Am I Being Unreasonable?

[SkinnedAlive]

Thought about posting in that other place but they may not understand.

I am the most unbelivebly gorgeous being in the universe fairly normal cat with fairly normal needs. My slave tells me she has an exam tomorrow and is stressed. I am being lenient and only insisting on mimimal cooking (the expensive food in the fancy packet is acceptable) but it is my massage I am upset about. I only insist on it twice a day, but she seems to think it is ok to massage me and read her notes [hshock]. I feel a good 45 min massage should be accompanied by staring lovingly into my eyes the whole time.

Am I being unreasonable? Should I chastise her in some way? True, the nice pretty white bed sheets do bear the odd few bloodspots where I have clawed her as she RUDELY turns over in the night and wakes me up - but her training is quite well advanced now and I rarely need to do this. Should I dump her and get another slave? Advice please!!!! I don't want to go back to the start and retrain a new one, but I do feel the slave is taking things a bit too far!

I feel your pain :(

I am a pampered moggy and also very handsome and love nothing more than getting brushed and stroked and fed all day long but this apparently cannot be done. They don't appreciate that when they are in bed I might like to play chasing feet.

How rude of the pretty lady to turn in her sleep! Who does she think she is?! Shocking behaviour, it's not as if you would ever stretch and squirm when asleep so you take up more and more room on the bed/sofa wherever you are!

I would say, stick it out for a bit longer and then normality will return!

Yes, you are probably right - I should wait it out, sigh. I too would like to be fed all day, but she always mutters something about me being overweight as it is!!!!!!!! [hshock]. That is the pot calling the kettle black - she is, I am sure, getting a little porky in her old age. She is cooking something nice just now and I have shown my appreciation by tripping her up rubbing against her legs, but she just says something like 'onions are bad for cats'. I insisted by asking louder - I don't want a terrible misunderstanding to happen and for her to think I do not like her cooking! - but she just said something about oxidative damage - I think she makes it up to make herself sound interesting.

I will go to vomit on her precious notes to let her know how I feel [hsmile]

Oooo good plan with the vomiting! That always gets some attention!! :o

I too like to have a sniff show an interest in their food, I like lots of things but like you, I have to lose a bit of weight. On the same flavour biccies nearly EVERY meal!! She does try to vary it with a couple of other flavours but it's not like the good old days when every morning I would get a bit of Weetabix or Shreddies and sometimes soup, mashed potato, yogurt, beans.....sigh :(

Do you like to position yourself in the most prominent place possible so they CANNOT help but notice you like in doorways, stairs or on important things? One of my 'things' is to make them play!! :o I have been known to drop a drinking straw on my sleeping Daddy's chest while he slept and demand a play!

I think the problem you will find is that it is very difficult to get one that is any better than another IMO....They are just SOOO fickle, self centred, self serving....

My slave even IGNORES me when she rushes in after a full day at somewhere she calls work, despite my obvious pain and need for food, attention, strokes, which I am LOUDLY communicating to her, just so she can sit in this cold white room on a white ceramic seat loudly breathing sighs of relief muttering stuff about "weak bladder post childbirth".

But I mean, WHAT ABOUT MEEEE? I've had a terrible day having to choose between which fleecy bed I'm going to sleep in, whether I fancy eating any more brekkie or just pretending I have gone off it to make her rush out to buy a new brand of food, and seeing how much fur I can discard around the place generally. Also it is terribly onerous having to see how far I can spread that cat litter stuff around the kitchen.

And don't get me started about whats involved in terrorising the young slave...Sitting on her favourite TopShop top (??) and throwing up hairballs on it usually gets me SOME attention, even if its not quite the type I was hoping for.

No, I don't hold out much hope. They're generally pretty untrainable, should have been neutered to stop those pesky young slave things, and why can't they learn that a diet of cooked ham is all I really want (even if it isn't good for me.....)...

yes why do they not like it when we so lovingly kick the litter around so prettily?!

They do not realise how much work we do, and when we throw ourselves on the floor yawning and stretching we have truly earned our rest! We have to make sure everything especially freshly washed items that are ready for putting away have a good bit of fluff on them

My young slave and Daddy slave let me play dabbing chins (don't risk it with mummy slave, she is a meanie!!) and young slave has long hair too which I do like to play with sometimes.

Top tip, if your slaves grate cheese there are normally some bits that drop on the floor!! :o

Oh my goodness gracious!!!!!!!!! You both have young slaves. I admit, my sister and myself are just not that brave. I concur they seem a most untrainable species - how sad as when they get it right they are quite wonderful!

I do like the tip about the grated cheese. She is making lasagne - maybe there will be some?????

I expect there will be some cheese going spare! You may need to do some leg rubbing and sit nicely for it though!

No cheese was forthcoming. I plan to vomit in the bed and do a poo just outside her own toilet (pretending I was trying to use it - which I have done spontaneously in the past when I felt like a change). She will stand on it in the dark when she gets up to the toilet [hwink]

You are being totally reasonable. The best punishment for a slave who does this to you is to disappear for a while. She will be utterly frantic between that and the exam and will give you everything you demand require for at least a week after you reappear. She may also fail the exam but that is hardly your problem.

Hmmm - that is a very interesting thought. It is a bit nippy out - wonder if any of the neighbours would like an amusing house guest? In my keen observation of their comings and goings did not notice any with bags from delicatessen.

Will give the matter further consideration as I nap (snoreing loudly of course)

Um, my cat says to tell you that the way to go is to demand your massage in the middle of the night. Just headbutt your slave's hand until she gives in and strokes you. If she seems to be falling asleep, bite her. If she tries to avoid the issue by putting her hands under the duvet, paw her in the face.

I probably shouldn't be passing this on, but I don't really see why I should be the only one to suffer.

Huh you think you have it bad, I had a teeny tiny run in with a car and my slave locked me in a cage for a month whilst my dc were allowed to roam free and taunt me, I rewarded that with a bite when she finally let me out. Even now though she insists on putting me in the cage at night and when I try to climb the windows to get out, she keeps telling me I will hurt myself, I swear shes in league with that vet woman but I got my own back on her by running away and hiding behind the bin while her young helper (slave mentioned work experience?) stood behind her giggling.

Ha that will teach her she put a treat in the cage to tempt me back but I got it and ran to hide, don't know why she insists the vet knows better than I do

Oh dear, yes that cage business is not at all good. I at ties am forced to share one with my sister and we both scream at the top of our lungs. I recommend shredding the curtains when you are trying to get out the window - and if you are heavy - get your dc to swing on them at the same time in the middle of the night. When you pull the curtain rails off the brackets it makes a wonderful noise, and to watch the slave 'working' in the middle of the night to sort out rail, rehang curtains etc is very gratifying.

Baby - good to see you have your human typing your messages for you as you dictate. You certainly would not want to type yourself!!!!!

Slaves can be so selfish. Mine was even absent for at least 3 nights recently! I thought she was never coming back. I still had a male slave and the two smaller ones, but even so. I had to resort to attacking the feet of the small female one in her bed and demanding fuss from her at various times of the night. What do I care that she is going to school in the morning? I had been without my main caregiver for days fgs! I intend to start interviewing for a new slave soon. I shall start to scout the neighbourhood for comfy looking houses soon, I just need to recuperate from the stress of it all first.

Ah one step ahead they dc have been climbing the curtains a dozen times a day, usually whilst playing tig for weeks now, yet to pull the curtains down but they're working on it, I of course am far too dignified for games like that.

Thistle my predecessor here seems to think that just wandering in and making yourself comfortable on a new slaves sofa is a good way to go, the good, well adequate ones can be seen instantly by their response. He spent some time living behind a fish and chip shop which he referred to as those were the days

3 whole nights without your number one care giver?! Disgraceful!

One of my slave has loads of wool lurking about and wasn't happy when I rearranged a ball of it the other night. One of my favourite things to do, even better if I manage to break the wool! At best I just leave her some soggy wool to knit with! :o

I overheard her last night saying she has finished knitting a hat....she makes me model them!! I shall try to avoid this happening but she is sneaky and does it when I am sleepy

Exam over and it looks like normal service will be restored. What a relief!!!!! Slave looked a touch downcast and said she had made some mistakes - she can't be perfect like us cats, poor little thing. Endeavored to cheer her up by sitting on her lap purring and kneading her legs hard - she started to squirm with pleasure! Job well done :D

Sadly slave has offered to catsit for a friend in Australia. So nasty smell on her bah where the 'OC' has been rubbing there. Hmmmmmmm. It had better not pee on slaves bag or will need to find way of preventing slave from leaving the house..........

My male slave insisted on clipping my claws, much to my disgust. I have just showed him my contempt by scratching the new carpet - I've nearly made a hole in it already.

The female slave is moaning about a bad back and something called 'medication' that leaves her asleep on MY bed for 2 hours every afternoon. The cheek of it! How dare she take up space on the bed - it's bad enough that I have to share it with both slaves at night. Sometimes they even put me out of the room - outrageous behaviour.

It'll be supper time soon, so I'd best stop typing and get on with shouting at the imbeciles to hurry them along. Toodle pip.

My cat says I must point out that he COULD type, if he so wished. Why, when he was but a kitten he walked across a laptop, and in doing so opened new tab in Firefox, navigated to Google, executed a search, and opened a PDF document about white dwarves.

His brother meanwhile would like to tell you all that he resurrected his amusing habit of doing traditional Irish dancing on my leg in bed at night, and that I was delighted by this resurgence.

My slaves have food ishoos too, they're obsessed with getting me to eat catfood, I mean, that stuff is only fit for human consumption! When they try to force me into eating it I go outside, catch a few rodents and bring them in to show them my alternative meal planning options. This works a treat and I usually get presented with suitable alternative options. If I'm feeling particularly hard done by, I'll do it in the middle of the night and chase the rodent around the bedroom ineffectually, making it squeak loudly.

My slaves have ishoos with my chewing plastic addiction :(

They don't understand my NEED to chew on things in their room at 4am and wake them up

I also have to share a bed with the 2 big slaves, but I do often lie between the legs of the female one and it makes it hard for her to move! :o I also like to lie horizontially between them so they are both hanging off the sides of the bed!