5 yr old DS and new kitten

[DippyMummy]

Our only DS (aged 5) has been asking for a pet for a long time, and for months we have all been talking about getting a cat. We've been on the local Cat Protection list for a kitten for quite a while, and yesterday at long last we collected a lovely little kitten. DS has been very excited, & couldn't wait to come home from school to meet her. However, so far it has not been the wonderful boy-pet relationship we were imagining. DS says that the kitten (who is of course very lively at times) scares him. He's frightened of being scratched ot bitten (though this has not happened.... yet). And this evening he sat on my lap, sobbing "I don't want a cat". DP and I have been trying very hard not to give the kitten all our attention (though this is difficult as she's so engaging and also needs constant watching) - so the shift in attention is probably an issue, as well as the fear of those sharp little claws and teeth. I'd really appreciate hearing of any similar experiences, and would love some reassurance that things will straighten out. Any good strategies for dealing with the jealousy, and also the fear? Apart from the obvious "talking about it" - which we are doing. Thanks!

have you tried turning it into a game for him where he can play with the kitten using a kitten toy you can get long plastic sticks with elastic and a toy or feathers on the end and he could dangle this in front of the kitten, kitten will love it and he will be far enough away from the kittens claws, he wil get used to the kitten and as they get older they dont seem to always have there claws out as they do when they are young, i have a cat and at the moment kittens and they do claw and they are sharpe

That's a good idea, will try that. This evening he decided to invite her into his playtent, and we felt that the relationship was improving. But inevitably he got scratched (just a tiny bit) which was a bit of a shock for him (and the resulting scream was a bit of a shock for kitty). We then got him to give the cat her tea as a peace offering. This worked OK. Perhaps things are gonna be alright after all...

my DS also 5 was a bit frightened of our 2 kitties at first although they have calmed down now as they are nearly 1.

Definatley games is the way to go, my DS dangles a length of string for them to chase etc and both kitties love plastic drinking straws and go mad round the house chasing them.

I would also get him feeding your cat and trying to get the cat to come to him when its called by its name will build up the bond.

Try and knacker the kitty out as much as poss so when it sits on your sons lap it is too tired to do anything except sleep

I think also explain that the kitten does not mean to hurt him and its only a baby etc might help (it did with us)

DD was scared of our two when we got them - she used to sit on the sofa with a massive cushion on her lap to protect herself from the kittens sitting on her. She did get scratched a few times, which really didn't help - once in particular one of them tried to jump onto a surface, missed, and saved itself by digging its claws into her (naked, ouch) back. We didn't really do anything specific, but things just settled in time. I don't think DH and I appreciated just how scratchy and bitey little kittens can be, entirely without meaning to. Now they've calmed down a lot, and we all know their personalities - one you tickle his tummy, the other if you try you get bitten, for instance.

But do keep an eye on DS with your kitten, for both of their sakes - DD did some very silly things when ours were small, notably throwing a cushion at one of them, and managing to slam one's paw in a door, which I hadn't foreseen (as she was 5, not a toddler, and quite sensible at that).