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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

My old cat is poorly and not eating :(

18 replies

ILovePonyo · 19/09/2013 08:26

And I've had to leave her as I'm on training today so dp is going to take her to the vets this morning hopefully.

She's not been eating for a day or 2 at least, but we only realised last night. She s been sleeping a lot and was all weak and floppy this morning, she's 12 years old.

Has anyone else had this and can at least reassure me she's not in any pain? I feel shitty for leaving her but work would have been charged had I cancelled this training last minute, also dd was a nightmare to get out of the house this morning for nursery because id put the cat on one o her blankets

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Original poster

ILovePonyo · 19/09/2013 08:56

Bumping my thread

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hugoagogo · 19/09/2013 09:00

Poor you, I hope she gets on ok at the vet and you have some news soon.

Your dp is taking her so you have nothing to feel bad about; cats are so independent that it's not surprising you didn't notice straight away, we get so used to them mostly looking after themselves.

cozietoesie · 19/09/2013 09:13

Best of luck, OP. Getting her to the vet is the best and right thing.

Let us know how she gets on.

Original poster

ILovePonyo · 19/09/2013 11:01

Just on break, my cat died at the vets as they were soon blood tests. I feel awful, they said it was peaceful but I wish I'd been with her

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Original poster

ILovePonyo · 19/09/2013 11:01

*doing not soon

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cozietoesie · 19/09/2013 11:12

Oh I'm so sorry, ILOvePonyo. You all did absolutely the right thing in getting her up there as soon as you realized there was something wrong. And your DP was there with her, no? She wouldn't have felt alone.

issey6cats · 19/09/2013 12:30

so sorry i had this with my 12 year old and it was her kidneys had massively failed, two days before she had been hunting mice cats dont show that they are ill sometimes untill its very serious

thecatneuterer · 19/09/2013 12:53

Oh I'm so sorry. Sometimes it can be sudden. Did the vet have any theories? Anyway don't blame yourself. You took her to the vet as soon as you realised. You couldn't have done more.

Original poster

ILovePonyo · 19/09/2013 14:49

Thanks all. Am going to go to the vets later today when finished on training. Will update with what vet says.

Does anyone know what I can say to 2.6 yo dd? I'm not sure how to tell her.

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hugoagogo · 19/09/2013 15:29

Oh so sorry to hear this, it's so horrible to lose a pet.

I would just be honest with your dd, you don't want to confuse her.

Original poster

ILovePonyo · 19/09/2013 16:45

No that's true, so just say puss has died which means we won't see her anymore but she wasn't hurting and the vet looked after her?

Just on the way to pick dd up then going to the vet.

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cozietoesie · 19/09/2013 16:52

Yes - use 'died' and 'gone' - definitely not 'sleep' or anything like that. You don't need DD worried about sleeping herself. I'd see if you can steer her on to how to bury her/her ashes - perhaps in the garden with a nice plant or stone over or something?

Original poster

ILovePonyo · 19/09/2013 18:25

Ah been to the vets, puss had fluid on her lungs and the vets were with her when she died, they saw her stop breathing and said she probably would have died today at home so maybe best dp took her in?

Have told dd that cat died so we wouldn't see her again but the vet had looked after her. Dd looked horrified then said "but where's scrappy?!" (We have 2 younger cats, one of them called scrappy) then dd went off to find scrappy in the garden so she handled it ok I think!

Thanks everyone for being so kind today

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timtam23 · 19/09/2013 22:34

Ponyo I am so sorry

My old cat stopped eating over the weekend and I had to have her put to sleep on Monday but it was not entirely unexpected as she was 18 and we had been told she had kidney failure

It is really tough and there are always the "if only's"

I felt bad that I had got back from work very late all of last week and hadn't had time to really look at how my cat was doing, I think we could have gone to the vet a bit earlier and I hope she didn't suffer at all as a result.

My youngest is 3 and we kept things simple but honest for him, said the cat was dead rather than saying "put to sleep" and said she had been very poorly, too poorly for the vet to make her better. The DSs dealt with it in a very logical way & then asked what was for tea they have cried a little but are mostly absolutely fine - they drew a picture of the cat for me which was lovely & made me cry

Be gentle on yourself and remember the happy times with her

WinterWinds · 20/09/2013 12:55

Ponyo and Timtam

My thoughts are with you both.

3 1/2 weeks ago I had to have my 12 year old male pts. He stopped eating and drinking over the Bank Holiday weekend so couldn't get to the vet until the Tuesday. He also had Kidney and heart failure and he was shutting down. I knew it was time but still one of the hardest things I had to do especially as our 11 month old female had been run over outside our house 4 days earlier.

Explaining to my heartbroken DD (10) was even harder as she was hysterical. These two were her absolute best friends but I kept it truthful and told her exactly what happens when the vets euthanize a pet. I think younger children can deal with it more as it is explained in simple terms. Older children (well my dd does anyway!) need to know the in's and out's of everything to fully understand and accept it.
We have lost 4 cats in 4 years and it was certainly easier for DD to accept the death of the other 2 when she was 6 and 8yo. She has asked lots more questions this time maybe its because we lost 2 in such a short time I don't know.

Just keep the good memories to the forefront of your mind and try not to keep going over the "what if's and the "if onlys" as hard as that is.

I have finally realised that it does no good and am torturing myself by doing this.

Best wishes Xx

VeganCow · 22/09/2013 23:39

Sorry to everyone who has lost a cat on this thread.
Winterwinds I know what you mean about going over the what ifs and only. It doesn't do any good does it.Those who love their pets the most seem to carry the most guilt.

Original poster

ILovePonyo · 23/09/2013 21:34

Oh it's so sad isn't it. Thanks to all who said to avoid saying cat had "gone to sleep", very good advice as I think I would have said it in a very well meaning way otherwise. Dd is 2.6 and doesn't understand that well, she's asked for cat a few times but hasn't got upset.
Tbh I think it's easier telling a 2yo than a 10 yo winterwinds, your poor dd. how is she now?

Thanks to everyone again for being so kind. I keep noticing the cats bowl isn't on the floor where it used to be and feeling a bit sad :(

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timtam23 · 23/09/2013 22:36

Ponyo my thoughts are with you, it is a sad time, I have the same moments, my cat had "her" places to sit and I see them out of the corner of my eye but she isn't there

We took in a stray kitten a few weeks ago and if he were not around I'd be in a much more mournful state of mind - impossible to stay sad when a kitten is tearing about (we also have a 17 yr old male cat but he is on a slow downhill progression as well).

I'm picking up my cat's ashes from the vet tomorrow and also dropping off her unused medication and an unopened bag of prescription food - strangely I felt quite upset gathering all of that together

Take care Ponyo

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