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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

our cat bit dd :(

24 replies

Koothrapanties · 31/07/2014 18:37

Koothracat bit our dd :(

Back story, dd is 9 months, and since she was born koothracat has refused to leave her alone. I posted ages ago asking what I should do as i was worried dd would irritate koothracat (KC) and was told not to worry, that as KC was the one approaching dd, she was obviously ok with things.

KC has run of the whole flat (she's an indoor cat) and dd is confined to the lounge unless under supervision. KC can leave the room at any point through the baby gate and also has a ceiling high cat scratcher so can escape upwards.

KC has continued to seek dd out and we are trying to teach dd to be gentle. I sit with her and show her how to stroke KC gently, saying ahhh gentle. Dd loves KC but doesn't often approach her, it is usually the other way around.

Today, KC was on the sofa and dd was standing with me next to her. KC nuzzled at dd and dd stroked her back really quite gently (as gentle as an uncoordinated 9 month old can be). KC then turned and bit dd on the hand, but still didn't move. Dd started to cry and KC only moved away when I shouted no and pushed her away.

KC was not cornered in anyway, could have moved at any point and was the one to initiate the contact with dd. Dd had been standing jabbering away at me until KC nuzzled her.

What do I do now? What am I doing wrong? I had planned on a no touch policy until dd was much older, but KC seeks her out all the time, so felt bad for pushing her away (that's why I started the previous thread).

DH has said if it keeps happening then KC will have to go. I really need some advice.

OP posts:

wantacatplease · 31/07/2014 19:01

Others more experienced than me will come along soon, but is it possible she sees dd as another kitten to play with?

RandomDiva · 31/07/2014 19:05

Did her teeth break the skin? I ask in case of infection.

Did the cat growl or snarl? If not it was probably a warning nip or even just a playful nip. I had a cat who bit a lot, but not aggressively. It was just her way.

Branleuse · 31/07/2014 19:26

not much you can do really. maybe shoo the cat away if it hangs around dd.

Original poster

Koothrapanties · 31/07/2014 19:29

It left a mark but didn't break the skin. I think it was a warning nip, but dd didn't do anything wrong :(

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Original poster

Koothrapanties · 31/07/2014 19:29

Sorry no growling or snarling

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Original poster

Koothrapanties · 31/07/2014 19:31

Want she looked annoyed, not playful.

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Iggly · 31/07/2014 19:33

Sorry but your dd is 9 months old? You've got a long wait before she can truely learn gentle. They're very impulsive and even if they know what gentle means, they may still be rough.

I am with your DH on this one. I have a fear of cats - my mum had one and I can only presume it must have bit or scratched me when very young as my fear is completely irrational I.e. I cannot explain it.

natenewt · 31/07/2014 19:38

I have an indoor cat too. She has bitten all of my dc's at some point when they have been too rough. It's her warning them, she has never broken the skin and the dc's have quickly learned that the cat is not a toy.

NatashaBee · 31/07/2014 19:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Koothrapanties · 31/07/2014 19:45

The stupid thing is, dd has been rougher than that with kc before and kc has purred and rubbed herself up against her (with me hovering ready to pull dd away).

Iggly, I agree dd has no concept of gentle at the minute, but I thought if I start really early showing her that she has to be gentle and stopping her every time she isnt then she would grow up knowing that you have to treat KC gently.

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Original poster

Koothrapanties · 31/07/2014 19:45

Sha

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Original poster

Koothrapanties · 31/07/2014 19:45

Nit sure

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ZenGardener · 31/07/2014 19:47

Our cat loves the baby too. I guess she is warm and smells of milk. He is usually ok but once he did sort of pounce on her and scratch her which made her cry. I think it was a playful pounce though. We have other children and know that he's a very gentle cat. I wouldn't get rid if I were you.

Original poster

Koothrapanties · 31/07/2014 19:48

Oh my days! Not sure what happened there.

Nat that is what I assumed she would do, but the day we brought dd home, she licked her on the head and then kept coming over to sniff her. Since then she hasn't stopped and comes straight to her when she enters the room. She has been very patient and sits for ages while I show dd to be gentle. I think that's why I'm so shocked by today.

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Fuzzymum1 · 31/07/2014 21:21

I have a cat who bits because he loves me - there is never any malice behind it, if we're enjoying a good fuss session he gets so happy he nips me - it's only ever me and I am definitely his favourite person. As KC is seeking DD out it could be that she adores her a bit too much. Fuzzycat grabs hold of a bit of skin and just holds it - enough to hurt a bit without breaking the skin.

RandomDiva · 31/07/2014 21:55

I wouldn't worry. My cat bit for all kinds of strange reasons. She never hurt the children. She nipped them but never broke the skin. She would also bite me when she sensed I was in pain, or if I cried out in pain. I once banged my elbow and yelped and she came running over from the other end of the house and sank her teeth in ??

I would be more wary of snarling, unexplained hissing. Which are good warning signs.

Cats don't usually actually hurt children unless the children hurt them. And when your baby becomes a toddler and a bit more rough the cat will probably cope or just stay out of the way.

Original poster

Koothrapanties · 01/08/2014 09:03

Thanks very much, I will just have to see how things go.

I felt so sad yesterday as dd loves KC. She has started to say 'dat!' (Cat) when she sees her or a picture of a cat and is always so happy to see her.

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micah · 01/08/2014 09:16

Mine did this :)

With him it was a bit of a dominance thing, he'd just randomly bite us. Not aggressively, never broke the skin, just a nip to try and show who's boss.

Conversely, we found absolutely not reacting worked. Apparently if you pull away and squeak it triggers their prey drive and they start to enjoy it. He gave up trying fairly soon.

I wouldn't worry about cats biting either. I'd be far more worried about scratching, claws can do far more damage and it is much more likely to be agressive.

UriGeller · 01/08/2014 09:18

I think your cat has been testing its boundaries, just like your baby is doing, stretching a little as they both grow. Cat now sees that baby isn't a fragile newborn and so doesn't have to be so subservient. Baby now reaches for cat in a way that may harm so nips baby to keep her in line. I guess like a mother cat will nip the kitten if it gets too rough.

In my experience, this is how their relationship develops, we've always had cats and babies and watching them learn about each other is fascinating.

I bet your dd and KC are going to be inseparable before long

CarbeDiem · 01/08/2014 11:51

My cat nips too but not out of malice and never breaks the skin. Usually out of impatience or if he wants something. E.g - if I'm stroking him and stop he'll nip my hand to tell me to continue. Or if he has enough of circling my legs for food he'll nip my ankle to tell me to hurry up.
Micah might be onto something with the reacting to it - my cat definitely takes pleasure in my 'owws' he'll do it again quite quickly after. If I don't react he usually won't.

It sounds like you couldn't have really done anything more to keep both dd and the cat safe. I'd forgive kitty this time but keep a close eye in the future.

elfycat · 01/08/2014 12:14

My Dcat seems to bite me when she's happy, a kind of mouthing cuddle I guess. OK she's bonkers but she suits the rest of the household. Does she do affectionate nip/chews, or rub her face so hard that it's teeth contacting?

She's done it to the DDs but they were probably around 18 months by the time they could catch up with her play. Dcat wasn't interested in babies. They had warning nips if play got too rough. I get warning nips if I scruff her up too much. Or if she gets too ecstatic.

They've also cornered her along with a couple of friends and having ignored the warning growls and attempts to escape 2x 3 year olds ended up quite badly scratched AND told off. If a cat wants to cause damage they would have no problem doing so - if the skin wasn't broken then it wasn't an attack.

Original poster

Koothrapanties · 01/08/2014 13:30

KC has been noticeably absent today. She is hiding in one of the bedrooms. I don't think she liked the reaction she got and is avoiding us. She came into the lounge briefly earlier and rubbed up against dd, but otherwise hasn't showed her face. Hmm hopefully she won't do it again.

Good to know it wasn't an attack, but it definitely wasn't a playful nip. She does that to dh when he plays rough.

I think she wanted to nuzzle dd, but didn't actually want dd to stroke her so tried to get her to stop.

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SugarPlumTree · 01/08/2014 13:37

I'd just have a quick look over her and check the cat hasn't got a bit that DD touched, just in case.

I had an unpredictable nippy cat,some seem to be just like that. But worth checking there isn't anything physical behind it.

Original poster

Koothrapanties · 01/08/2014 19:19

Just had a look, nothing that I can see. She is jumping about and climbing her cat scratcher as normal now so doesn't seem to be in any pain. Maybe she was just in a mood. It happens to the best of us!

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