Rehoming cats am I in the wrong?

[MrsDeadfield]

Ok we lost our lovely boy in April to a car accident, was away at the time and he was found by next door neighbour, myself and partner obviously devastated. Fast forward 6 months and I am desperate for a new cat, would like to rehome this time, so saw a lovely 5 month male v similar to our old one on cats protection, emailed them he is available and they would like him to be homed with his brother, I thought great, as would like them to be house cats to avoid same accident again, and can keep each other company, cats protection want me to see ASAP.

Speak to partner and he has not entertained the idea whatsoever, so much so that we had a massive row and I am really upset, he is giving feeble excuses as to why we can't go and see them and it's really made me angry as i feel he doesn't care. He said is is still upset over our boy, and needs time to think. Am I being unreasonable to be angry as I really think he needs to move on and he would love the cats if they were here?

Sorry didn't realise would be so long!

People grieve in different ways and to different timescales in my experience. When my boys have gone, I've mourned them intensely for a shortish period and then given a home to a new boy - but I know many other people will mourn for months or even years and couldn't abide a new cat in that period because of the assoications.

I would really counsel against getting a new cat/pair of cats until you and your partner are closer together in wanting to open up your home again. If you acquired a new incumbent earlier than your partner could tolerate, they might come to resent it which would be deeply unfair on the animal.

Wait two weeks and it'll all be his idea.

Drop it and keep quiet, slowly slowly catchy "not coming to the party oh"

I agree that he has to be ready and willing for it to be right. his grief and your grief don't necessarily follow the same time scale and whilst you may be ready he isn't. let him get there in his own time. it's not worth the upset to any of you (cats included) if you get a cat against his wishes.

But Fluffy has a point. The idea has been planted and will percolate in his mind. If you let it lie, he may come round to the idea more quickly.