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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

My puppy is aloof. Is this normal?

17 replies

AppleSetsSail · 09/01/2016 19:21

I have a 4.5 month old Golden Retriever pup. She is adorable and progressing very well on all fronts but is just incredibly aloof for large chunks of the day.

She's incredibly happy and affectionate first thing in the morning, but then very quick to shrug off cuddles etc throughout the rest of the day. Is this a phase?

OP posts:

hmcReborn · 09/01/2016 19:22

Does this coincide with when she is feeling sleepier?

Original poster

AppleSetsSail · 09/01/2016 19:24

Possibly. But she is a big sleeper so it's pretty hard to tell.

OP posts:

Toomuch2young · 09/01/2016 19:24

Hi is she bright and lively and eating and toilet ony well?
Has anything changed in her routine or her house?
She is still very little and they do sleep a lot at that age and could be she has a more reserved personality. But if she is acting outside of a normal puppy range or is frequently disinterested in things then I would get her checked over.

Original poster

AppleSetsSail · 09/01/2016 19:28

She's gotten a perfect bill of health from the vet (I was feeling paranoid).

She's doing so well on all fronts, like a textbook puppy - down to just 1-2 pee accidents per day in the house, socialising beautifully with other dogs at the park, doing well on her lead, eating well, learning her commands, etc.

She just very rarely will come up to any of us and initiate cuddling or play. As I said, very affectionate in the morning and it's downhill from there.

OP posts:

hmcReborn · 09/01/2016 19:53

I think - she is still tiny and needs a lot of sleep and that's at the root of it. I know when I am tired I just want to be left alone.

My adult flatcoat retriever is still the same - when tired (not as much as a pup) he doesn't want bothering...but he is playful and affectionate when he is feeling fresh and alert

Original poster

AppleSetsSail · 09/01/2016 20:06

I'll certainly pay closer attention to see if they're related. I hope you're right.

She is, weirdly, most playful with herself - she'll play with the garden hose for ten minutes straight, bouncing around, wagging her tail etc. She's also very interested in other dogs. I feel like the moment I enter the equation, she loses interest.

OP posts:

PersonalClown · 09/01/2016 20:10

My Doodle was just like this. Very happy to be left to his own devices.
He's now 6 and a complete cuddle monster. Happy to get his loves as and when you dish them out.

Original poster

AppleSetsSail · 09/01/2016 20:21

Oh my god Clown that is one cute pup. I'm swooning.

OP posts:

bulldogmum · 09/01/2016 20:38

I wouldn't worry at all...some pups can just be aloof. A bit like people! My bulldog boy hated cuddles or fuss and would entertain himself in exactly the same way. He's 2 now and over the last year I've noticed little things he'd do to be more affectionate. He's now asleep on the sofa with his head in my lap and this is his default evening position. He's super cuddly now but it was hard at the beginning when he'd move away if I stroked him. Don't crowd her, when she comes to you for a fuss really praise her and it'll grow over time. She sounds adorable!

Dieu · 09/01/2016 23:03

Hi. My 8 month old Shih Tzu pup is exactly the same, OP. Quite aloof, not much of a tail wagger (you need to work for wags), sometimes appears quite distant. Often has a slightly confused look on his face ... I don't think he's the brightest, in all fairness! He doesn't like cuddles and will move away if I lie beside him. He also won't go on our laps.
I feel slightly cheated as male Shih Tzus are "supposed" to be more loving!!
Do you know what though, I adore him and I know in his own way that he loves us too. He follows me everywhere for a start, and enjoys licking my hands and feet.
He loves other dogs and humans
He would definitely be on the spectrum if human!
Hope this makes you feel better. And try not to worry. I'm sure she'll get more affectionate as she gets older and finds her feet with you.

Original poster

AppleSetsSail · 10/01/2016 13:19

Thanks everyone, you've definitely made me feel better.

We just returned from rugby where she was incredibly friendly to everyone but me, naturally

OP posts:

Shriek · 10/01/2016 13:29

even as adults there are definite differences between mine, as dpups they are a lot more keen to please, but not necessarily get cuddles, but certainly to be excited to greet in the morning, often if they have to fight for their attention (when other ddogs around) they will be much more affectionate and appreciative of them and look for them pushign their way through to be the closest and so on. think like first born and middle dc, the first-born has undivided attention but middle always has to share.

... and then some ddogs are just more into the family/affectionate than others. In a litter its obvious to a breeder the ones that just want the food and off scouting and others that want to linger over the times of contact.

I'm sure your dpup will grow into a very warm family member, and also sounds to be a very balanced/self-assured dpup with nothing wrong, just interested more outwardly at the moment. thank your stars that they are looking to you for everything its exhausting! well jell of you having dpup, never fails to make me broody these stories.

Shriek · 10/01/2016 14:04

that they are NOT looking to you for everything... is what i meant to put!

Shriek · 10/01/2016 14:05

just saw your latest post. Thats a case of being used to you. You are always there. I'm sure if you go out you'd get the same or more upon your return

Dieu · 10/01/2016 17:00

Yes, it's a case of her being used to you and feeling secure with you. Why bother to suck up to you when she knows you love her anyway?!
My pup is exactly the same with others. Way friendlier to the Tesco man than to me I think he loves the novelty of meeting others, as he is with me most of the time.

Hoppinggreen · 10/01/2016 17:04

I hve had 3 Golden Retrievers in the past and number 4 is 9 weeks old and currently snoring on my lap. This puppy is male and of the other 3 2 were male, I know each dog s different but I found the Bitch was much more self contained and aloof. She did like attention but more on her own terms.
Strangely similar situation wth my children funnily enough!!

CaptainKit · 10/01/2016 19:43

My lurcher pup was rather aloof/independent when he was a couple of months old, but at 8 1/2 months he's now a lot more affectionate. Not sure if it's a phase they can go through, with mine it could have been because he was a very bitey puppy, and so interaction with humans often ended up with the hands being removed and the human 'ow'ing once he started getting too toothy, so it might have taken him a bit of time to work out that hands were for something other than being bitten.

I figure everything's got the potential of being just a phase for the first year as they figure themselves out. Reassure the desired behaviours - the morning affection, and don't make too much of a fuss when she wants her own space and she'll find her happy balance.

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