Will he have to go?

[Thingymajigs]

My partner bought his cat to live with us last year to join my two cats. This didn't go well despite our best efforts and his cat now has a long line of hair missing on his back due to stress biting. We have tried Feliway but nothing helps, his cat stalks the other two and starts fights constantly. He must be so stressed to bite his fur off to the point of drawing blood but nothing we do will calm him down.
The vet has suggested steroid treatment next but deep down I think this is futile as its almost certainly psychological. DP would be distraught if his cat had to live with his mum even though it seems to be the only sensible answer.
Has anyone seen a cat recover from this sort of stress reaction? Or will I have to prepare DP to send his cat away?

Not such an extreme reaction but they do recover when the stressors are taken away. Not quite immediately (because they remain suspicious for a good bit - small sounds or actions can trigger it) but reasonably quickly.

If your DP's mum will give the cat a good holiday, it might be worth considering to see how it goes. Sometimes it's the only solution despite best efforts. How far away does she live ? (So that your DP could go see him for example.)

She doesn't live that far away and DP commutes past there so he could see him whenever he wants but he's very attached to his cat.
That sounds like a really good idea actually. I was trying to avoid moving him unless it was permanent but putting it that way seems like an ideal solution. It would give us a chance to see if he improves and wouldn't be as hard on DP if it was a gradual thing.
I'm with them all day so I can see the constant tension between the cats but DP works full time so he can pretend everything is ok for the most part but he needs to face the reality of the situation really.
Thanks! I will suggest this to him after the next trip to the vets on Saturday.

It doesn't need to be presented negatively either - for the long term if that's how things work out. It sounds as if she lives by herself (?) and if so, she might be very pleased with having a companion, especially one that maintains a bond with your DP.

There is a sort of steroid (not quite) called ovarid which can be really effective for this kind of thing, really relaxes the cat and sorts skin issues at the same time. If you can get to a low dose, usually every three days or so, it's pretty safe for a good while. Might be worth asking your vet about it.

Thanks miggy - interesting. I presume by 'pretty safe for a good while' you're hinting that there are side effects for long term use?

Yes I've used Ovarid very effectively in this situation. And yes, all steroids have risks long term, but the idea with this is that it calms down the aggression and the cat basically learns a new way of behaving, so that even when the Ovarid is stopped the cat has already calmed down and doesn't generally revert to being aggressive in that situation again

Can your vet recommend a cat behaviorist? In conjunction with your vet shorter term medication alongside behavioral therapy will give you the best shot at sorting this with the least upset to the cat.

I'm not ignoring the great previous advice but having a home assessment with cats is really important. It will also give you the best idea as to which medication will be most effective and allow holistic treatment taking your other cats into account as well.
If you can afford it it is worth considering. As now there is habitual over grooming/self mutilation, multicat household, no settling after move and constant conflict - after a year it is well learned behavior and a long time to be unhappy. That isn't meant to sound as harsh as it, hopefully doesn't, come across. There can be blips in the road - having someone to call on can smooth the way is all I mean.

Whatever you decide, I'm sure will be the best, your dp sounds like he really loves his cat, best of luck.

Behaviour...American auto corner.

Correct. Autocorrect.

I'll get my coat...

Thanks so much for the advice everyone. We are quite worried about him so this is really helpful.
My concern with steroids were the side effects and I couldn't imagine how it would work unless it was used constantly. I couldn't imagine an end to the need for the medication. But regarding the side effects, they can't be any worse than the things he is putting himself through with the stress so we will definitely ask the vet at the weekend.
I hadn't thought about hiring a cat behaviourist but we have tried a lot of ideas that we have found online regarding feeding areas, litter trays and hiding spaces but to no avail. I think it could be an option depending on the cost.

How is your home set up?

If cats don't belong to the same social group it is really stressful for them - as you know.

Can DP's cat have his own space. Preferably with his out route in/out. Somewhere he can sleep, eat and use his tray?

Where he has to cross the other cats' territory can you give him somewhere high he can walk - a bookshelf or such like? When cats cross territory they prefer to be high up - that's why you see them walking along the top of fences.

In fact he might even settle in a high place himself, can you put his bed on top of a wardrobe and restrict access to the other cats?

We are limited with space but we make sure each cat has its own resting space, sleeping area, eating area and litter tray. My oldest cat is the alpha and she is very agile so she prefers the top of the wardrobe especially since DP's cat has moved in. DP's cat is very young but large and clumsy. Jumping is not really his thing, bless him.
I have placed a rug down for him which he loves but he is now using it as some kind of fort where he watches the other two and pounces on them when they try to get past.
I'm concerned for the other cat who is very placid and is getting bullied from both of them. She can't rest atm. But if I focus on DP's cat I think everything will settle.
I was hoping one of the cats would make more use of the large living room to give each other a bit more space but none of them seem interested in that room. Fingers crossed that when the weather warms up they will want to spend more time outside away from each other.

I think it would be a good idea to have a word with the vet, Thingy. You have the option of DP's Mum as a backstop but your DP will want to have tried everything.

I have doubts, I have to say, about behavioural therapy on its own when the situation is now so entrenched. Perhaps it might work in conjunction with the steroids. (I'm personally conditioned I should say by Siamese who regard 'their territory' as anywhere that they can even think about let alone go. Maybe non orientals are more amenable.)

I just wanted to thank everyone for their help and give a quick update in case this helps someone else.
We took him back to the vets and again we were told that it was a classic case of over-grooming due to stress. He was given an anti-inflammatory injection and we have to go back in 4 weeks. He hasn't bitten his back once since then and he seems relaxed so far. Just hope he stays that way. Oh apparently he is also a bit on the tubby side which is an unavoidable issue with having multiple feeding spots I guess. The vet said that normally it was the stressed out cat that wasn't feeding enough due to being bullied but he can see that that clearly wasn't the case here. Oops, guess we need to make sure he gets more exercise.
Thanks for the advice!