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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Standoffish cat.

27 replies

Pipbin · 26/07/2014 10:30

Bincat has never been a cuddley lap cat, but she has always sought our company.
Now she doesn't sleep on the bed, she doesn't wake us up, and she doesn't sit with us.

She is about 1.5 and we've had her since January.

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Original poster
Pipbin · 26/07/2014 10:31

I meant to say, any idea what is happening? Is she being a teenager?

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GemmaTeller · 26/07/2014 10:35

Boycat is 3.5 and the most affection I get is about a minute a day.

He doesn't like being picked up, doesn't like being cuddled, won't sit on my knee and won't come in the house if we have visitors.

The only time he's remotely friendly is when he comes to get DH to walk round the garden with him (?) and in winter when its freezing he'll get under the duvet.

Liney15 · 26/07/2014 10:38

Maybe she's too hot with the hot weather - ours still comes for a cuddle then immediately gets off and goes to sit by herself as she doesn't like being too warm.

ppeatfruit · 26/07/2014 10:45

Our female cat is friendly(she only allows between her ears to be stroked without getting annoyed) but totally on her terms; she's been like this for the 9 years we've had her and she was rescued at one year old, which suits me but dh likes cuddly cats; IME they tend to be male neutered. Females IME are more territorial than males in that they 'defend' their homes against all comers. Or maybe it's just our female Grin.

ppeatfruit · 26/07/2014 10:49

She is neutered btw but only when we had her so maybe would 've been different if she'd been neutered earlier ? We have a lot of strays here (Fr.) they are all neutered and get very friendly when they come to trust us.

Original poster
Pipbin · 26/07/2014 10:50

It might be the heat. She is a long short haired black cat, iyswim. Although she's a short hair it is thick and fluffy. She does seem to spend time lying on the kitchen floor, I'm guessing to cool down.

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PushPineapple · 26/07/2014 10:50

Female cats tend to be more aloof than male cats- I have one of each. It's just what they are like, in my experience.

She was dreadful when she was young, but something changed when she was about 5/6 and now she will approach for fusses. She still isn't keen on you approaching her for more than a very quick couple of strokes.

Original poster
Pipbin · 26/07/2014 10:51

Oh, she was a rescue at about 9 months and therefore has 'been done'.

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cozietoesie · 26/07/2014 11:26

It might be the weather. Even Seniorboy - who is deeply bonded to me - becomes a little tetchy in the unaccustomed heat and lies away from me much of the time. (I think he actually blames me for not having the temperature 'just so' and is making his displeasure felt as best he can.)

Can you tie her changed behaviour down to anything such as temperature - or even a change in household routine or inhabitants?

Original poster
Pipbin · 26/07/2014 13:56

We have both been very stressed lately, teachers, end of term. The holidays have started but she won't have really noticed that as we were both at work Thursday, Friday and will be on Monday.

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cozietoesie · 26/07/2014 15:06

Ah well, if you're stressed, she may have picked up on that or on subtly changed behaviour on your part - and as she's recent to you, that may, with the weather, be enough to set her off. Hopefully, you'll all be able to relax a little next week.

Do you know any of her history?

Fluffycloudland77 · 26/07/2014 15:12

Ours isn't asking for fuss either, it's too hot.

I get the odd playful swipe on the leg as I pass instead.

LegoSuperstar · 26/07/2014 15:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chockbic · 26/07/2014 15:14

They seem to go a bit wilder in the summer.

She might come round when it cools down.

cozietoesie · 26/07/2014 20:13

Just to note - it's been raining and the temperature has suddenly dropped by several degrees with a bit of a breeze coming through the windows. And Seniorboy is all over me.

Original poster
Pipbin · 26/07/2014 23:53

I'm getting more affection from nextdoor's cat than I am from her!
We know nothing of her history other than she was abandoned and brought into the RSPCA last November.

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cozietoesie · 27/07/2014 07:56

I'd give it at least a few days of lower temperatures and the family being more relaxed with the holidays soon with you. Just stick by your normal routines as best you can.

Cats, like humans, have moods and times when they're a bit 'off' with life and if she was abandoned, she may have some ishoos. (If she's allowing them to slurp all over her personal landscape, that's not necessarily a negative thing - she might be relaxing now and allowing herself some temperament. Even if not, the fact that you're being a bit 'odd' (your stress) and yet nothing will happen to her will give her some confidence.)

Best of luck and let us know how things go.

cozietoesie · 27/07/2014 08:00

PS - how long have you been cuddling up with next door's cat and do they come in your house? (I'm wondering if she could also be a bit edgy about another cat/cat smell being around the place.)

TillyWithercoat · 27/07/2014 10:22

One of mine rarely asks for fuss, but will brush against me legs at food time. She's prefectly happy doing her own thing - lying in the sun or on a comfy cushion. I leave her to it and my other cats give me cuddles.

ppeatfruit · 27/07/2014 10:32

Agree about the heat. Millie goes off her food a bit when it's very hot and just lies in the shade outside (she stays out all night more too). but she's sweetly asking for more food now so it must be bit cooler! They are good weather forecasters aren't they?

Original poster
Pipbin · 27/07/2014 13:13

I think poor old next door cat is somewhat unloved. So we make a fuss of it out of pity, that and he/she sleeps on our drive. He/she doesn't come in as we have a microchip cat flap.

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cozietoesie · 27/07/2014 13:48

Goodness - what does it do in winter/bad weather?

Original poster
Pipbin · 27/07/2014 14:04

Nextdoor does have a cat flap so she can go inside, but I have seen her sitting in the porch of our house or one of the houses over the road in the rain. (1930s bay fronted semi with open storm porches.)

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ppeatfruit · 27/07/2014 14:05

Cats are odd creatures, we've cared for a lot of 'strays' who just appear in our garden they're always neutered males. Our cat millie won't let them in our house ,but we have a decent barn\grange with comfortable beds in it for them and only one very elderly cat has ever used it to stay out of the rain and cold, they have the option but don't take it and make us feel guilty!

Original poster
Pipbin · 27/07/2014 14:05

I think she, I have decided it's a she, is fed and watered, just not treated like a baby stroked and petted as much as our shameless baby substitute cat.

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