very very funny, ownership laws

[ditavonteesed]

Blatantly nicked

If I like it, it's mine
If it's in my mouth, it's mine
If I had it a while ago, it's mine
If it looks like mine, it's mine
If it's mine it must never be yours
If I saw it first, it's mine
If you had something and put it down, it's mine
If I chew it, all the pieces are mine
If it used to be yours get over it
If it smells good, it's mine
If it is broken it's yours.

You forgot one:

I might come and show it to you and look like I want you to have it, but actually, its still mine.