout our dinner tonight, complete with wide-eyed guilt-trip look that he has perfected. What would your cat post?

AIBU to fill the kitchen with dead mouse corpses today because I was held hostage all day yesterday because next door were moving out and there was a lovely looking giant van with a ramp and everything to investigate??

AND then in the afternoon ANOTHER giant van with a ramp arrived and I was still confined against my will, whilst my Mortal Enemy, Timmy From Up The Road was seen on the ramp, and IN the van being allowed to sniff all the things whilst everyone was trying to get a sofa into the hose via the teeny doors.

Grey girl: AIBU to talk to slave 1 at 3 am when I need some company? AIBU to expect him to know why I'm talking? Really now, he puts more food and water in the bowls, opens the window, talks back and me... and no I don't want to be scratched behind the ears, you know I don't like that.

Ginger girl: AIBU to expect slave 2 to stand and do whatever with her laptop if I'm lying on her chair? AIBU to run around the house like a mad thing looking for the marbles I lost? I'm sure the slaves have hidden them somewhere.